(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . The Fat and the Furious - coming soon to a theatre near you! [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2024-06-23 So, trump wants to round up 20,000,000 immigrants, while he builds arenas to entertain and excite his blood-thirsty MAGA fans. He will use the arenas to have the immigrants fight one another to the death. Those that survive can apply for a green card in 20 years. The low, low, entry fee to the arenas will be $59.99 for Truth Social members. You get a fool day of liberal blood and headless corpses! Bring the entire family! Once he runs out of immigrants, LGBTQ+ folks will also be rounded up, but for a change of pace, they will battle robots armed with C4 laden drones. Those arrested will be armed with slingshots and BBs. When he has successfully eradicated immigrants and gays (especially gay immigrants), he will take aim at those communistical, fascist liberals who want to destroy this country. To fix the obvious problems in the US District courts, Trump plans to hold a massive lottery, called The Truth Social Judicial Lotto. People can pay $59.99 per entry, and made out to the Truth Social Judicial Lotto. Use your entry to vote for your favorite person to fill a vacant district court seat near you. Imagine how much better this country would be with Justice Sarah Palin, or District Court Judge Margarine Greene. All moneys will be used for administrative purposes, with Donald J. Trump being the sole administrator. assole administrator. He will maintain fairness and sound judgement by keeping his veto power intact over the Lotto results. That will insure that only the most deserving people will become Truth Social federal judges. Please note, to select Judge Cannon to the USSC, please send $599.90 to the Lotto’s Supreme Court ballot, per entry. A limit of 10 will be strictly enforced. Buy your judge today! Additionally, he plans to pardon forever any and every Proud Boy in the country, but only if their enlist in his personal militia, entitled The Truth Central Proud Boy Army (TCPBA). The carrying of Handguns will be mandatory. If a long gun is preferred, it must be equipped with a Bump Stock and extended cartridge carriers. The choice of ammo selection will be left to the individual member. After all, we are a free nation, free to choose the ammo of their choice. If you wish to show your support for the TCPBA, and if you with the real bronze foil coated, tin medallion, showing your support, just send $59.99 The Truth Central Medals and Ribbons Group! Each Medallion will have a small holographic image etched on, in the likeness of Donald J. Trump. What better way to show your support to the best president ever and, soon, and when we win, forever, than to buy each family member and have the entire family wear them in public with pride! Women of fertile ages will be injected with a tiny, battery powered fertility detectors. If a pregnant woman tries to cross state borders, with the purpose of ending a precious future MAGA person and donor, the detector will set out an alarm to the local authorities leading to the arrest of the future law-breaker. Any medical tech, nurse or doctor who attempts to remove the fertility tracker will be sent to the arenas for immediate, televised (Soon Available in HD!) battle with a horde of conservative kkkristians armed with grenades, automatic handguns, and body armor. Out of Trump’s famed beneviolence and his innate Scents of Fairness, the medical person will be armed with cast cutting scissors. Ownership, maintenance and recharging the injected device will be mandatory. DVD, Beta, VHS and BluRay will be available for the introductory price of $59.99 for first time buyers only! All profits will be donated to The Truth Social Tracking Company, LLC, another subsidiary of Truth Social. Get yours while they last! After the Trump CoalMine Protection and Promotion Act is passed, He (Note, the Royal He) will gather all coal power plant ashes, lace them with shark poison, and dump 5,999,000 tons of the heavily doused and treated coal ash into the ocean, targeting known areas of shark breeding and feeding grounds. I will be straight with you. We are in trouble and need your help and support. The evil, fascist, liberal, unAmerican media and progressive voting cheats have attacked Truth Social by using illegal techniques called “short selling.” First, I am 6’4 and 195 pounds, short selling is a lie, a trap and will soon become a crime. Second, I should be the one prophet-ing from any and all sales of Truth Social. So, we will be enacting a tax which takes 59.99% of each Truth Social share transaction in order to protect the most important person in this flat earth . . . ME. . . Fourth, without your immediate financial help, Truth Social will cease to exist, depriving you of the only believable news on the intertubes. Please send $59.99 immediately to Truth Social at the Address below, or call (855) 100-5999 and have your card ready, or send a Check or Money Order for $59.99 made out to Donald J. Trump now! Help keep America Safe from Librul Scum and democratics. It depends on you, we depend on you, and Donald J. Trump, the once, the future and the forever, bestest president of our god-fearing country, depends on you to save America. AMEX, VISA, MASTER and BitCoin are accepted. 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