(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday [1] [] Date: 2023-09-13 Brief Midweek Lesson on Crime Via Kimmel from a year ago. Criminology Professor Trump knows what should—nay, must—be done with evildoers who steal classified documents... x There’s only one way to handle someone who took highly classified documents! pic.twitter.com/s0WKFqcgZS — Jimmy Kimmel Live (@JimmyKimmelLive) September 7, 2022 Why, he should bring back Trump University and teach criminal science class from prison when he gets convicted for—[checks notes]—taking highly classified documents. It’ll be standing-behind-bars room only. Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, September 13, 2023 Note: Today is Wednesday the 13th. Not as unlucky as Friday, but we still recommend you take your lance with you when you leave the house. There's crazy people out there. —Mgt. - By the Numbers: 5 days!!! Days 'til Trump's civil fraud trial starts in New York: 19 Days 'til Mayberry Days in Mt. Airy, North Carolina: 5 Number of sales transactions in Maine last month at our 130 marijuana retailers: 377,050 Amount those transactions totaled, which translates to $2 million in tax revenue for the state: $21.6 million Rank of Vietnam among the USA's top trading partners last year, up from #10 in 2020: #8 Expected economic growth worldwide for 2023: 3% Release date of Cher's first-ever Christmas album: 10/20/23 - Mid-week Rapture Index: 186 (including 5 arms proliferations and 1 sensual shower with Jesus and Roger Stone). Soul Protection Factor 12 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today. - Puppy Pic of the Day: Surf's up… - CHEERS to streets paved with gold. Hey, MAGA whiners in Iowa diners. Your days of "economic anxiety" are coming to an end, thanks to—you might want to put a catch basin under each ear in case they start to bleed when I say this—Bidenomics: Fueled by are surgent stock market and rising home values, US household wealth hit a record $154.3 trillion during the second quarter of this year, according to federal data. This is called “paper money.” (Kids, ask your parents.) Consumer wealth has now completely recovered from the recent inflation-driven drop in stock prices and real estate holdings. Household and nonprofit net wealth increased by $5.5 trillion, or 4%, between the end of March and the end of June, Federal Reserve data released on Friday showed. This follows an increase of $3 trillion during the first three months of the year. The data is not adjusted for inflation. Am I saying that Biden just waved a magic wand and made everything better? No. Of course not. He prefers to use jazz hands. CHEERS to rolling up the ol' sleeves and doing the people's business. They're so quiet that you may have missed hearing that, after a splendid August munching cocktail weenies with all the cool millionaires on Nantucket, the members of the Senate swathed themselves in their gussiest togas and are back at work again. On the agenda: “We just don’t have very much time to get everything done,” Sen. Tammy Duckworth (D-IL) told reporters Friday, adding that she’s concerned the government could see a shutdown in the weeks ahead. Senator Warren, thinking about how she has to negotiate a budget with the MAGA nitwits in the House. "[O]ur focus will be on funding the government and preventing House Republican extremists from forcing a government shutdown,” Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) said. […] Lawmakers also have other significant legislative priorities competing for time as they juggle deadlines for the National Flood Insurance Program, the Federal Aviation Administration and the farm bill, among other pressing items. Republicans say they're willing to work with Democrats on legislation, as long as it contains mandatory horse-deworming paste distribution, an increase in fossil fuel subsidies, privatization of Medicare, and a ban on everybody always yelling "Hey asshole!" at them in airports and stores and on the street. (They're very sensitive, you know.) CHEERS to notable promotions. 1,688 years ago this week, in the year 335, Dalmatius was raised to the rank of Caesar by his uncle Constantine I. Historians believe Constantine had a bad case of the flu at the time. When asked out of concern what his temperature was, he responded: "101, Dalmatius." - BRIEF SANITY BREAK - x Meta sequoia bonsai forest [📹 David Easterbrook]pic.twitter.com/c4G7yKjHEL — Massimo (@Rainmaker1973) September 11, 2023 - END OF BRIEF SANITY BREAK - CHEERS to the ultimate spin machine. Don’t forget to hug your hard drive this morning—today marks the 67th birthday of the IBM 305 RAMAC (Random Access Method of Accounting and Control), the first computer to ship with a hard drive: The total amount of information stored on its 50 spinning iron-oxide-coated disks—each of them a pizza-size 24 inches—was 5 megabytes. That's not quite enough to hold two MP3 copies of Elvis Presley's "Hound Dog." "It was about the size of two large refrigerators, about as tall as a person stands, and though it used vacuum tubes, it was always running," recalls Jim Porter, who worked at Crown Zellerbach in San Francisco in the mid-'50s and would proudly take people to the basement to see what he claims was the very first unit delivered by IBM." It really turned the tide [in the Information Age]," he says. Here’s the original promotional film for it. “Another business service of tomorrow made possible today by IBM...” - And now, as is custom, let's all say Happy Birthday to the hard-workin' hard drive: "01001000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01111001 00100000 01000010 01101001 01110010 01110100 01101000 01100100 01100001 01111001" And a 00010001 to grow an inch. JEERS to giving New England a swirlie. Auntie Em! Auntie Em! It's twister, it's a twister! Relax, they said. It'll be fine, they said. Nothing to see here please move along, they said. And now C&J headquarters is about to be spritzed and poofed by Hurricane Lee this weekend, putting our big Iron Man Triathlon (Tiddlywinks, Croquet, Lawn darts) in doubt: We are nearing the peak part of our hurricane season and we have a serious threat brewing from Hurricane Lee. After weakening over the weekend, Lee has once again achieved major hurricane status and currently has sustained winds of 115 miles per hour with higher gusts, making it a category 3. […] Time to buy a chinstrap for my Red Sox hat. Unfortunately, an inbound trough doesn't appear sharp enough to deflect the hurricane out to sea. This keeps Lee on a poleward trajectory and a New England and Maine impact on the table for the weekend. In fact, the Hurricane Center brings a weakening Lee into Yarmouth, Nova Scotia Saturday night. The late Jerry Falwell—currently wondering why Heaven is so dang hot and why he’s still shackled to the wall—once correctly pointed out that hurricanes are steered by the gays, feminists, and pagans. Since this one is heading for me, I can only point the finger in the direction of the one gay more powerful than me: George Santos. Evil bastard. - Ten years ago in C&J: September 13, 2013 JEERS to smoke rings. How's this for a perfect vicious cycle? On the one hand, kids are flocking to try "e-cigarettes" as an alternative to regular ones, but there's a good chance they'll end up transitioning to tobacco, anyway. But a recent study also says that e-cigarettes may be an excellent way to wean yourself off of tobacco use. So after you get hooked on regular cigarettes via e-cigarettes, you can go back to e-cigarettes to wean yourself off of, and then back onto, regular cigarettes, and round and round you go. I'll say this for the suck-shit-into-your-lungs industry: they never cease to amaze me. - And just one more… CHEERS to the last Lone Star State governor to have more than two brain cells to rub together. Former Texas governor Ann Richards—whose reelection campaign was thwarted in part by Karl Rove's smear tactics ("I'm not saying she's a lesbian, but…")—died seventeen years ago today, dammit. Age 73. Born during the depression just outside of Waco, she mulled her epitaph back in '95: "I did not want my tombstone to read, 'She kept a really clean house.' I think I'd like them to remember me by saying, 'She opened government to everyone.'" As the snippet of her 1991 inaugural address engraved her headstone shows, she got her wish. (Although it must be said that her record on the death penalty, while not nearly as sadistic or prolific as her successors', is the worst of the few blots on her record.) Molly Ivins and Richards became close friends—you can read Molly's tribute here. In January, 1995 she wrote this after Richards lost to George W. Whatsizface: Richards said in a farewell interview with the press corps that if she'd known she was going to be a one-term governor, she would have "raised more hell." Ann’s official portrait in the Texas State House. I wish she had. But these are relatively minor quibbles with what is, overall, a distinguished record. My political memory of Texas goes back to Allan Shivers, and I know that in that time we have not had a governor who worked nearly as hard as Ann Richards. Who was nearly as gracious as Richards. Who made more good appointments than Richards. Who set a higher standard of honesty than Richards. [...] What our notoriously weak governors actually do is set a tone for the state. So let it be recorded that for four brief shining years, Ann Richards gave the joint some class. Good on ya, Annie. Yeah. Ditto. Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? - Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial “The Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool is very fragile. It will only be as strong as our willingness to splash in it.” —Vice President Harris - [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/9/13/2192737/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Wednesday Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/