(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Deathwatch for Anubis [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2023-10-25 Anubis is very close to the end. Yesterday, the vet called to tell me his blood work showed Anubis had severe kidney failure. She said Anubis was not in pain, per se, but rather was just not feeling well. She recommended euthanasia. Since it was late in the day, I said I’d bring him the next morning, today, and broke down crying. He won’t survive much longer, but I’m leaning towards allowing him to die naturally as long as he isn’t in obvious great pain. This is because he seems much better this morning. The stress of packing him into the travel box and taking him to the vet, a place he knows means pain, seemed excessive. Being at home, with me hand-feeding him and being available for cuddles and rub until the end, seems better to me, as long as he is not in great pain. Animation of Anubis looking around the backyard yesterday as the other three cats and four dogs played. Overnight, Anubis seems to have improved, a little. I got him to eat several tubes of “Delectables” along with some dry cat food. He had several tubes last night and this morning is two different sessions, he has eaten about 8 tubes. He might have eaten more but I was concerned about him eating too much at once and throwing up. He has been getting up on his own and drinking water. For several days he seemed to have lost much control over his back legs, but this morning Anubis’s walking is almost back to normal. Perhaps this is due to my hand-feeding him. He spends most of his time under my bedroom desk sleeping. I have not slept well in weeks as I have been attending to Anubis. Last night I fell asleep in my living room recliner. I awoke to Anubis jumping upon me. I gave him a couple of tubes of Delectables and we cuddled for a while before he went back under the desk. I’ve taken several days off from substitute teaching, which I really can’t afford, but some things are just too important. After the vet called, I carried Anubis outside and we sat in the sun as the other three cats and the four dogs played. Anubis seemed content as he lay upon me and watched. Anubis’s feral mother, Hathor Maukat. Anubis is much more than just a cat, and I’m going to write his story, now in progress. I saved Anubis’s life when I found him starving and nearly dead as a tiny unweaned kitten. I raised Anubis into a beautiful big kitty, one of the largest I’ve ever had. I chose the name Anubis because Anubis is the name of an Egyptian god, and Egyptians had a great liking for cats. This started a trend as I named his mother Hathor, and the next three cats who chose me became Apophis, Ma’at, and Khonsu. I added “Maukat” to his name by taking the Egyptian word for cat, “Mau”, an adding -kat to it to form Maukat. So Anubis’s full name is Anubis Maukat Green. Anubis on his soft warm heating source, aka Dad, circa 2013. Anubis was part of my joint experiences with Dad. Anubis was there when I was home alone crying during Dad’s deathwatch period. Anubis was there when I was at home alone after Dad died. During the times when I had very little money and I did not use the gas heat on the cold winter nights, he would lie on me as I cried in grief and despair. The Anubis deathwatch brings up many memories and emotions from Dad’s deathwatch and afterward. I’ll probably post another diary when Anubis finally passes. A bit after that I’ll post a full biography of Anubis, with me narrating it on a video. . . . I want to thank those of you who have been a comfort to me in these times. I do not have very many people in my life. Not only is there extreme dysfunction in my biological family, they are all hundreds of miles away. It is very difficult to develop in-person relationships as a substitute teacher as I am moving from campus to campus and even when I’m on a single campus for a few weeks, I then move on and it may be months before I see anyone again. Plus developing work relationships into real friendships is also difficult. At my age, I don’t go out to public locations very much, and I’ve never been good at making small talk and developing relationships. This is not a unique thing to me. In our modern culture, everyone seems to be too busy to take time to just be friends, and perhaps that is one reason I’m in such grief over the imminent loss of a cat. Not everyone has been kind. One educator coworker has actually laughed at me in my grief telling me “Mister Green you’re so gloomy”. Another reacted to me telling them that my beloved cat was dying by telling me that there’s hope and when I pointed out that the massive cancer and lack of resources precluded a long-term recovery, she sharply said “Not with that attitude”. In short, she was victim-blaming in implying that when Anubis dies, it will be my fault for not having a positive attitude. I also encountered this sort of attitude when Dad was dying. When my Aunt, Dad’s big sister, heard that I’d planned for Dad’s funeral, she got furious with me and shouted at me as though planning a funeral would be what caused Dad to die. One person said to me, while Dad was dying, how stressful that was for me as I was going to see him every day and only going home when I was too tired to stay awake, “Why should it be affecting YOU when it’s happening to HIM.” There are also people who are incapable of understanding how anyone could be so attached to an animal. * * * So now the Deathwatch continues. Anubis is currently sleeping, having eaten several delectibles and drank water. He seems comfortable, certainly more than yesterday. As long as he is not in obvious pain, I think I will let him just pass naturally without the stress of that final boxing and drive to the vet. I’ve taken the rest of the week off, so I don’t have to go in again until Monday. If Anubis is still alive on Monday, then I’ll have to decide if I can leave him alone or need to take more time off. At this point I’m writing to help my mental health. If you read all that, thank you. #jtg * * * P.S. I’ve spent $2500 on diagnosis and treatments on Anubis. Plus I quit teaching Saturday school and I’ve taken several regular days off from subbing, further hitting my finances. I could use any help you can provide. 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