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PWB Theme Thursday: Manual for recovering people-pleasers [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2023-10-05  

Here’s the truth — I think we have a lot to learn from cats. I know I do. I know, for example, that codependency (or people-pleasing, in the polite vernacular) is real**. And much as it masks itself as simply “being polite” or “caring”, it is insidious, dangerous, and both arises from and further erodes our damaged self-esteem.

Have you ever seen a cat with self-esteem problems?

Guru #2

Why do cats have such great self-esteem? It’s not an accident — like the inverse of people-pleasing, it’s both a result of and the cause of their actions.

So what do cats do that we can emulate, and build our own self-esteem?

They want what they want, and aren’t afraid to admit it:

Guru #3

They don’t hesitate to ask for demand what they want from others:

Guru #4

They’re never bashful when it comes to calling out bullshit:

Guru #5

They’re not afraid to admit when they’re puzzled by something:

Guru #6

They embrace and celebrate who they are, instead of pretending (as we hoomins often do) to be something else:

Guru #7

They enforce boundaries:

Guru #8

They feel their feelings unreservedly, without equivocation, denial or restraint — both “good”:

Guru #9

and “bad”:

Guru #10

They recognize and revel in their own fabulosity:

Guru #11

They expect you to recognize it, too:

Guru #12

When it comes to their needs and concerns, they don’t say “It’s okay, I can wait”:

Guru #13

And precisely because they are so amazingly good at knowing what they need and want, and knowing what they don’t want, they can make us feel amazingly special, too:

Guru #16

So practice your self-esteem lessons! Embrace what you want, fill your life with fabulous things, and don’t forget to enforce your boundaries!

GITs — Gurus In Training

*****

**Guys, seriously, codependency is a real thing — and it can be crippling, even fatal. If you constantly find yourself putting your own needs behind others’, or “never finding the time” for the things and people that matter to you, please at least consider the possibility that you may be codependent.

-with hugs from one who has a lot to learn from cats, herself!

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