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The "Official Acts" Get-Out-of-Jail Card [1]

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Date: 2024-07-01  

The SCOTUS ruled today that any “official acts” perpetrated by a President are absolutely immune from prosecution. That means that there is no need to examine the possible corrupt or criminal motives behind a President’s “official acts”. Official Presidential acts are deemed automatically immune from prosecution. End of discussion. And evidence from “official acts” may not be used to criminally prosecute a President’s non-official acts. Nice!!

America is all about equality under the law, though. So, many people are now lining up to exploit this new doctrine of decoupling criminal or corrupt motives from “official acts” in their own pursuit of borderline criminality:

Cops will never again have to worry about beating the crap out of people or shooting folks they don’t like at random — because everything they do on the mean streets is “official acts”;

will never again have to worry about beating the crap out of people or shooting folks they don’t like at random — because everything they do on the mean streets is “official acts”; Bankers who embezzle money from customer accounts to their own are immune because their official powers include doing money transfers;

who embezzle money from customer accounts to their own are immune because their official powers include doing money transfers; Doctors are free to get their jollies by molesting their patients so long as all the probing they conduct to attain the said jollies is part of their “official acts”;

are free to get their jollies by molesting their patients so long as all the probing they conduct to attain the said jollies is part of their “official acts”; Government officials can use their positions to enrich themselves openly, but only if they use their “official acts” to do so;

can use their positions to enrich themselves openly, but only if they use their “official acts” to do so; Angry parents are free to tee off on their kids to the point of hurting them but must argue that they were only performing “official acts” in the knocking of sense into their wards.

Indeed, the true impact of this new “official acts” doctrine is rapidly becoming apparent as more Americans use the power of their positions to launch their own spheres of crime.

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