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The Jenna Ellis mea culpa.... [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2023-10-26  

Thank you, Your Honor, for the opportunity to address the court. As a mediocre attorney who is also a fraudulent Christian full of right wing nonsensical beliefs, I take my responsibilities as a lawyer seriously (sort of), but not really, as my morality is situational and I endeavor to be a person with an ethical character as is given to me by the unscrupulous people I work with.

In the wake of the 2020 presidential election, I believed that, again - as a Christian, challenging those results on behalf of a rapist, liar, con man, thief, thug, idiotic male and traitor should be pursued in a hugely unjust, deceitful, lying, illegal, and ridiculous manner so we could manipulate the fawning, ignorant, MAGA zealots and easily duped media. They are such fools – chasing blinking lights and sirens while we run out the back door with the prize.

I tried to represent my client to the best of my limited legal abilities. You see, as a died in the wool “Karen,” I relied on other slimy, sleazy lawyers whom I really admire because their ability to cheat, lie, and steal is without peer. As I truly do not know much about the law and just masquerade as a “constitutional law attorney,” I closely watched those very experienced liars and traitors, such as Giuliani, Powell,Barr, and Habba in order to absorb the art of grifting.

I certainly knew the information we provided to the public was not in any way true or reliable, but for me, this was the fastest way to fame, power, and influence, so I took it - after all, my Momma didn’t raise a dummy – I was home schooled.

In the frenetic pace of attempting to steal a legitimate election and dis-enfranchise millions of voters, I failed to do my due diligence, to myself, of finding better ways to escape culpability. I believe in and I value election integrity as long as Donald Trump is made my president. If I knew then what I know now, I would have prostrated myself before Him, offering to be anything he wanted me be. He truly is God’s choice and the his retribution will taste very sweet when the liberals, gays, blacks, intellectuals and all other godless creatures feel his lash.

I look back on this whole experience with deep satisfaction but some remorse. For those failures of mine, Your Honor, I ask that no one pity me, as while I have no intellectual honesty, I have plenty of self pity to go around.

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