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Summery of a New York Times Article on the Vampire Dilemma [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2023-10-31  

The vampire population bigger than ever!



A 3.2 percent increase this year,

8.6 percent the year before

Well above

The FVSC ­– Federal Vampire Suppression Commission's

Mandated target, maximum, low 2% annual increase

In the number of blood suckers amongst us,

Meanwhile the VIRS – Vampire Internal Retribution Service

Can't get the necessary funding

To hire more heart stakers

Because of the Republican blockage in Congress.



The climate crisis has not helped either,

Millions of trees burning up

In national forests

Has raised the cost of a hardwood stake

To 20 times the price of a small silver cross,

Additionally, a strange fungus is attacking

Garlic crops.



There is hope, though, from scientists at the CDC

Who now endorse the President's proposal

That all citizens become vegetarians,

The latest human test data confirms

That vampires are allergic

To anyone

Who has a high level of

Vegetable protein

In their blood.

-30-

Carl Scott Harker ©2023 __________________________________________ My latest book for children and adults of poetry is now available on Amazon, you can find it here: The HedgeHog and Other Selected Poems. __________________________________________ Thank you for reading this parody poem and dig at New York Times articles.

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