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And on to 2024... [1]

['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.']

Date: 2023-12-30  

As my blood viscosity returns to normal after an epic battle between the cholesterol of sequential cheese courses and blood thinning effects of my old dear friends vino rosso and weak beer, the reality of the previous year and the year before us comes into focus. I mean, 2023 was generally a good year for us (for the family and me), not without struggles, but with an upward trajectory. The kids grow up, and find their paths. We see promotions and raises. New opportunities. The kind of things we might expect when we work hard, and smart (believe me, I know we are fortunate in that regard, but there was a lot of sacrifice and often little sleep.)

But with uncertainty and violence boiling over, how can we be that optimistic? The returns of travel bans, environmental devastation, corrupt (and “incorruptible”) judges, and so much else. It is an existential crisis, and things could quickly change direction in the most negative way possible.

In the middle of this chaotic mess, a friend dies suddenly. Natural causes. We are barely middle aged. Absolute devastation. A brilliant light gone, a darker world without her. Deep and immutable ties with the community helped me through, but I just can’t get over this void left in my life. She was courageous, kind and formidable, and my God, she could sing. In a parallel universe, I dream that she is the same, but I am less shy and surly. She discovers my softer edge, finding a way to sing along to deep, calm baritone, making wonderful music together. I wish them(us) well, but leave the rest to them. You might surmise that I loved her, and you would be right. But more like the feeling you get when you step outside on the perfect summer day—blue sky, but just enough clouds to remind you they are there. Not too hot for running, but not cool enough to keep you from swimming. For that day, anyway, there is no limit, but it is certainly too good to last. I miss her.

Meanwhile, my teenagers snuck down to the basement after midnight and stayed up well past 3AM. I am pretty permissive, but we are busy people and have more to do than can be done when we get up at, like, noon! So after a lot of prying, I found out that apparently they had been taking the late shift hanging out virtually with a mutual friend recently diagnosed with a second bout of cancer who had not been sleeping, but they didn’t want anyone to know about the situation. Goddammit, they are amazing kids. It never ceases to amaze me how they can be so young but have the old souls to handle these horrible things with such grace (this is not even their third time in such a tragic scenario.) I basically ended up telling them, “well then”, and shutting myself in my office for an hour to cry it out.

I don’t know about hope, but this kids definitely certainly deserve a future. And it is worth fighting for with everything I have and at all costs. So, for 2024, please may we focus on the battles that win the war.

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