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Love's Spectrum: Nature Intends a remarkable diversity, and humans are no exception! [1]

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Date: 2023-07-03  

In the Spring of 2001, I got a call from the educational director at the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center (now named LGBT), a global leader. She’d read an article of mine on sacred sexuality: Could I teach their members those intimacy skills?

All the tantra yogic practices I’d encountered centered on heterosexuals, but I was keen to meet the challenge. Creating heartfelt presence, and studies in both vibrational and relational energetics were key: We’re all energy beings. Everyone has yin and yang, magnetic and electric characteristics. And everyone needs loving relations. Attempts to designate anyone as merely femme or masculine or straight or gay is oversimplified. Recent scientists report a range of X and Y chromosome combinations, signaling a diverse spectrum of natural expression. To that genetic mix, we add a wide range of learned These influence cis-gendered, hetero-identified persons too.

My first class at the Center brought both couples and single hopefuls. They came to improve their love relationships, to feel better about themselves as women and as lovers. While each preferred female sexual and amorous partners, two had been previously married to men. Some students identified as bi-sexual. Only one pair looked outwardly to be a stereotypical lesbian couple: a butch, tattooed, biker gal holding hands with her demure, pretty girlfriend. No one had previous experience with tantric training; but everyone shared a desire to experience true, loving intimacy in and out of sexual activity—and a willingness to risk feeling vulnerable to learn how.

The first exercises centered attention on heart connections. A traditional ‘eye gazing’ process helped us tap into soulful relating. Where my prior formal training had given sex-specific roles for males and females when “running energy,” I had my LGBTQ+ partners take turns sending and receiving cues, switch in adopting “giving” and “taking” roles. It became so clear that each of us—regardless of our sex or gender identity, is a dynamic mixture of yin-ish and yang-ish forces. Safe spaces allow us to discover and express them more honestly, fully. In repeating the experiential switching process for the men’s classes, I witnessed a variety of non-binarily expressing singles and couples deepen their love skills, as they felt the sending and receiving energies of a welcoming heart.

In 2004, one of my students from the Center, Betsy Kalin (Itchy Bee Productions), produced an exquisite tantra documentary film for “women who love women:” the first ever! Hearts Cracked Open began as a workshop in my living room, even came to Santa Rosa, before ending up at sex worker-turned-sexologist, Annie Sprinkle’s place. I’d come a long way since my well-meaning but not well-informed mother had whispered in my tweenaged ear, that the queer fellow we saw at the movie theater was “called a fairy: half woman, half man.”

In high school and college, a couple of gay comrades were among my cherished besties. We went dancing, commiserated about boyfriend troubles, had each other’s backs. Whereas dating guys seemed challenging, my loyal gay pals never hit on me and were fiercely protective. However, in my senior college year, I fell in love with a sensitive artist. He hoped to return my ardor, but eventually confessed he wasn’t sufficiently “hetero.” Months later, in a heartbreakingly anti-gay, Kansas climate, my friend tried suicide… As did his gay lover…

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One day, will we realize everyone is uniquely, perfectly him, her or their self by divine, intelligent design? Stop persecuting those who identify as non-binary? Acknowledge the natural spectrum of sexual preference and gender expression as a beautiful rainbow of possibilities? Nature intends a remarkable diversity, it’s the tao, the way of things. We’re all beings of Light on Love’s spectrum. So shine deLight on the truth.

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[1] Url: https://dailykos.com/stories/2023/7/3/2179115/-Love-s-Spectrum-Nature-Intends-a-remarkable-diversity-and-humans-are-no-exception

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