AND
THE ANSWER TO THE
INJURED LADY.
NOTE.
Under the guises of a gentleman and two ladies, Swift
represents
England, Scotland, and Ireland—England being the gentleman
and
Scotland and Ireland the two mistresses for whom he is
affecting an
honourable love. The Injured Lady is Ireland, who represents
her
rival, Scotland, as unworthy of her lover's attention. She
expatiates on her own attractions and upbraids him also on his
treatment of her. This affords Swift an opportunity for some
searching and telling criticism on England's conduct towards
Ireland. The fiction is admirably maintained throughout the
story.
In “The Answer to the Injured Lady” which follows “The Story,”
Swift takes it upon himself to give her proper advice for her
future conduct towards her lover. In this advice he reiterates
what
he has always been saying to the people of Ireland, but
formulates
it in the language affected by the lady herself. He tells her
that
she should look to it that her “family and tenants have no
dependence upon the said gentleman farther than by the old
agreement [the Act of Henry VII], which obliges you to have
the
same steward, and to regulate your household by such methods
as you
should both agree to”; that she shall be free to carry her
goods to
any market she pleases; that she shall compel the servants to
whom
she pays wages to remain at home; and that if she make an
agreement
with a tenant, it shall not be in his power to break it. If
she
will only show a proper spirit, he assures her that there are
gentlemen who would be glad of an occasion to support her in
her
resentment.
* * * * *
The text of both the tracts here given is based on that of the
earliest edition I could find, namely, that of 1746, collated
with
that given by Faulkner.
[T. S.]
THE
STORY
OF THE
INJURED LADY.
Being a true PICTURE of SCOTCH Perfidy, IRISH Poverty, and ENGLISH
Partiality.
WITH
LETTERS and POEMS
Never before Printed.
* * * * *
By the Rev. Dr. SWIFT, D. S. P. D.
* * * * *
LONDON,
Printed for M. COOPER, at the Globe in
Pater-Noster-Row. MDCCXLVI.
[Price One Shilling.]
SIR,
Being ruined by the inconstancy and unkindness of a lover, I hope, a
true and plain relation of my misfortunes may be of use and warning to
credulous maids, never to put too much trust in deceitful men.
A gentleman[58] in the neighbourhood had two mistresses, another and
myself;[59] and he pretended honourable love to us both. Our three
houses stood pretty near one another; his was parted from mine by a
river,[60] and from my rival's by an old broken wall.[61] But before I
enter into the particulars of this gentleman's hard usage of me, I will
give a very just impartial character of my rival and myself.
As to her person she is tall and lean, and very ill shaped; she hath
bad features, and a worse complexion; she hath a stinking breath, and
twenty ill smells about her besides; which are yet more insufferable by
her natural sluttishness; for she is always lousy, and never without
the itch. As to other qualities, she hath no reputation either for
virtue, honesty, truth, or manners; and it is no wonder, considering
what her education hath been. Scolding and cursing are her common
conversation. To sum up all; she is poor and beggarly, and gets a sorry
maintenance by pilfering wherever she comes. As for this gentleman who
is now so fond of her, she still beareth him an invincible hatred;
revileth him to his face, and raileth at him in all companies. Her
house is frequented by a company of rogues and thieves, and
pickpockets, whom she encourageth to rob his hen-roosts, steal his corn
and cattle, and do him all manner of mischief.[62] She hath been known
to come at the head of these rascals, and beat her lover until he was
sore from head to foot, and then force him to pay for the trouble she
was at. Once, attended with a crew of ragamuffins, she broke into his
house, turned all things topsy-turvy, and then set it on fire. At the
same time she told so many lies among his servants, that it set them
all by the ears, and his poor Steward was knocked on the
head;[63] for which I think, and so doth all the Country, that she
ought to be answerable. To conclude her character; she is of a
different religion, being a Presbyterian of the most rank and virulent
kind, and consequently having an inveterate hatred to the Church; yet,
I am sure, I have been always told, that in marriage there ought to be
an union of minds as well as of persons.
I will now give my own character, and shall do it in few words, and
with modesty and truth.
I was reckoned to be as handsome as any in our neighbourhood, until
I became pale and thin with grief and ill usage. I am still fair
enough, and have, I think, no very ill feature about me. They that see
me now will hardly allow me ever to have had any great share of beauty;
for besides being so much altered, I go always mobbed and in an
undress, as well out of neglect, as indeed for want of clothes to
appear in. I might add to all this, that I was born to a good estate,
although it now turneth to little account under the oppressions I
endure, and hath been the true cause of all my misfortunes.[64]
Some years ago, this gentleman taking a fancy either to my person or
fortune, made his addresses to me; which, being then young and foolish,
I too readily admitted; he seemed to use me with so much tenderness,
and his conversation was so very engaging, that all my constancy and
virtue were too soon overcome; and, to dwell no longer upon a theme
that causeth such bitter reflections, I must confess with shame, that I
was undone by the common arts practised upon all easy credulous
virgins, half by force, and half by consent, after solemn vows and
protestations of marriage. When he had once got possession, he soon
began to play the usual part of a too fortunate lover, affecting on all
occasions to shew his authority, and to act like a conqueror. First, he
found fault with the government of my family, which I grant, was none
of the best, consisting of ignorant illiterate creatures; for at that
time, I knew but little of the world. In compliance to him, therefore,
I agreed to fall into his ways and methods of living; I consented that
his steward[65] should govern my house, and have liberty to employ an
under-steward,[66] who should receive his directions. My lover
proceeded further, turning away several old servants and tenants, and
supplying me with others from his own house. These grew so domineering
and unreasonable, that there was no quiet, and I heard of nothing but
perpetual quarrels, which although I could not possibly help, yet my
lover laid all the blame and punishment upon me; and upon every falling
out, still turned away more of my people, and supplied me in their
stead with a number of fellows and dependents of his own, whom he had
no other way to provide for.[67] Overcome by love and to avoid noise
and contention, I yielded to all his usurpations, and finding it in
vain to resist, I thought it my best policy to make my court to my new
servants, and draw them to my interests; I fed them from my own table
with the best I had, put my new tenants on the choice parts of my land,
and treated them all so kindly, that they began to love me as well as
their master. In process of time, all my old servants were gone, and I
had not a creature about me, nor above one or two tenants but what were
of his choosing; yet I had the good luck by gentle usage to bring over
the greatest part of them to my side. When my lover observed this, he
began to alter his language; and, to those who enquired about me, he
would answer, that I was an old dependant upon his family, whom he had
placed on some concerns of his own; and he began to use me accordingly,
neglecting by degrees all common civility in his behaviour. I shall
never forget the speech he made me one morning, which he delivered with
all the gravity in the world. He put me in the mind of the vast
obligations I lay under to him, in sending me so many of his people for
my own good, and to teach me manners: That it had cost him ten times
more than I was worth, to maintain me: That it had been much better for
him, if I had been damned, or burnt, or sunk to the bottom of the sea:
That it was but reasonable I should strain myself as far as I was able,
to reimburse him some of his charges: That from henceforward he
expected his word should be a law to me in all things: That I must
maintain a parish-watch against thieves and robbers, and give salaries
to an overseer, a constable, and others, all of his own choosing, whom
he would send from time to time to be spies upon me: That to enable me
the better in supporting these expenses, my tenants shall be obliged to
carry all their goods cross the river to his town-market, and pay toll
on both sides, and then sell them at half value.[68] But because we
were a nasty sort of people, and that he could not endure to touch
anything we had a hand in, and likewise, because he wanted work to
employ his own folks, therefore we must send all our goods to his
market just in their naturals;[69] the milk immediately from the cow
without making it into cheese or butter; the corn in the ear, the grass
as it is mowed; the wool as it cometh from the sheep's back, and bring
the fruit upon the branch, that he might not be obliged to eat it after
our filthy hands: That if a tenant carried but a piece of bread and
cheese to eat by the way, or an inch of worsted to mend his stockings,
he should forfeit his whole parcel: And because a company of rogues
usually plied on the river between us, who often robbed my tenants of
their goods and boats, he ordered a waterman of his to guard them,
whose manner was to be out of the way until the poor wretches were
plundered; then to overtake the thieves, and seize all as lawful prize
to his master and himself. It would be endless to repeat a hundred
other hardships he hath put upon me; but it is a general rule, that
whenever he imagines the smallest advantage will redound to one of his
footboys by any new oppression of me and my whole family and estate, he
never disputeth it a moment. All this hath rendered me so very
insignificant and contemptible at home, that some servants to whom I
pay the greatest wages, and many tenants who have the most beneficial
leases, are gone over to live with him; yet I am bound to continue
their wages, and pay their rents;[70] by which means one third part of
my whole income is spent on his estate, and above another third by his
tolls and markets; and my poor tenants are so sunk and impoverished,
that, instead of maintaining me suitably to my quality, they can hardly
find me clothes to keep me warm, or provide the common necessaries of
life for themselves.
Matters being in this posture between me and my lover; I received
intelligence that he had been for some time making very pressing
overtures of marriage to my rival, until there happened some
misunderstandings between them; she gave him ill words, and threatened
to break off all commerce with him. He, on the other side, having
either acquired courage by his triumphs over me, or supposing her as
tame a fool as I, thought at first to carry it with a high hand; but
hearing at the same time, that she had thoughts of making some private
proposals to join with me against him, and doubting, with very good
reason, that I would readily accept them, he seemed very much
disconcerted.[71] This I thought was a proper occasion to shew some
great example of generosity and love, and so, without further
consideration, I sent him word, that hearing there was likely to be a
quarrel between him and my rival; notwithstanding all that had passed,
and without binding him to any conditions in my own favour, I would
stand by him against her and all the world, while I had a penny in my
purse, or a petticoat to pawn. This message was subscribed by all my
chief tenants; and proved so powerful, that my rival immediately grew
more tractable upon it. The result of which was, that there is now a
treaty of marriage concluded between them,[72] the wedding clothes are
bought, and nothing remaineth but to perform the ceremony, which is put
off for some days, because they design it to be a public wedding. And
to reward my love, constancy, and generosity, he hath bestowed on me
the office of being sempstress to his grooms and footmen, which I am
forced to accept or starve.[73] Yet, in the midst of this my situation,
I cannot but have some pity for this deluded man, to cast himself away
on an infamous creature, who, whatever she pretendeth, I can prove,
would at this very minute rather be a whore to a certain great man,
that shall be nameless, if she might have her will.[74] For my part, I
think, and so doth all the country too, that the man is possessed; at
least none of us are able to imagine what he can possibly see in her,
unless she hath bewitched him, or given him some powder.
I am sure, I never sought his alliance, and you can bear me witness,
that I might have had other matches; nay, if I were lightly disposed, I
could still perhaps have offers, that some, who hold their heads
higher, would be glad to accept.[75] But alas! I never had any such
wicked thought; all I now desire is, only to enjoy a little quiet, to
be free from the persecutions of this unreasonable man, and that he
will let me manage my own little fortune to the best advantage; for
which I will undertake to pay him a considerable pension every year,
much more considerable than what he now gets by his oppressions; for he
must needs find himself a loser at last, when he hath drained me and my
tenants so dry, that we shall not have a penny for him or ourselves.
There is one imposition of his, I had almost forgot, which I think
unsufferable, and will appeal to you or any reasonable person, whether
it be so or not. I told you before, that by an old compact we agreed to
have the same steward, at which time I consented likewise to regulate
my family and estate by the same method with him, which he then shewed
me writ down in form, and I approved of.[76] Now, the turn he thinks
fit to give this compact of ours is very extraordinary; for he pretends
that whatever orders he shall think fit to prescribe for the future in
his family, he may, if he will, compel mine to observe them, without
asking my advice, or hearing my reasons. So that, I must not make a
lease without his consent, or give any directions for the
well-governing of my family, but what he countermands whenever he
pleaseth. This leaveth me at such confusion and uncertainty, that my
servants know not when to obey me, and my tenants, although many of
them be very well inclined, seem quite at a loss.
But I am too tedious upon this melancholy subject, which however, I
hope, you will forgive, since the happiness of my whole life dependeth
upon it. I desire you will think a while, and give your best advice
what measures I shall take with prudence, justice, courage, and honour,
to protect my liberty and fortune against the hardships and severities
I lie under from that unkind, inconstant man.