(C) Daily Montanan
This story was originally published by Daily Montanan and is unaltered.
 . . . . . . . . . .



A message to the mother of my son • Daily Montanan [1]

['Russell Rowland', 'Alliyah Lusuergo', 'Learotha Williams', 'Mary Catherine Dunphy', 'More From Author', 'May', '.Wp-Block-Co-Authors-Plus-Coauthors.Is-Layout-Flow', 'Class', 'Wp-Block-Co-Authors-Plus', 'Display Inline']

Date: 2024-05-21  

We were so young.

And everyone around us knew what we refused to admit to ourselves, that we were not destined to last. Because we were so pleased with ourselves. I mean, all you had to do was take one look at this baby and see that we were meant to be parents. He was perfect. So we must be doing something right. Right?

And we loved him as well as two young, still developing adults could. The problem was, we still didn’t know ourselves, and we never quite figured out how to help each other get there. I know I was very bad at that part of being married. Although there was no possible way I could see it at the time, I considered marriage a battle of wills, and that never works. That always leaves everyone on the losing side.

So I will always be grateful to you for having the courage that I never did: The courage to leave because you somehow knew this was best for all three of us. And even though I was devastated when you met the man you are with now just weeks later, the fact that you’re still together says it all.

Fletcher has two fathers, and we probably couldn’t be more different. But the strengths he brings to the table are just what you and Fletcher needed. Stability, an assurance about how to handle conflict that I didn’t have at the time. And acceptance of Fletcher as his own, even though his own ex- was keeping him away from his own daughter at the time. He loved Fletcher, and it showed.

And he never treated me like a threat, and I know you never presented me that way either. The first time I came to your town to visit Fletcher, and your husband turned to me and said, “Why are you staying in a hotel? Stay here with us,” and did that every single time I visited from then on, meant the world to me. And it presented an adult way of handling these things to our son that was not lost on him. We have talked about it often in the years since.

These situations are never perfect, and never easy, but I’m proud of the way the four of us got through all those years of negotiating visits, and money, and big events, with almost no conflict. Our son got to see what it’s like to treat each other with kindness and respect, and I see it in him now in the way he treats his wife.

Thank you for making this way easier than it might have been, and for raising a beautiful son.

[END]
---
[1] Url: https://dailymontanan.com/2024/05/21/a-message-to-the-mother-of-my-son/

Published and (C) by Daily Montanan
Content appears here under this condition or license: Creative Commons CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

via Magical.Fish Gopher News Feeds:
gopher://magical.fish/1/feeds/news/montanan/