(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Top Comments: 21302 Days Edition [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2023-10-02 I’ve struggled all day trying to figure out what to write about. Two years ago (Oct 4th, actually), I was in a joyful mood because I’d spent the weekend in Rochester attending my eldest’s Replacement Pandemic-Cancelled 2020 Commencement. That’s a rare feeling this time of year, however... 21302 Days… 3043 weeks… just under 700 months… 58 years, 3 months, 26 days Brillig and Dad, Photo labeled “Vacation 1971”. He would have just turned 39 in this photo. 21302 Days also is the length of time my father had on this Earth. He died on October 2, 1990 of melanoma, about three years after his initial diagnosis and six months after his disease spread as brain metastases. That diagnosis came a year after he and we noticed a mole on his left forearm (that part in the shadow of his shirt in the photo on left, because in those days cars didn’t have air conditioning and Dad drove with his arm hanging out the window) was black and ugly-looking. He was afraid to see his doctor, and so by the time he finally went, the cancer had spread to his lymph nodes. We don’t know if he would have survived longer if he’d seen a doctor in 1986 instead of 1987. I think it’s likely, but “coulda woulda shoulda” serves no one well. When I posted this photo to my social media feed today, I in part said this: This picture is marked "1971 vacation". It likely would be somewhere on Cape Cod, where my family went every summer for many years. I dont have a lot of photos of my Dad because (1) we predated the internet age; (2) when my parents divorced photos were scattered and many were lost; (3) he died 33 years ago today at the age of 58 1/4 years. He met Mr. Brillig just once, two months before he died of melanoma. He left us before he met any of his six grandchildren. I outlived him on November 9, 2022 and he's been gone for over half my life now. I wonder what his grandkids would have called him... PopPop like HIS father, or something else? I love you and miss you always, Dad. Many of you may know my mom passed away in 2001 when she was 61 and K1 was only three years old. My children (and my nieces and nephew) grew up not knowing their maternal grandparents. I think a lot about what those relationships might have been. What stories could have been passed down, what memories could have been made. Also, what MY relationship with my father could have been as a full adulty adult instead of the graduate student I was, learning to live on my own in a new city. As I sat to write this tonight, I was struck by the remembrance that my father was a lifelong Republican. Born during the Depression and a Korean War veteran, his language and slang would make Today Brillig cringe but for his era he was remarkably accepting of others different from himself. My mother was a lifelong Democrat and unlike today, it wasn’t Cats and Dogs Living Together. Back then, Democratic and Republican ideologies seemed less like the polar opposites of freedom and fascism and more like two flavors of ice cream… you had a favorite, but both were generally acceptable. My Dad and I disagreed politically but recognized we BOTH wanted the same things and our approaches to getting there were different. In addition to wondering what my children would have called their grandfather, I also now wonder what he would have thought of what his party has become. I do not believe he would have gone down the Fox rabbit-hole and come out believing violent Insurrection is the appropriate response to losing and election. I don’t have a poignant, pithy conclusion tonight. But I’ll close with this: Please see a doctor if you notices changes on your skin. If you have a relative diagnosed with skin cancer, see a dermatologist yearly. Get your mammograms, colonoscopies and regular health care. Don’t let fear cut short your time on this Earth. Let’s get to tonight’s Tops: [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/10/2/2191538/-Top-Comments-21302-Days-Edition Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/