(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Caturday Pootie Diary: Letters from the front [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2024-05-18 I’m writing this as a record so that someone, someday might discover what happened here. I don’t know how much time I have left. Reader, they’ve come back. A gentle reminder of how we do things: 🐱🐶🐦 Do not troll the diary. If you hate pootie diaries, leave now. No harm, no foul. Please do share pics of your fur kids! If you have health/behavior issues with your pets, feel free to bring it to the community. Pooties are cats; Woozles are dogs. Birds... are birds! Peeps are people. Whatever happens in the outer blog STAYS in the outer blog. If you’re having “issues” with another Kossack, keep it “out there.” This is a place to relax and play; please treat it accordingly. There are some pics we never post: snakes, creepy crawlies, any and all photos that depict or encourage human cruelty toward animals. These are considered “out of bounds” and will not be tolerated. If we alert you to it, please remember that we do have phobic peeps who react strongly to them. If you keep posting banned pics...well then...the Tigress will have to take matters in hand. Or, paw. The humans have been leaving me by myself more and more often lately and I can’t help but think they are in on this avian conspiracy. She assures me that the days are simply “getting nicer” and “it’s nice to go places” and I can’t believe she expects me to believe this. Leaving the house is terrible. I’ve never left the house and been anything but unhappy. No. She must be lying. It’s been fine for the most part, but last week it happened. The ducks returned. And I alone witnessed it, having been abandoned by the humans as they “went out to dinner.” Okay. It was one duck. But that’s how it starts! Soon he’ll return with a mate. And then they’ll come back with several friends. They’ll take over the backyard! They’s steal the food the human leaves for the birds! They’ll knock on the window and demand more! The human seems to find this very sinister behavior amusing. She tells me that they aren’t dangerous and that they aren’t even aware of me, much less plotting against me. And so I wonder. Is she ignorant? Or is she in on it? I love this human. I sleep next to her on the human bed and curl up on her lap when she sits on the couch. She feeds me and gives me treats and tells me I’m a good boy. Could it all be a trick? Or does she need me to protect her? The uncertainty might drive me mad. And so, dear reader, I’ve turned to this. I must record what happens as well as my thoughts. I cannot confide in the human, so I must turn to this lonely diary. As I stated before, the humans had left me alone. The sun was still high in the sky as it seems to be most of the time now and the house was comfortably warm. I dozed in one of my beds, totally unaware of the horror that would soon be entering my life. With one loud splash! my world was turned upside down. Quack! Quack! Quack! The invader cried, boldly refusing to hide his ill intentions. I gasped and dashed for the curtains, pausing only long enough to quickly groom one paw. Once safely hidden, I carefully peeked around the curtains to see what I was dealing with. A green and blue duck paddled docilely around the pool, acting like he belonged there. Their colors are a warning, make no mistake. No creature is that bright and colorful that isn’t also deadly. I watched, as silent and invisible as I know how to be, as the duck did its avian recon on my yard. He must have been looking for weaknesses, but he would not find them. I’ve been preparing for this moment since their failed attack last summer. The human referred to this as “Independence Day” but I knew better. Would that duck fall into the trap I had set? I could only watch and wait. “I see you,” I whispered menacingly at the creature in the pool. “I will not put up with this attack on my territory!” It continued circling in the water, unperturbed, but I was intimidating and he must have felt it. He couldn’t see me, of course. I am very stealthy due to my incredible prowess as a hunter. You should not doubt my abilities. There was another splash as the duck exited the pool. He stood clumsily on the deck, looking around, presumably for opportunities for mischief. Not on my watch. I ducked deeper into the darkness behind the curtain, not wanting the intruder to see me. It’s important to keep your enemy guessing. I could hear the slap of webbed feet as he waddled closer to the window. Reader, you might think I was scared, but you would be wrong. I know for a fact that there is no way into the house through the window. I’ve thrown my not inconsiderable weight against it enough times to know that it will not break. With the hollow bones in the duck’s body, there was no way he could get in that way. No, the only way in was for the human to open the door. And she wasn’t home. It occurred to me that she might have laid a trap for me, if she was in on the conspiracy there was no telling how deep her treachery might go. I thought about it, and eventually shook my head. She had told me just that morning that she sleeps better when I’m curled up next to her. She wouldn’t mess with her sleep. That would be madness. Sleep is everything. She wouldn’t sabotage her own sleep. Nodding to myself, I decided to trust the human once more. She was a good human. The duck slowly approached the window closest to my hiding spot until he was just on the other side of the glass from me. I heard him quack softly to himself as he examined my territory while I shook just inches from him, unseen. I am not too proud to admit that I was afraid. Dear reader, you would have also been afraid. But I was excited, too. The trap I had set was about to be sprung! Listening intently, I waited for the moment he would realize what I had done. A disappointed quack came from the other side of the glass and I jumped out of my hiding spot. “HA!” I yelled. “I got you! There’s no bird food because I didn’t remind the human to fill the feeder!” With that, I turned and ran up the stairs as quickly as I could manage. The human eventually came home, and I grudgingly came back down the stairs to greet her. “Hey little guy,” she said, reaching out to stroke my fur. I ducked beneath her hand so she couldn’t touch me as is my right, and headed for the window, to make sure my enemy was gone. I climbed on her lap when she sat and finally allowed her to pet me. She was trustworthy again, so this wasn’t a hardship. “Huh,” she said, looking out the window. I purred and rubbed my head on her hand. “I really should refill that feeder,” she said, and my heart stuttered. Reader, I am going to have to watch her. Happy Caturday Peeps! We’ve had at least one duck come for a visit and it’s only a matter of time before there's more. My poor boy. [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/5/18/2241296/-Caturday-Pootie-Diary-Letters-from-the-front?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=trending&pm_medium=web Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/