(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Caturday Pootie Diary: Come look at memes with Freddie (Costume Cat Edition) [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2023-09-30 “So, it’s going to be Halloween in a few weeks,” I said, slowly. We were in our normal evening spots on the couch, me stretched out on my reclining seat, Freddie stretched out on the seat next to mine, his back end pressed against my hip. I petted him in long strokes, occasionally stopping to scratch between his ears. “I’m not wearing a costume,” He snapped. I sighed and picked up my phone. “Maybe some memes will get you in the mood,” I said. He immediately perked up, curling his body so he could see what was on my screen. A gentle reminder of how we do things: 🐱🐶🐦 Do not troll the diary. If you hate pootie diaries, leave now. No harm, no foul. Please do share pics of your fur kids! If you have health/behavior issues with your pets, feel free to bring it to the community. Pooties are cats; Woozles are dogs. Birds... are birds! Peeps are people. Whatever happens in the outer blog STAYS in the outer blog. If you’re having “issues” with another Kossack, keep it “out there.” This is a place to relax and play; please treat it accordingly. There are some pics we never post: snakes, creepy crawlies, any and all photos that depict or encourage human cruelty toward animals. These are considered “out of bounds” and will not be tolerated. If we alert you to it, please remember that we do have phobic peeps who react strongly to them. If you keep posting banned pics...well then...the Tigress will have to take matters in hand. Or, paw “That cat is not trying to be scary,” Freddie sniffed. “That cat is looking for treats.” I gave him a side-eye. “Do you try to be cute for treats?” “Of course,” he said. “It works every time.” “That’s a Star Wars tie,” I said, pointing. “That cat should not be wearing a tie,” Freddie said. “Someone is teaching that baby right,” I said. Freddie squinted at the picture. “That baby is allowed on the table,” he pointed out, looking at me. “Okay, that’s not allowed. But they are teaching him to love Halloween!” “On the table.” “Moving on!” “He’s in a costume!” “Absolutely not.” Freddie looked at his fur, then back at the picture. “Am I orange?” he wondered. “You’re more tan,” I said. “Plus orange cats have a reputation for sharing a single braincell. You, on the other hand, are very smart.” “I’d never climb inside a pumpkin,” he agreed. I looked over at the Amazon box next his beds. We hadn’t thrown it out yet because he likes to sit in it. “Sure you wouldn’t,” I said. "I like the part about the treats,” Freddie said, slowly. “But the costume is too much.” “That’s a very involved costume,” I agreed. “I wouldn’t dress you up that much.” “Or at all.” “She looks mad,” I said. “But also spooky.” “No, just mad.” “You could scare dogs,” I said, pointing. “I can do that anyway.” “I bet this cat would be much happier with a costume. He could dress up as a gourd like his smily friends!” “I think he would bite anyone who tried,” Freddie said. "You wouldn’t have to dress up alone,” I said. “I could dress up with you.” “That cat looks horrified,” he pointed out. “Yeah,” I conceded. “She sure does.” “Oooooh!” “No.” "I think the threats are appropriate,” Freddie said. “That hat is an insult.” “But it rhymes! That means he likes being the Cat in the Hat!” “I don’t know what that means, but I know a human got bit not long after this picture was taken.” “None of these cats in costumes look happy,” he said, leaning forward to smell the picture on my phone. “I think that one has resting angry face.” “Resting angry to be in a costume face!” “This kitten got famous because of that costume,” I enticed. “I don’t need fame,” Freddie said. “All I need is a warm place to sleep. And food. And gushy food — the chunky kind. And treats sometimes. In the snowman. Also a human to cuddle with sometimes and sometimes ignore. And a human bed to hide under. Also someone to pet me when I want to be petted and let me bite them when I don’t — “ “Is that person me?” I asked, dryly. “— and someone I can cuddle with when she’s asleep. Also a human I can sometimes just watch while she sleeps. Or groom. Sometimes I want to groom a human while she’s asleep — “ “Does that mean you lick me while I’m asleep?” I asked, moderately horrified. “— I also need small insects to chase. And toys to ignore. And hair ties to play with. Also bottle caps. Those are fun to throw and chase. I need humans to sit in the room while I sleep. Oh! Fresh water too, that’s very important. And catnip! Can’t forget catnip.” We stared at each other. “My needs are simple,” he said. "She’s not wearing a costume,” Freddie observed. “Every night is Halloween night for her!” “This kitty looks very proud to be in a costume,” I said. “Look how fancy and heroic he looks!” “It’s still no.” “Oh! Sometimes I like sleeping on things that aren’t soft. Just like this cat!” “I think this cat might be a witch,” I told him. “A very comfortable witch,” he said. "It’s important to embrace Halloween,” I told him, pointing at the meme. “No costume.” “You’ll be so cute,” I wheedled. “Not worth it.” “So cute I’d be forced to give you treats,” I sang. He hesitated. “Still no.” I picked up the bag and shook it. He sighed deeply and stood. Happy Caturday, Peeps! Freddie is a sweet, patient boy who let us put this costume on him and take a few pictures. He didn’t like it and was very confused, but he cooperated like the good boy he is. We only made him wear it for about three minutes. Do your pooties and woozles wear costumes for you? We love to see it... [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/9/30/2196432/-Caturday-Pootie-Diary-Come-look-at-memes-with-Freddie-Costume-Cat-Edition Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/