(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . DeSantis refuses to say what he would do if one of his kids was gay or trans [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2023-08-16 DeSantis has three children, two girls and a boy, aged 6, 5, and 3. Normally I would consider them out of bounds for a political essay. But Ron and his wife Casey love to parade them before strangers as campaign props to remind the voters that he is a politically youthful 44, while his main primary opponent is a 77-year-old grandfather of 10. And his putative general election rival — on the remote chance Ron gets that far — is the 80-year-old grandfather of 7. In addition, DeSantis bases much of his political rhetoric on “parental rights.” And he has directed a lot of his legislative energy into a campaign to sanitize and bowdlerize Florida’s schools so kids will grow up in an anti-intellectual, make-believe scholastic Eden — as long as they are white, straight, and the same gender their birth certificate says. I suspect that this self-declared man of God — who does not seem much of a churchgoer — prays that his kids grow up checking those boxes. The DeSantis offspring are indeed white, that much their parents could control. But the other two factors — sexual orientation and gender identity — are not yet confirmed. The odds favor Ron’s dreams. Most children — even a majority of young adults at the most liberal universities — are straight and gender-conforming. But what if one or more of them were not? How would DeSantis handle that conservative abomination? We do not know. He will not say. In an interview for Time , DeSantis outlined his political philosophy to Molly Ball. “I think we were viewed, really from Day One, as the candidate that had the strong record on the issues important to parents. It has been an issue, really, from the beginning,” he says of the “parents’ rights” agenda that has been central to his struggling presidential candidacy. “And so I do think we’ve tapped into that, and we’ll continue to do it.” Republican candidates love the royal we. It is their version of pronoun politics. Using the first person plural when the speaker refers only to himself is the habit of beta males. It is a verbal tell that the candidate is too chicken to risk taking sole responsibility. It is a psychological baby-blankey for conservative adults. No doubt, when Ron looks in the mirror, he does not see the weak man his language reflects. However, the fortitude he accords himself was not in evidence when Ball asked him how he would respond if one of his children came out as gay or trans. She writes, his eyes flash momentarily, and he swiftly shuts down the question. “Well, my children are my children,” DeSantis says. “We'll leave that—we’ll leave that between my wife and I.” Conservatism is easy. There is not much nuance — and it shares commonalities. Conservatives lack empathy — but they make up for it with hypocrisy. DeSantis has made political hay out of setting a real conservative agenda for children by pretending to fight an imaginary liberal agenda for kids. The right-wing constantly warns about evil forces indoctrinating children — as they indoctrinate the same victims to believe in a fake America, where there was no racism, slavery had an upside, and LGBTQ is a phase. But when asked how he would react to the knowledge that one of his children lived outside the right-wing orthodoxy, this judge of what was best for Florida’s youth punted. The great lecturer is speechless when faced with a question that even conservative parents must ask themselves. What do I say to a child who announces they are something I oppose? Where is Ron’s leadership on that? Regardless of whether you, as a parent, accept the scientific consensus that orientation and gender are innate or if you cling to the religious wishful thinking that sexual heterodoxy is “curable”, you still have to face the potential day a child comes to you and says they are gay — or not the gender you thought they were — and have an answer. If DeSantis were a good politician, he would pray a reporter would ask him that question — because he would have a politically winning answer prepared. He should have said he would love his child in every circumstance. He could have added that his school policies were there to ensure that a child did talk to their parents because his whole point is that parents are the ones in charge. He would have knocked it out of the conservative park. But DeSantis is a crap politician. But his non-answer reveals that he is not concerned about his parents or their kids. He has given his policies no thought beyond their vote-getting potential. There are no flesh and blood people in Ron’s world. Just the “us” who must be convinced to vote for him. And the “them” who the “us” must be made scared of. In another part of the interview, DeSantis does unconsciously reveal his parenting style. And it seems pretty scary. Ball writes As a father, DeSantis says, he’s not the primary disciplinarian in the family, but he’s capable of bringing the hammer down when needed. “I’m kind of the good guy most of the time—I bring the presents, I bring treats, especially when I’m on the road,” he tells me. “Day to day, Casey does more of the disciplining. But when I step in, and I do, if I’m a little stern, they snap into shape. I do that more rarely. But when things get out of hand, you kind of just lay the law down, and they respond to it. So I would say that they do respect the paternal influence.” He sounds like a man who does not talk with his kids much. He comes across more like the archetypical “spare the rod and spoil the child” martinet. I am all for parents teaching their children manners, respect for others, playing nice, doing their homework, keeping their room tidy, et al. However, a good Christian beating (physical or psychological) does not achieve that. And “stern,” “disciplining,” “snap into shape,” “lay down the law,” and “respect the paternal influence” is the vocabulary of a bully with no clue how to inspire their children to find their best*. I cannot say that Ron is a bad parent. And I am sure his children love him. But he seems as awkward in that role as he is in every other thing he does. *In my experience — and although I am a parent, I am no expert in child raising — I find that talking calmly with a child about an infraction until their eyes glaze over and then adding two or more minutes of observations is quite effective. Children can absorb pain, but boredom is a powerful tool. I would be delighted to hear other non-violent suggestions. [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/8/16/2187721/-DeSantis-refuses-to-say-what-he-would-do-if-one-of-his-kids-was-gay-or-trans Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/