(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY!!! [1] [] Date: 2023-09-22 A Dark and Stormy Night in the Kiddie Pool It's a highlight of my year—sinking into a Victorian wingback with a frosty beverage and basking in the brilliant badness of the winning entries in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, named after Edward “It was a dark and stormy night” Bulwar-Lytton as "a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels." The Class of 2023 has been unveiled by the English department at San Jose State University. Here’s a few: For the third time this week, Lassie dragged Timmy from the well, and while she performed CPR wondered when the Martins would have the good sense to connect to the public water supply instead of living in their libertarian fantasy-world of self-reliance. —J. Phillips, New Jersey (Children’s Lit & YA) Continued… CORRECTION TO OUR POLL: Due to a delay on the arrival of my brain upgrade software, the Pennsylvania poll option is in error. Josh Shapiro is now Pennsylvania’s governor, not Tom Wolf. C&J regrets the error. Keystone Staters are free to mock me as a native dim-bulb Ohioan at will. It was a Dark ‘n Stormy night; the rum fell in torrents—except when it was checked by an equal, if not more substantial, measure of ginger beer (for it is in a highball glass that our drink lies), accented with a hit of lime juice from a well-placed wedge, and perhaps a dash of Angostura bitters, though that is at the bartender’s discretion and certainly not required. —A. Bryski, North Carolina (Dark & Stormy) None of the soldiers, their reddened faces wet from boutonnière squirts, their bodies covered in feathers hurled from buckets, wanted to admit the 102nd Clown Infantry Division had routed them at the Battle of Little Big Top. —B. Guernsey, Virginia (Historical Fiction) Yo, Eddie. Yes, the Enterprise crew had taken the Non-Interference in Primitive Cultures Oath, but as the ship moved out of its undetected orbit around “Thumb-Shaped Planet” of the Galaxy Phalanges, Bones smiled to himself over beaming down a twentieth-century earth football helmet made into a lamp, because he knew they’d wonder WTF it was for eons. —K. Kinzer, Washington (Science Fiction) “Admitting the need for change is the first step toward recovery—I'm really proud of you,” said the first-year psych student, moonlighting as a supercilious clerk at the mini-mart, and Jane responded, “I'm really just trying to break a twenty and get some ones.” —J. Tracy, California (Odious Outliers) You can read the full list, including the grand prize winner, here at this dark and stormy link. Preferably while a dog barks in the distance. And now, our feature presentation... - Cheers and Jeers for Friday, September 22, 2023 Note colon You apostrophe d be correct if you guessed that Sunday apostrophe s National Punctuation Day period And you know what question mark I think it apostrophe s great ampersand noble that it apostrophe s got its own day period As I always say comma quotation marks A day without punctuation is like a day without sunshine exclamation point quotation marks Can I get an Amen question mark - 7 days!!! By the Numbers: Days 'til we turn our clocks back: 44 Days 'til the Arroyo Grande Harvest Festival in California: 7 Inflation rate a year ago and this month: 9.1%, 3.7% Date on which free at-home coronavirus tests will be available (via COVIDTests.gov) again: 9/25 Years as of Wednesday since Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs in the "Battle of the Sexes": 50 Percent of Maine covered by forest land, the highest of any state: 88% Speed at which Walter Arnold was driving in Britain in 1896 when he became the first person to be given a speeding ticket: 8mph - Puppy Pic of the Day: Weekend plans… - CHEERS to the chilling season. Tomorrow morning at 2:50 EDT the autumnal equinox will get its groove on and steal summer's mojo. Right on cue the flannel shirttails will be flappin' in the breeze and the trees will prep themselves to become nature's end-of-year fireworks display—a grand one this year, they say: To the delight of nature lovers, experts are anticipating a great fall foliage season in New England after a summer of heavy rain mixed with stretches of bright sunny days. “We’ve had rain that comes in storms followed by days of sunny weather, which is the kind of conditions that trees really like,” said Richard Primack, a biology professor at Boston University. “They do very well when there is an abundance of rainfall and sunny weather to dry out leaves and drain away.” Welcome to Daily Kos Forest. Beware of trolls. In his annual report, foliage expert Jim Salge predicted that the best places to see the changing leaves will likely be northern Maine as well as the Downeast and Acadia region. Southern New England “could have a good year as well,” he wrote. Still, the transition to The Nippy Side does make everyday life more of a challenge, like having to put on ten individual pairs of Gore-Tex toemuffs anytime we go outside, not to mention knitting tiny hats and scarves for the squirrels. Here at the BiPM household we'll observe our usual equinox tradition tomorrow night: slurping a quart of steaming clam chowder strained through a flannel shirt into a dirty L.L. Bean boot. Because that’s just how we roll in these parts, bub. CHEERS to welcome visitors. Following his sober-but-inspiring speech at the United Nations on Wednesday, President Zelenskyy of Ukraine traveled to Washington yesterday, where he met with President Biden. They discussed the terrible conditions his country is enduring. The president listened as his fellow democracy-centric ally described the deplorable tactics being deployed by the thugs hellbent on seizing power by any means necessary. There was talk about the effect the conflict was having on the civilian population, and how the future was uncertain because of the sheer robotic cruelty that has become the hallmark of the tyrants, who want to the weaken the freedom-loving government until it bends to their will. And then, when they were done discussing House Republicans, they discussed what to do about Russia's invasion of Ukraine. JEERS to close calls. Sixty-eight years ago Sunday, in 1955, stocks dropped like a rock…the fastest rate since 1929. The numbers sound positively quaint today: The Dow Jones dropped 6.5%, 32 points, to 455, with a total paper loss of $14 billion, the largest ever. Reason: Eisenhower's heart attack. Stocks quickly recovered, though, when the country realized he was still the president. Or, to be perfectly accurate, when the country realized that Richard Nixon wasn't. - BRIEF SANITY BREAK - x Sometimes, you need Samuel L. Jackson to play you in a commercial... pic.twitter.com/JNV54OgQEU — Warburtons (@Warburtons) September 20, 2023 - END BRIEF SANITY BREAK - CHEERS to the Environment President. On Sunday’s date in 1906, Theodore Roosevelt signed a bill designating Devils Tower—that kewl rock formation in Wyoming made famous in Close Encounters of the Third Kind—as the country's first National Monument. Some people call it America's national nipple: Fair warning: don't tickle it or you’ll start an earthquake. CHEERS to home vegetation. Here's some of the stuff that may or may not be flickering on your teevee screen this weekend. Chris Hayes and the MSNBC crew are required viewing, but not before watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy! for the former’s blood pressure-lowering clackity-clacks and the latter’s...what’s the word?...facts. Ka-chunk, Ka-chunk... The most popular movies and streamers are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. The Major League Baseball schedule is here and the pro concussionball schedule is here. On 60 Minutes: tracking U.S. weapons and supplies to Ukraine, how California Governor Gavin Newsom is dealing with homelessness and mental illness, and how sloths have mastered the art of survival through slowness for more than 60 million years and how climate change is threatening them. And that’s about it—everything else on TV this weekend is either college football pre-game shows, college football games, and college football post-game shows. Rah rah rah! Stand up, sit down, fight fight fight!!! Now here's your Sunday morning lineup: Meet the Press: Kristen Welker grills Satan and the ghosts of Attila the Hun and Vlad the Impaler about their pumpkin spice preferences and their favorite things to do during “me time.” Secretary Pete Buttigieg, who met with leaders from the nine Sioux Tribes of South Dakota this week, will be on ABC and CNN this Sunday. This Week: Secretary of Transportation and eater of Republican House committee members for lunch Pete Buttigieg; Rep. Mike Turner (MAGA Cult-OH); Jamileh Alamolhoda, wife of Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi, for a discussion on women's rights in Iran. Face the Nation: Senator Mark Kelly (D-AZ); Ukraine’s First Lady Olena Zelenska; Rep. Tony Gonzales (MAGA Cult-TX); White House national security adviser Robert O’Brien. CNN's State of the Union: Pete Buttigieg; Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL); Reps. Josh Gottheimer (D-NJ), Tim Burchett (MAGA Cult-TN), and Brian Fitzpatrick (MAGA Cult-PA). Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Chair of the toothless RNC Ronna “Don’t Tell Anyone I’m Mitt Romney’s Niece” McDaniel. Happy viewing! - Ten years ago in C&J: September 22, 2013 SCHNAPPS UND STRUDEL to The Merkelator. Oh, those Germans. So efficient with their elections, starting with the fact that they hold 'em on a weekend. I never hear of German politicians suppressing the vote or making it more difficult, do you? Anyway, here's what happened: Chancellor Angela Merkel won a stunning victory in Germany's elections, but she still faces the delicate work of forming a coalition government. She and top party officials were meeting Monday to talk strategy about reaching out to the center-left rivals they need to form a government. "We have two possibilities: the Social Democrats or the Greens," Volker Kauder, the leader of her party's parliamentary group, told ARD public Television. Wow. She has two choices for creating a functional, efficient government. Or it's known over here: two more than we do. - And just one more… JEERS to using your pet as a human shield. On tomorrow’s date in 1952, in perhaps the earliest demonstration of the power of political persuasion via the boob tube, Ike's VP candidate Richard Nixon delivered a milestone in televised ass-covering when he gave his famous Checkers speech on national TV. Talk about laying it on thick: “I should say this, that Pat doesn't have a mink coat. But she does have a respectable Republican cloth coat, and I always tell her she would look good in anything. One other thing I probably should tell you, because if I don't they will probably be saying this about me, too. We did get something, a gift, after the election. “You are not a crook, Dick. Yet.” A man down in Texas heard Pat on the radio mention the fact that our two youngsters would like to have a dog and, believe it or not, the day before we left on this campaign trip we got a message from Union Station in Baltimore, saying they had a package for us. We went down to get it. You know what it was? It was a little cocker spaniel dog, in a crate that he had sent all the way from Texas—black and white, spotted, and our little girl Tricia, the six year old, named it Checkers. And you know, the kids, like all kids, loved the dog, and I just want to say this, right now, that regardless of what they say about it, we are going to keep it.” Noting his blatant disregard for the law, the FEC hauled his ass off to jail, where he languished for 40 years and afterward couldn’t get elected to even a municipal sewer commission... [Poof!!!] Whoa. That was a great dream while it lasted. Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? - [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/9/22/2194531/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Rum-and-Coke-FRIDAY Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/