(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday [1] [] Date: 2023-10-11 Big Day! House Republicans will be hiding behind closed doors today (because transparency is kryptonite to the MAGA cult) to elect a new Speaker. The rules of the are simple. Here’s Captain Kirk to explain: - Good luck, Republicans. America is counting on y… Oh, who am I kidding? Just try not to burn the place down. Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, October 11, 2023 Note: As a special gift to C&J readers, last night while you were sleeping I coated your screen with lotion. Blogging never felt so silky smooth. - By the Numbers: 3 days!!! Days 'til Halloween: 20 Days 'til the World Championship Gumbo Cookoff in New Iberia, Louisiana: 3 Current U.S. unemployment rate: 3.8% Percent of the U.S. workforce filled by Hispanics: 18% Percent of corporate board representation filled by Hispanics: 7% Percent chance that Senate Republicans have blocked confirmation of an ambassador to Israel: 100% Number of seconds it takes with your eyes off the road to double your risk of a crash, according to Triple-A: 2 - Mid-week Rapture Index: 186 (including 3 date settings and 1 really shitty trick-or-treat stop). Soul Protection Factor 8 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today. - Puppy Pic of the Day: One, two, three, four, five…SIX????? - CHEERS to the wheels of justice. Slowly they turn, but turn they do. Yesterday was the start of Week 2 of the Trump civil fraud trial in New York, and the star witness of the day was former CFO and human weasel Allan Weisselberg. To give you an idea of how it's going, here's a snip from NBC News's ongoing updates: There has been some confusion about which lawyers represent which defendants. Translation: So much crimey business, so little time. The iconic Keith Haring logo. CHEERS to Coming Out Day. Today is the 35th annual reminder to the LGBTQ movement and the world at large that equality is a numbers game: the more we come out, the more society—including the Daily Kos community, ya big lugs—recognizes us, supports us, and advocates on our behalf towards the goal of full equality. Overall, even with the rise of the red-hatted cultists, it's easier and safer to come out than it was when my closet door finally swung open—that was 1991 when I was 27 and couldn’t stand another minute of playing the Oscar-winning role of perpetual workaholic to justify to my family and friends my total lack of a love life. Coming Out Day for me is also a time to acknowledge and express off-the-charts gratitude to the courageous LGBTQ pioneers who lived openly in previous and much more hostile decades. We stand on their shoulders. Nobody said it better than good old Harvey Milk, who I’m guessing was at the pearly gates to welcome fellow former San Francisco supervisor Dianne Feinstein with open arms: "Gay brothers and sisters, you must come out. Come out to your parents ... Come out to your relatives. Come out to your friends, if indeed they are your friends. Come out to your neighbors, to your fellow workers, to the people who work where you eat and shop. Come out only to the people you know, and who know you. … But once and for all, break down the myths, destroy the lies and distortions. For your sake. For their sake." ...and for your free toaster oven. JEERS to the anti-vax clown show. On Monday RFK Jr., ostracized by his own family but beloved by the MAGA cult, announced he was leaving the Democratic party to run an independent campaign for president, which will only siphon votes from the right and increase Joe Biden's chance of winning reelection. He's rarin' to go, he says, with top-notch campaign staff and a rock-ribbed commitment to getting RFK, Jr. 2.0 off to a picture-perfect start for all the cameras to see. And...cue the magic: “You can’t read anything. It’s upside down! It’s upside down!” Mark my words: that's gonna look great on a bumper sticker. - BRIEF SANITY BREAK - x Dad becomes a vacuum hair stylist. pic.twitter.com/f9PtVRD8mB — Oddly Satisfying (@O_Satisfying) October 9, 2023 - END BRIEF SANITY BREAK - CHEERS to the sanctity of marriage. Happy 48th anniversary to Bill and Hillary Clinton! According to the Texas School Board-approved Big Pop-up Book of American History, they got hitched on October 11, 1975 while running from the Feds during a string of bank robberies, after which they bribed and murdered their way to the Arkansas governor's mansion, where they participated in masked spouse-swapping parties while dipping their enemies in slopgrease and feeding them to the hogs out in the back yard next to their campaign-bribe cash vault. Then they shot their way into the White House, shot their way into the Clinton Foundation, shot their way into the Secretary of State’s office, and shot their way to the 2016 Democratic presidential nomination. Photographic proof! Today they spend most of their time shooting their way into the “10 Items Or Less” checkout at the Chappaqua Kroger with more than 10 items in their cart. What can we say? That's amore. CHEERS and JEERS to one month and counting. Four Wednesdays from now, we'll all wake up to the results of the 2023 elections. Having crunched reams of data, consulted with all the consultants, read the tealeaves and the chicken entrails (calm down everyone, I put the entrails back in the chicken—she's fine), polled nearly everyone on Planet earth via my flip phone, and stuck my moistened finger in the air, I can make the following prediction: D's will vote D, R's will vote R, and the I's are a question mark. The above has been sealed in a mayonnaise jar and buried in the back yard next to the bodies of the dipshits who refused to let me poll them. I'll dig it up four Wednesdays from today and we'll see who the real Nostradamus is around these parts. Nothing personal, Daily Kos Elections Team…just business. And my business is bragging rights. - Ten years ago in C&J: October 11, 2013 CHEERS to million-dollar makeovers…minus $999,900. Here it is, America. You've waited so patiently for it and now I present to you our nation's new hundred-dollar bill. There are some differences from the current version worth noting: • There's a jar of paste—in Daily Kos orange, of course—on the front and yes that was my idea. • If you peer into Ben Franklin's eyes with a magnifying glass, you'll see a reflection of a bawdy French wench beckoning him to join her in a Paris bathtub. “Honey! The new wallpaper’s here!” • The surface is smoother so there's less waste when you're snorting cocaine through it. • When you squeeze the seal of the Treasury, it plays the Chinese national anthem. • As a security measure, all the locks on Independence Hall have been changed. • There is a freakishly large 100 on the back. This is to cover up the giant penis the engraver's 14 year-old son thought would be a hilarious addition. But one thing about the hundred-dollar bill remains the same: for working women it's still only worth 77 bucks. We should probably change that. - And just one more… CHEERS to fabulous first ladies. Today is Eleanor Roosevelt's 139th birthday. Like Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, and Jill Biden, she didn't confine herself to picking out White House china patterns, especially when it came to women's rights (from text since deleted by the Four Freedoms Park): She held the first women-only press conference at the White House in 1933. Eleanor gee I think you're swell And you really did us well You're our pride and joy et cetera. Her 6-day a week syndicated column, My Day, encouraged women to "become more conscious of themselves as women and of their ability to function as a group. At the same time they must try to wipe from men's consciousness the need to consider them as a group or as women in their everyday activities, especially as workers in industry or the professions." And in 1939, when black singer Marian Anderson was denied the right to perform at Constitution Hall by the Daughters of the Revolution, Eleanor resigned from the group and helped arrange a concert at the Lincoln Memorial. And this from a discussion of the 1946 proposed Statement of Purpose of the U.N. Subcommittee on the Status of Women: Whereas freedom and equality are essential to human development and whereas woman is as much a human being as man and therefore entitled to share with him; Proofing the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. We believe that the well-being and progress of society depend on the extent to which both men and women are able to develop their full personality and are cognizant of their responsibilities to themselves and to others, and we believe that woman has thus a definite role to play in the building of a fine, healthy, prosperous and moral society and that she can fulfill this obligation only as a free and responsible member. Therefore, be it resolved that the purpose of the subcommission is to raise the status of women to equality with men in all fields of human endeavor. In the end, Roosevelt—whose image will eventually grace the revamped $5 bill, but not before she getting her own quarter this year—marveled that "I became more of a feminist than I ever imagined." The world is a better place for it. Pay your respects here. In her honor, today everything in the C&J cafeteria is slathered in Good Luck Margarine. It's what I've spread on my candy corn; I thoroughly enjoy it. Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today? - Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial “Every human being has something shining inside, like a Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool, that bit of goodness.” —Yamada - [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/10/11/2198400/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Wednesday?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=more_community&pm_medium=web Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/