The Humble Petition of the Footmen in and about the City of
Dublin.
Humbly Sheweth,
That your Petitioners are a great and numerous society, endowed with
several privileges, time out of mind.
That certain lewd, idle, and disorderly persons, for several months
past, as it is notoriously known, have been daily seen in the public
walks of this City, habited sometimes in green coats, and sometimes in
laced, with long oaken cudgels in their hands, and without swords, in
hopes to procure favour, by that advantage, with a great number of
ladies who frequent those walks, pretending and giving themselves out
to be true genuine Irish footmen. Whereas they can be proved to be no
better than common toupees,[182] as a judicious eye may soon discover
by their awkward, clumsy, ungenteel gait and behaviour, by their
unskilfulness in dress, even with the advantage of wearing our habits,
by their ill-favoured countenances, with an air of impudence and
dulness peculiar to the rest of their brethren; who have not yet
arrived at that transcendent pitch of assurance. Although, it may be
justly apprehended, that they will do so in time, if these counterfeits
shall happen to succeed in their evil design, of passing for real
footmen, thereby to render themselves more amiable to the ladies.
Your petitioners do further allege, that many of the said
counterfeits, upon a strict examination, have been found in the very
act of strutting, swearing, staring, swaggering, in a manner that
plainly shewed their best endeavours to imitate us. Wherein, although
they did not succeed, yet by their ignorant and ungainly way of copying
our graces, the utmost indignity was endeavoured to be cast upon our
whole profession.
Your Petitioners do therefore make it their humble request, that
this Honourable House, (to many of whom your Petitioners are nearly
allied) will please to take this grievance into your most serious
consideration: Humbly submitting, whether it would not be proper, that
certain officers might, at the public charge, be employed to search
for, and discover all such counterfeit footmen, and carry them before
the next Justice of Peace; by whose warrant, upon the first conviction,
they should be stripped of their coats, and oaken ornaments, and be set
two hours in the stocks. Upon the second conviction, besides stripping,
be set six hours in the stocks, with a paper pinned on their breast
signifying their crime, in large capital letters, and in the following
words. “A. B. commonly called A. B. Esq.; a toupee, and a notorious
impostor, who presumed to personate a true Irish footman.”
And for any further offence the said toupee shall be committed to
Bridewell, whipped three times, forced to hard labour for a month, and
not be set at liberty, till he shall have given sufficient security for
his good behaviour.
Your Honours will please to observe with what lenity we propose to
treat these enormous offenders, who have already brought such a scandal
on our honourable calling, that several well-meaning people have
mistaken them to be of our Fraternity; in diminution to that credit and
dignity wherewith we have supported our station, as we always did, in
the worst of times.[183] And we further beg leave to remark,
that this was manifestly done with a seditious design, to render us
less capable of serving the public in any great employments, as several
of our Fraternity, as well as our ancestors have done.
We do therefore humbly implore your Honours, to give necessary
orders for our relief, in this present exigency, and your Petitioners
(as in duty bound) shall ever pray, &c.
Dublin, 1733.