(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Better Yet, Don’t Think At All [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2024-05-05 By David Glenn Cox Poor, poor me! Just look at what they are trying to do to poor, poor me! Kristi Noem aka, Kristi the clown attempts to flip the script. They’re attacking me! They’re all out to get me! Liberals, mutants and just plain Joes. But actually, Trump really dodged a Sarah Palin caliber bullet here. Just imagine, if Trump had tapped Noem as his VP and THEN the “Kristi kills Lassie” story broke. Kristi wanted to show off her ability to make tough decisions and only illustrated her inability to make the correct decisions. I guess, Noem is just untrainable, and you know what that means! Let’s see; you write a book about yourself to burnish up your credentials. How about adding an amusing anecdote about that time I killed a puppy? But he asked for it! He tried to bite me! I said, sit and he didn’t. So, it was off to the gravel pit! Old Yeller without the hydrophobia. Killed a puppy? Are you fucking kidding me? Who are you…Ozzy Osborne? How in the wide, wide world of sports did that story ever get through the editing process? And then, there was the time we stole my mom’s car! No better leave that one out. But after shooting a puppy, what’s really left? Shooting puppies with big red bows around their necks under a picturesque farm wagon filled with pumpkins? Someone needs to tweak their sensitivity training. The very idea any politician thought this was good fodder for a book. Did anyone even read this manuscript before publication? Was the narrative so dull, it could only be rescued and juiced up with “That time I killed my pet “story? Do you want someone like this a single heartbeat away from the Presidency? “Well, I guess those Russians are just untrainable.” Kristi’s chances at landing the VP spot have gone tits up. They are seeking a balanced ticket. A Marvin or Marilyn Milk toast to play bass sane against Trump’s insane lead pomposity. You can’t have two crazies on the same bill. Killing your dog is one thing, but writing about it proudly in your personal Mein Kampf is beyond insane. It’s all a part of a liberal smear campaign. Someone must have planted that story in my autobiography. The liberal media has their heart set on destroying the campaign chances of a governor from South Dakota, before she joins the Donald Trump tag team juggernaut. If Trump picks her, Noem will bring along that essential Dakota electoral coat tails. “Listen, going through hard things, and I’ve been through a few of them — I’m going through one right now, I mean they’re just attacking me like crazy right now. But listen, that’s a good thing. It’s a good thing because it makes you stronger, and it teaches you really what you’re up against, and it makes you recognize how much they lie, how much they will twist, how much they will manipulate. And you just have to be strong and be happy warriors.” – Kristi Noem Did you shoot your dog? (Yes) (No) Did you tell the story in your own autobiography? (Yes) (No) Was this a vanity publishing arrangement? (Yes) (No) Did you really say happy warriors? (Yes) (No) The level of tone deafness is astounding, like a proctologist discussing work at the dinner table. Noem’s tome is ironically and perhaps prophetically titled, “No Going Back” and Indeed, that is now so true. Noem was speaking at a private party, party tryout party. Breakfast with the cranks; with all the wanna be’s and never wases getting together walking the catwalk trying to impress the checkbooks of the bigwigs in attendance. Tim Scott (R-S.C.), Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) and J.D. Vance (R-Ohio) and a cast of thousands. Tim Scott? He’s black you know. Is the Republican Party ready for a black VP when their candidate is say 77 and living on a diet of McDonalds, fingernails and Diet Cokes? I mean, what could possibly go wrong? Marco Rubio is from Florida and so is Trump. That is illegal and can’t be done; the running mates must be from different states. J.D Vance is one of those candidates who runs for every open office until he gets elected to something. And he is doing that now, but his own ambition sinks his possibilities. Vance is ambitious, perhaps a little too ambitious for a President only seeking a cardboard stage prop. Think vanilla, better yet don’t think at all. Think Mike Pence! An inoffensive type, ambitious, but not smart enough to get in the way of things. As the story goes, Mrs. Pence, (Mother) didn’t want Mikey to run. But Mikey placated her. “Oh, we won’t win, it will be good experience.” Elect Donald Trump? Get serious. This is where Mike Pence has an alibi. He had no idea what he was getting himself into. Archie and Jug Head meet the Wolfman. Garsh Jug Head! Washington D.C. sure is a lot different from Riverdale High! But the next Trump VP candidate must have already read the script. They go into this marriage with their eyes wide open to the possibilities. Knowing full well, they will be sidelined in meaningless duties. Chairing the President’s council on doing nice things or welcoming the Girl Scouts to Washington. But knowing at any moment they could be called upon to commit serious felonies. And if they don’t cooperate, Trump could advocate and incite the crowd calling for your murder. Mama used to say, “Always ask what happened to the last fella that had that job.” “The Edge… There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.” ― Hunter S. Thompson [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/5/5/2239047/-Better-Yet-Don-t-Think-At-All?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=more_community&pm_medium=web Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/