(C) Daily Kos This story was originally published by Daily Kos and is unaltered. . . . . . . . . . . Dearest Gentle Reader: A Layman's Guide to Tonight's Debate [1] ['This Content Is Not Subject To Review Daily Kos Staff Prior To Publication.'] Date: 2024-06-27 Google, how do you say “…and she hit him in the face with a chancla” in Slovenian? Alright, sportsfans! It’s time for the first Presidential debate! (Wait – in JUNE???) Let’s get ready – because nothing says loving than two men either at or stomping on eighty’s door talking about foreign policy, immigration and porn stars? Will the debate end with a TikTok video of Rudy Guiliani superimposed over Scarface sticking his head in the mountain of cocaine? Oh. My. God. Must. See. TV!!! I have already predicted that there will be an announcement of the new-Trump rebrand of his charity/MMA-Cage Match championship featuring mud-wrestling from Kellyanne Conway and Katrina Pierson. SPOILER ALERT: Tiffany Trump throws a Louboutin at the end and Kellyanne Conway gets DQed. Expectations are low but entertainment will be high – I’m pretty positive that the AI Fact checkers are going to explode, hence keeping our human fact checkers always employed and looking to unionize. If anything is different than what’s happened in the past is that the Center for Presidential Debates received their pink slips (or a furlough until September) for debate scheduling because the candidates don’t play well with others (well, one, at least), the first presidential debate solely for the purpose of ratings in recent memory will commence. Let’s talk ground rules: Microphone Muting: Candidates' microphones will be muted when it is not their turn to speak, a rule intended to reduce interruptions. (THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS!!!!!!!!) No Live Audience: The debate will not have a live audience, a first since 1976. (Welp, that means that Trump can “plausibly deny” why his family doesn’t show up – I, for one will be looking at how FABULOUS Jill Biden will be dressed #LadyPolitician) No Opening Statements: There will be no opening statements. Candidates will have two minutes to respond to each question, with one-minute rebuttals and a discretionary extra minute for moderators. (Holy shit – this might be an actual debate!) Uniform Podiums and Coin Flip: Candidates will stand at uniform podiums, and their positions will be determined by a coin flip. No Props or Pre-Written Notes: Candidates cannot bring pre-written notes or props but will be provided with a pen, paper, and water. (Wow. We have now come to a place in American History where we have to preface “Do not show your ass like Herschel Walker did in Georgia.”) Campaign Staff Restrictions: Campaign staff cannot interact with their candidates during the debate. (If Don Jr. is shown with a poster board at the back of the room, I’m going to PASS OUT!) Commercial Breaks: The 90-minute debate will include two commercial breaks, a departure from past debates overseen by the Commission on Presidential Debates. (Snack breaks – SWEET!) So now that you know the debate play-by-play rules, here are some things you should look out for tonight: (I’d posted this earlier but didn’t include the LARGE elephant in the room of Roe and Dobbs — this list is no ways exhaustive and I invite you to build on it. Just a lowly Black female in politics trying to give you some things to watch out for) Economy "I Built the Best Economy, Bigly!": Expect candidates to boast about their economic miracles. Watch for creative statistics and vague promises. Maybe someone will claim to have invented money itself. "Inflation Blame Game": Like a hot potato, watch candidates juggle responsibility for inflation. Spoiler alert: It’s always the other guy’s fault. "Stimulus Package Showdown": Who can promise the most money without explaining where it comes from? Expect more fantasies than a fairy tale. Healthcare "Healthcare for All... Who Can Afford It": Universal healthcare sounds nice, but how will they address disparities that leave minorities worse off? Will they actually fix the system or just put a band-aid on a bullet wound? "Prescription for Disaster": High drug prices, especially for chronic conditions in minority communities. Look for plans that promise to solve this but might just be placebo. Climate Change "Climate Crisis or Hoax?": One candidate might bring scientific consensus, the other might bring a snowball. Let’s see who sweats the most under the stage lights. "Green New Deal vs. Old School Drills": Will the transition to renewable energy bring jobs to marginalized communities, or is this just more hot air? Foreign Policy "Diplomacy or Twitter Wars?": Traditional diplomacy vs. 280-character threats. Will we see a strategy or just more tweet storms? "Who's Putin Who in Place?": Get ready for spicy takes on Russia. Will we see shirtless horseback riding references? Probably. "Gaza and the Great Debate": How will candidates address the complex and often explosive issue of Gaza? Expect oversimplifications and finger-pointing, with little mention of real solutions. Immigration "Build the Wall vs. Open the Door": Border security arguments ranging from building walls to installing revolving doors. Will there be any talk about humane policies? "Who's the Real Dreamer?": DACA and undocumented immigrants contribute a lot. Will candidates recognize this, or is it just a political football? Justice and Police Reform "Law and Order, but Make it Chaotic": Balancing tough-on-crime rhetoric with justice reform. Will they offer real solutions or just more slogans? "Defund or Defend": The debate over police funding could get as heated as a reality TV show. Who’s got the better catchphrase? Technology and Social Media "Big Tech Takedown": How will they regulate tech giants? Will there be real plans or just soundbites? Maybe they'll promise to take on Facebook... right after they update their status. "Trolling and Rolling": Misinformation impacts everyone, especially minorities. Will there be a plan to combat this, or just more "thoughts and prayers"? Education "Student Debt Smackdown": Which candidate can tackle student debt while making it sound easy? Expect grand promises and little detail. "Back to School... Or Not": Remote learning vs. in-person schooling. Will they actually have a plan, or just talk about how hard it is to Zoom? COVID-19 Response "Vaccine Victories and Mask Misadventures": Pandemic responses that could rival a superhero movie plot. Who’s got the best origin story? "Fauci Fan Club vs. Skeptics Society": Trust in science vs. alternative facts. This could get as wild as a conspiracy theory convention. Infrastructure "Bridge the Gap or Fill the Potholes?": Grand infrastructure plans versus practical fixes. Will they pave the way to a better future or just fill in the cracks? "High-Speed Rail to Nowhere": Ambitious projects that sound like sci-fi. Who’s dreaming big, and who’s stuck in the slow lane? Equal Pay and Workplace Equality "Pay Gap Pantomime": Expect candidates to discuss the gender pay gap and their plans to close it. Will they actually propose solutions, or just pay lip service? "Glass Ceiling Smashers": Look for promises to support women in leadership roles. Will there be concrete plans, or just more glass ceiling metaphors? Reproductive Rights "Roe v. Wade Redux": The debate over abortion rights will be front and center. Expect strong opinions and possibly some very outdated takes. "Access to Healthcare": How will candidates ensure women have access to reproductive health services? Watch for vague promises versus detailed plans. Violence Against Women "Me Too Movement Momentum": Candidates might address the importance of the Me Too movement. Will they offer real solutions to combat sexual harassment and violence? "Domestic Violence Dilemmas": Plans to protect victims of domestic violence, especially in marginalized communities. Will they back it up with funding and support? Education and Opportunities "STEM and Beyond": Encouraging women and girls to pursue careers in STEM. Will there be real initiatives or just a lot of buzzwords? "Scholarship Shout-Outs": Financial support and scholarships for women. Will they propose meaningful investments in women’s education? Parental Leave and Childcare "Parental Leave Promises": Paid family leave policies will be debated. Will they be generous, or just enough to cover a long weekend? "Childcare Conundrums": Access to affordable childcare is a big issue. Watch for plans to support working mothers, or just vague endorsements of “family values.” Women in Politics "Trailblazers or Tokenism?": Increasing women’s representation in politics. Will candidates commit to real change, or just appoint a few token women? "Support for Female Candidates": Measures to support and fund women running for office. Are they talking real support or just a pat on the back? Intersectionality "Beyond Gender": Addressing issues faced by women of color, LGBTQ+ women, and women with disabilities. Are candidates truly intersectional or just ticking boxes? "Minority Women’s Issues": Specific plans to address the unique challenges faced by minority women. Are they offering real solutions or just rhetoric? Felonious Trump "Indictment Interruptions": How will Trump address his legal troubles? Expect him to spin it as a witch hunt or political persecution. Watch for Biden to capitalize on this with zingers. "Courtroom to Campaign Trail": Trump's juggling act between the courtroom and the campaign trail. Will he show up to the debate in a suit or an orange jumpsuit? Only time will tell. "Pardon Me, Please": Will Trump hint at plans to pardon himself if re-elected? Expect some eye-rolls and sarcastic comments from the other side. Just Plain Entertaining "Gaffe and Laugh": Who will make the biggest blunder? Watch for slip-ups and foot-in-mouth moments. "Zinger Time": Snappy comebacks and one-liners. Who will win the award for best burn? "Fashion Faux Pas": Who's got the best tie, and who dressed in the dark? Expect critiques that belong on a fashion blog. "Handshake or Snub?": Awkward greetings and missed high-fives. Who can master the art of the awkward encounter? "Moderator Madness": Will the moderators keep control, or will it turn into a free-for-all? Look out for those trying to be the next reality TV star. This list isNOT exhaustive, so add your topics to the comments! I’ve got the beer in the freezer, the cartridge by my bedside, and the pizza on order! If anything, this will be the most entertaining shit of the summer next to the Olympics. Get ready for a mix of serious policy discussions, entertaining exchanges, and more drama than a prime-time soap opera! Bon chance! [END] --- [1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/6/27/2248915/-Dearest-Gentle-Reader-A-Layman-s-Guide-to-Tonight-s-Debate?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=more_community&pm_medium=web Published and (C) by Daily Kos Content appears here under this condition or license: Site content may be used for any purpose without permission unless otherwise specified. via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds: gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/dailykos/