(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Catfish, Cons, and Control Dramas [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2024-06-15 Did you ever hear the term “Catfish”? The term “catfish” originally came from fishermen putting catfish in with the cod to nip at their tails and keep them active during overseas transport in order to produce more lively and fresh meat. Now the term has acquired the meaning of being contacted by someone who lies about who they are, what they look like, and/or what they want from you. In 2010, the film “Catfish” documented Yaniv 'Nev' Schulman’s experience of being contacted by someone on the Internet (starting in 2007) who represented themselves as somebody different than who they really were. (The photo accompanying this article is of Nev!) Later, after getting lots of mail from people who had also been “catfished,” Nev got together with Max Joseph and filmed a TV series on MTV called “Catfish.” The series has continued through 8 seasons and is still going strong! There are a LOT of “catfish” out there! Dr. Phil has also featured “Catfish” episodes on his CBS show, and he typically features older people who are fooled by professional con men/women, many times working out of western Africa. These older people are often recently widowed (usually women). Sometimes they are simply flattered by attention from a (supposedly) young and very attractive person who “likes mature men (or women).” What I’ve learned by watching these shows is that people’s emotions can easily overwhelm their rationality, if they are getting something that makes them feel good. Humans can be amazingly easy to fool! This is what President Trump is doing to a sizeable segment of the American Population. He is pretending to be something he is not. He is lying and grifting, and even making money from his victims. I am not the only one who sees this. Here is an article: DONALD TRUMP: CATFISH-IN-CHIEF and a video: WHY TRUMP IS A CATFISH The thing about the victims of the “Catfish” scam is that they are so emotionally vulnerable. And for some reason, they don’t trust their own relatives or friends who tell them they are being scammed! Often they have been abused or traumatized in their lives and have never dealt with the emotional scars. For the TV shows, friends and relatives have asked for help convincing their victimized loved-one to wake up and recognize what is happening to them. In some of these cases, the convincing is relatively easy once an Internet search is conducted. In other cases (especially in the Dr. Phil variety), the (usually older) victim has already spent thousands of dollars supporting the “Catfish.” Usually they are expecting they will benefit in some way because the “Catfish” will say they are going to inherit some money or they already have money but it is “tied up” somehow. Much like the “Nigerian Prince” type of scams, they want money to help them get their LARGER sum of money past the corrupt bureaucracies in other countries. There seems to be two components of the “Catfish’s” game. The first is to win the victim’s friendship and affection. Sometimes this is the only aim of the “Catfish,” especially if the “Catfish” is somehow bereft of self-esteem and is pretending to be someone else just for attention. Sometimes this goes further and seeks to really partake of the victim’s life by involving the victim’s relatives or other parts of their personal life. The second, more sinister, “Catfish” is the one who takes advantage of the victim by siphoning off money! LOTS of money. Sometimes hundreds of thousands of dollars! Sometimes the whole life savings of the victim. And I am amazed that there are victims who will keep going, even borrowing money to give to their “Catfish” paramour. Believe it or not, many go ever farther, taking marching orders from their “Catfish” and laundering money for them. * * * How do “Catfish” HOOK their victims; and how do they keep them on the line? Here is an interesting list of METHODS of dealing with “Catfish.” https://www.drphil.com/advice/online-dating-scams-how-to-tell-if-you-are-being-baited-by-a-catfish (I apologize for using Dr. Phil as a resource; I know a lot of people on Dkos find him distasteful, but he is followed by a great many and in this instance, the article is informative and—hopefully–helpful. PLEASE don’t hijack the Comments thread with HATING on Dr. Phil. Thank you.) The main thing about “Catfish” is that they target vulnerable people....people who are emotionally destitute, whether through their own fault or not. Dkos member, “popsday,” wrote a great article about it called “Cults, Cons, and how to talk to someone in the conservative bubble.” https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/12/24/1702920/-Cults-Cons-and-how-to-talk-to-someone-in-the-conservative-bubble From the article: David Maurer in his classic 1940 book The Big Con says: “A mark, once hooked, is often most difficult to ‘unhook.’ If operators once get his confidence completely, he is so sure of the deal in which he is involved that he will not listen to reasonable advice even if it is given to him.” And why is this? It’s because the “Catfish” is FILLING AN EMOTIONAL NEED. And people don’t want to give that up! It is difficult to believe something that injures our sense-of-self, especially if we have been relying on these people to give us emotional support (or what FEELS LIKE emotional support). And if we’ve never learned, in our lives, to get that support FROM WITHIN, then we do rely on others to give it to us. “Catfish,” Conmen, and Cult Leaders use Control Dramas to control the actions of these people. Eventually, their followers take over, using these Control Dramas on each other! Here’s an article which shows Red Flags for people in my religion (Wicca) to prevent one’s group from becoming a Cult! CULT-PROOF your GROUP Control Dramas are also used more and more by the followers of Trump, including those Republican politicians who are trying to catch some of his victims and follow in his footsteps. These methods of Control are time-tested and have been used throughout human history. They have become easier to use as Electronic Media has added many more opportunities to con! You can watch many of these “Catfish-in-training” as you watch news and interviews every day! They will often use these methods: * Outright denial of facts, with no evidence or made-up evidence. (Can be paired with acting outraged that the others do not seem to accept their made-up evidence.) * Talking OVER other people, or interrupt other people constantly. * Answering a question with a bunch of other questions...most of them “what about” questions. * Shouting and ranting harshly to stop any way to have a real discussion. * Moving close to another person as to go into that individual’s “personal space.” *Acting like they are a victim: “Poor Me.” *Acting “Aloof.” “I’m too good to even engage with the question.” You can read lots more about Control Dramas here: https://www.celestinevision.com/control-dramas/ HOW TO STAY OUT OF CONTROL DRAMAS THE KEY HERE IS NOT TO DEFEND YOURSELF, EVER! If the person denies what’s going on or makes accusations, don’t argue. Just keep repeating how you feel and giving Energy to them. And, remember that when you image LOVING energy flowing from yourself into the other person, it comes through you first. So, you STAY STRONGER in the interaction. BUT, even if the person ends the conversation mad or walks away, we have to be ok with that. At least you have used your new “Ability” to remain Authentic and Conscious, and also kept yourself from being dominated and your energy from being lowered. YET, all the while, you have been doing your best to help the other person become more Conscious. Of course, imagining “LOVING energy” flowing from yourself into the other person can be challenging! The main point, of course, is to “remain Authentic and Conscious” and keep from being dominated. If you need to walk away, then do so. But if you can stay there until you can “NAME THEIR GAME,” then you get BEYOND “winning and losing.” Keep it short, too. Kind of like “Dark Brandon.” If you are doing Media and INTERVIEWING the other person, however, the object will most likely be: Show the person as they are, truthfully. That might be a topic for another article! For now, I just want to stress the importance of COMMUNICATION. Not only do we need to communicate with others better, we also need to communicate with OURSELVES better. If we work on ourselves, learning how to grow up to be emotional and spiritual ADULTS, we will communicate better, naturally. We can always learn to communicate better, even then. Some things that have worked for me are: Assertiveness Learning the differences between masculine and feminine communication Learning to communicate well in stressful situations, or with “difficult people” Non-verbal communication Communication from chakra to chakra Etc. (You can never get TOO GOOD at communicating and there are so many tools!) Some videos: Here’s a good video: “The Alt-Right Playbook: Control the Conversation” The Alt-Right Playbook: Control the Conversation “Bad arguments are BAIT because Liberals CAN’T RESIST digging into them!” NEVER PLAY DEFENSE These 2 videos are part of an awesome series by Innuendo Studio (on youtube). Thanks for reading! I hope I shed some light on Catfish and Control Dramas and how to avoid them! Also, if you have any more tips about good Communications, please let us know! [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/6/15/2246856/-Catfish-Cons-and-Control-Dramas?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=more_community&pm_medium=web Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/