(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY! [1] [] Date: 2023-10-06 Hooray—Late Night Snark Returns: "After only nine months on the job, Kevin McCarthy has been removed as Speaker of the House. Nine months? I've been to Phish concerts longer than that." —Jimmy Fallon “Do you know how much you have to suck to get AOC and Matt Gaetz on the same side of something? Matt hasn’t been this excited since he wandered into the changing room at Forever 21.” —Jimmy Kimmel Continued... You’re now below the fold. Per fire code, please no tap-dancing with sparklers. Oh my God, [Sen.] Tommy Tuberville! Poems?!!! In the military??!!! Shit like “I don’t know but I been told, Eskimo Pee is mighty cold?” The real question is how military readiness is affected by the Senate confirmation process being held hostage by one of the dumbest MFers to ever grace the marbled halls of Congress. —Jon Stewart on Twitter x Loving the Interim Speaker's energy pic.twitter.com/ub0ilVZXHT — The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) October 4, 2023 - "Former president Trump appeared in a Manhattan court today for the start of a $250 million civil fraud lawsuit brought against him, two of his children, and his company. Trump was handed an early defeat when he realized he'd have to spend the whole day with two of his children." —Seth Meyers "It can't be much fun for him to sit there, since the judge already found him to have committed fraud. But his lawyers seem to be having a pretty good time. One of them came to court yesterday with a gaming laptop. She's using her downtime to play Grand Theft Mar-a-Lago." —Stephen Colbert And this [chef's kiss] from NPR's Eric Deggans, who gives this guy’s return an F: Yeah, [Bill] Maher returned to new episodes Friday, conveniently declining to admit he had originally planned to break the strike by presenting new episodes before a new deal was in place—thankfully, he reversed course, likely due to public pressure. […] Now he's back to presenting interviews celebrating Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis' antivaccine comments and pretending he's not in the business of trolling liberals in order to try to stay relevant. And now, our feature presentation… - Cheers and Jeers for Friday, October 6, 2023 Note: Tonight all 5G zombies can gain admittance to the C&J VIP lounge for the low, low discount admission price of only half a brain. Not valid with any other discounts or offers. —Mgt. - By the Numbers: 7 days!!! Days 'til Election Day 2023: 32 Days 'til the Hood River Valley Harvest Fest in Oregon: 7 Percent year-over-year increase in private-sector pay, according to the latest report by ADP: 5.9% Estimated annual cost to the planet of burning fossil fuels since 2016, according to new data from Bloomberg Intelligence, equal to 2% of U.S. GDP: $500 billion Cash Ron DeSantis has on hand for his primary campaign, a comically-low number: $5 million Number of borrowers for whom President Biden just forgave $9 billion in student loans: 125,000 Total trip distance for the capsule that visited the asteroid Bennu and returned to earth with samples: 3.86 billion miles - Puppy Pic of the Day: Chillin'… - CHEERS to a bright spot in a shitty week. It's Friday, and Friday means happy time. So tonight I'm skipping over the fact that the House of Representatives is now a rudderless cesspool of horndog MAGA fratboys and their slutty babes (I'm lookin' at you, Lauren Boebert and Virginia Foxx)…that September broke heat records by a factor of a billion degrees on the Kelvin scale…that Russia is still hellbent on Stalinizing Ukraine…that everybody hates immigrants…that the Jesus freaks are taking over our schools…and that every day means another 24 hours of playtime for evil billionaires at our expense. No. This is a time to be showered in optimism. A time to smile and be dazzled. So here we go. Prepare your endorphins for an inevitable spurt of sheer, unadulterated joy, because we now know that… I don’t know about you, but my beanie hat propeller’s gonna be spinning all night. CHEERS to this year's designated #1 peacemakers. The Nobel Committee's most prestigious award was handed out today, and I'm as shocked as you must be that it's not the previous U.S. president for planning and staging the peaceful transfer of classified national security documents from the White House to the omelet bar at Mar-a-Lago. Instead they chose… Jailed Iranian human rights activist Narges Mohammadi won the Nobel Peace Prize on Friday for fighting against women’s oppression in Iran and advocating for human rights. This is the actual size of the Nobel Prize. Sadly, many inadvertently end up in gumball machines. Berit Reiss-Andersen, head of the Norwegian Nobel Committee, said in a news conference in Oslo that "her brave struggle has come with tremendous personal cost. … Altogether, the regime has arrested her 13 times, convicted her five times and sentenced her to a total of 31 years in prison and 154 lashes,” Reiss-Andersen said One of Iran's most prominent human rights activists, Mohammadi, 51, worked as an engineer and a columnist for various newspapers following her studies. [...] "This Nobel Prize will embolden Narges’ fight for human rights, but more importantly, this is in fact a prize for the woman, life and freedom [movement]," Mohammadi’s husband, Taghi Ramahi, told Reuters in an interview. Among the much-bandied-about nominees (350 total this year) who didn’t make the cut this year: Ukraine's president Volodymyr Zelenskyy, the World Health Organization, Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny, the Committee to Protect Journalists, and also me, for forging a lasting peace between the warring factions of squirrels in their territorial boundary dispute between Eastern Porch Roof and Western Porch Roof. (And we have the scars to prove it.) CHEERS to brewing a cauldron of hilarity. Can't let today go by without noting that 13 spoooky years ago this week Republican tea party know-nothing Christine O'Donnell released an ad for her U.S. Senate run in Delaware with the most bizarre opening line of the 2010 election (or maybe any other, for that matter): "I'm not a witch. I'm nothing you've heard. I'm YOU!" - The question I asked back then remains unanswered 13 years later: Yeah, but if you are me, and I’m a practicing witch, then by definition you’re a witch, too. I mean, right? How awful was her message of "I promise not to turn you into a newt"? In an election year that saw a tidal wave of tea partiers swept into power, she managed to lose to a liberal Democrat—Chris Coons, doing a fine job after winning re-election in 2014 and 2020. She may not have been a witch, but that flame-out was still quite a trick. - BRIEF SANITY BREAK - x It’s Friday… And on Fridays we dance 💃🕺 pic.twitter.com/93VCncQ1fe — Jessi 💫 (@its_jessi_grace) September 29, 2023 - END BRIEF SANITY BREAK - JEERS to Bovines of Mass Destruction. During this week in 1871, the Great Chicago Fire broke out after Joe Biden kicked over a lantern onto a pile of bamboo fibers in Mrs. O'Leary's barn to try and incinerate damning evidence proving that George Soros created the Deep State to steal the 2020 election. Or, if you prefer the non-Breitbart News version: it was a cow. Despite the horrific damage and loss of life, there was a bright side: the ribeyes were excellent that night. CHEERS to home vegetation. Here are a few tidbits on the TV schedule for the weekend. As always, Chris Hayes and the MSNBC crew pick up the Friday news dump pieces and put 'em back together. Author and professor Yascha Mounk is the guest on PBS’s Firing Line at 8:30 ET. Or you can join the live-tweeting of tonight’s classic Star Trek episode ”The Deadly Years” (8pm, H&I Network) at hashtag #allstartrek. At 11 on BBC America, the guests on the season premiere of The Graham Norton Show include Kylie Minogue and Stephen Graham. He’s baaack... The most popular movies and streamers, new and old, are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. The NFL schedule is here and the glorious post-season baseball lineup for homeland and superior American pastime havings is here. One of last season’s few excellent episodes of SNL—the one with hosts Steve Martin and Martin Short—encores tomorrow night. Sunday on 60 Minutes: a profile of “Godfather of A.I.” Geoffrey Hinton and the latest in 3D-printed houses. Marge gets a case of ‘empty nest syndrome’ on The Simpsons Sunday night at 8, Peter takes a new job at a grocery store on Family Guy, and the weekend comes to a close with a witty Britty recap from John Oliver on HBO’s Last Week Tonight. Now here's your Sunday morning lineup: Meet the Press: Reps. Pramila Jayapal (D-WA), Tom Cole (MAGA-OK), and Matt Gaetz (MAGA-FL). This Week: Reps. Pete Aguilar (D-CA) and Ken Buck (MAGA-CO); Chris Christie. Also: the ghost of Lincoln shows up to officially announce he’s switching to the Democratic party because “Them Repubs is cray-cray.” Face the Nation: Gov. J.B. Pritzker (D-IL); former defense secretary Robert Gates; Sen. Tim Scott (MAGA-SC); Rep. Nancy Mace (MAGA-SC); New York City Mayor Eric Adams (D). CNN's State of the Union: House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries; Rep. Matt Rosendale (MAGA-MT); Sen. Markwayne Mullin (Who???) of Oklahoma; Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Ron and Casey DeSantis dress up in their finest rubber boots and armbands to see if they can break the world speed record for using the word “woke.” Happy viewing! - Ten years ago in C&J: October 6, 2013 CHEERS to the medical miracle where the less you know, the better. There's a nasty bacterial infection called clostridium difficile that can be treated with a—stop reading now if you're eating dinner—fecal transplant. Needless to say, it's kinda nasty business. But now researchers say they can send "that stuff" through a purification process and put it in a pill: "The approach that Dr. [Thomas] Louie has is completely novel—no one else has done this," he said. "I am optimistic that this type of preparation will make these procedures much easier for patients and for physicians." The development of the poop pills do have one notable complication. When conservatives take them, they keep ending up in their brain. - And just one more… CHEERS to living saints. The late Archbishop Desmond Tutu, 1984 Nobel Peace Prize winner and all-around amazing human being, would’ve been 92 tomorrow. A few reasons why we’ll always love the loveable lug: "If you want to make peace, you speak to your enemy. You don’t shoot him or her. You don’t raise your voice; improve your argument, my father would have quite correctly advised." “I would refuse to go to a homophobic heaven. No, I would say sorry, I would much rather go to the other place.” "I've been married for 56 years and Leah has been very good at keeping my head the right size. Once I was driving and when I looked at her she looked slightly more complacent and self-satisfied than usual. When I wondered why, she showed me this bumper sticker that said: Any woman who wants to be equal to a man has no ambition.” "As a young priest I traveled to the United States to meet leaders of the civil rights movement, and rejoiced in their victories over prejudice and discrimination. Today, I battle to reconcile that joy with the disproportionate number of African Americans in prison and being shot in the streets." 11 years ago: President Obama greets the Archbishop at the Desmond Tutu HIV Foundation Youth Centre in Cape Town, South Africa. "In the end, the perpetrators of injustice or oppression—the ones who strut the stage of the world often seemingly unbeatable—there is no doubt at all that they will bite the dust. Ha ha ha ha ha!! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful!" "Children are a wonderful gift. They have an extraordinary capacity to see into the heart of things and to expose sham and humbug for what they are." "I don't preach a social gospel; I preach the Gospel, period. The gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ is concerned for the whole person. When people were hungry, Jesus didn't say, `Now is that political or social?' He said, ‘I feed you.'" Or, as translated by America's right-wing religious grifter class that excuses every daily act of immorality perpetrated by their so-called “Christian” leaders: "Blah blah blah..." Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? - [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/10/6/2197448/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Rum-and-Coke-FRIDAY?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=top_news_slot_4&pm_medium=web Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/