The original report of the commissioners does not exist. Burnet
declares that he saw an extract from it, concerning one hundred and
forty-four houses, which contained the most revolting revelations. Many
of the commissioners' letters and various documents touching the
suppression have been collected and published by the Camden Society.
Waiving, for the present, the inquiry into the truth of the report, it
was in substance as follows:
The commissioners reported about one-third of the houses to be
fairly well conducted, some of them models of excellent management and
pure living; but the other two-thirds were charged with looseness
beyond description. The number of inmates in some cloisters was kept
below the required number, that there might be more money to divide
among the monks. The number of servants sometimes exceeded that of the
monks. Abbots bought and sold land in a fraudulent manner; gifts for
hospitality were misapplied; licentiousness, gaming and drinking
prevailed extensively. Crime and absolution for gold went hand in hand.
One friar was said to have been the proud father of an illegitimate
family of children, but he had in his possession a forged license from
the pope, who permitted his wandering, “considering his frailty.”
Froude, in commenting upon the report, says: “If I were to tell the
truth, I should have first to warn all modest eyes to close the book
and read no farther.”
All sorts of pious frauds were revealed. At Hales the monks claimed
to have the blood of Christ brought from Jerusalem, and not visible to
anyone in mortal sin until he had performed good works, or, in other
words, paid enough for his absolution. Two monks took the blood of a
duck, which they renewed every week; this they put into a phial, one
side of which consisted of a thin, transparent crystal; the other thick
and opaque; the dark side was shown until the sinner's gold was
exhausted, when, presto! change, the blood appeared by turning the
other side of the phial. Innumerable toe-parings, bones, pieces of
skin, three heads of St. Ursula, and other anatomical relics of
departed saints, were said to cure every disease known to man. They had
relics that could drive away plagues, give rain, hinder weeds, and in
fact, render the natural world the plaything of decaying bones and
shreds of dried skin. The monks of Reading had an angel with one wing,
who had preserved the spear with which our Lord was pierced. Abbots
were found to have concubines in or near the monasteries; midnight
revels and drunken feasts were pleasant pastimes for monks weary with
prayers and fasting. While it would be unjust to argue that the
existence of “pious frauds” affords a justification for the suppression
of the monasteries, it must be remembered that they constituted one
element in that condition of ecclesiastical life that was becoming
repugnant to the English people. For several generations there had been
a marked growth in the hostility toward various forms of superstition.
True, neither Henry nor Cromwell can be accredited with the lofty
intention of exterminating superstition, but the attitude of many
people toward “pious frauds” helped to reconcile them to the
destruction of the monasteries.