44

dark tunnel of rock. Immediately inside there was a sharp curve, and the reverberations were deafening.

A huge shark with shining green scales passed, almost brush-ing their heads, and Kiyoko ducked away. As she clung to her young husband he gave her a kiss. After the shark had passed, the car ground round a curve in pitch darkness again, but his lips landed unerringly on hers, little fish speared in the dark.

The little fish jumped and were still.

The darkness made Kiyoko strangely shy. Only the violent shaking and grinding sustained her. As she slipped deep into the tunnel, her husband's arms around her, she felt naked and flushed crimson. The darkness, dense and impenetrable, had a strength that seemed to render clothes useless. She thought of a dark shed she had secretly played in as a child.

Like a flower springing from the darkness, a red beam of light flashed at them, and Kiyoko cried out once more. It was the wide, gaping mouth of a big angler fish on the ocean floor.

Around it, coral fought with the poisonous dark green of seaweed.

Kenzd put his cheek to his wife's - she was still clinging to him - and with the fingers of the arm around her shoulders played with her hair. Compared to the motion of the car the motion of the fingers was slow and deliberate. She knew that he was enjoying the show and enjoying her fright at it as well.

'Will it be over soon? I'm afraid.' But her voice was drowned out in the roar.

Once again they were in darkness. Though frightened, Kiyoko had her store of courage. Kenzo's arms were around her, and there was no fright and no shame she could not bear.

Because hope had never left them, the state of happiness was for the two of them just such a state of tension.

A big, muddy octopus appeared before them. Once again Kiyoko cried out. Kenzo promptly kissed the nape of her neck. The great tentacles of the octopus filled the cave, and a fierce lightning darted from its eyes.

At the next curve a drowned corpse was standing discon-solately in a seaweed forest.

Finally the light at the far end began to show, the car slowed 45

down, and they were liberated from the unpleasant noise: At the bright platform the uniformed attendant waited to catch the forward handle of the car.

'Is that all?'asked Kenzo.

The man said that it was.

Arching her back, Kiyoko climbed to the platform and whispered in Kenzo's ear: 'It makes you feel like a fool, paying forty yen for that.'

At the door they compared their biscuits. Kiyoko had two-thirds left, and Kenzo more than half.

'Just as big as when we came in,' said Kenzo. 'It was so full of thrills that we didn't have time to eat.'

'If you think about it that way, it doesn't seem so bad after all.' Kenzo's eyes were already on the gaudy sign by another door. Electric decorations danced around the word 'Magicland', and green and red lights flashed on and off in the startled eyes of a cluster of dwarfs, their domino costumes shining in gold and silver dust. A bit shy about suggesting immediately that they go in, Kenzo leaned against the wall and munched away at his biscuit.

'Remember how we crossed the parking lot? The light brought out our shadows on the ground, maybe two feet apart, and a funny idea came to me. I thought to myself how it would be if a little boy's shadow bobbed up and we took it by the hand.

And just then a shadow really did break away from ours and come between them.'

'No!'

'Then I looked round, and it was someone behind us. A couple of drivers were playing catch, and one of them had dropped the ball and run after it.'

'One of these days we really will be out walking, three of us.' 'And we'll bring it here.' Kenzo motioned towards the sign.

'And so we ought to go in and have a look at it first.'

Kiyoko said nothing this time as he started for the ticket window.

Possibly because it was a bad time of the day, Magicland was 46

not popular. On both sides of the path as they entered there were flashing banks of artificial flowers. A music box was playing. 'When we build our house this is the way we'll have the path.'

'But it's in very bad taste,' objected Kiyoko.

How would it feel to go into a house of your own? A building fund had not yet appeared in the plans of the two, but in due course it would. Things they scarcely dreamed of would one day appear in the most natural way imaginable. Usually so prudent, they let their dreams run on this evening, perhaps, as Kiyoko said, because the million-yen biscuits had gone to their heads.

Great artificial butterflies were taking honey from the artificial flowers. Some were as big as brief-cases, and there were yellow and black spots on their translucent red wings.

Tiny bulbs flashed on and off in their protuberant eyes. In the light from below, a soft aura as of sunset in a mist bathed the plastic flowers and grasses. It may have been dust rising from the floor.

The first room they came to, following the arrow, was the leaning room. The floor and all the furnishings leaned so that when one entered upright there was a grating, discordant note to the room.

'Not the sort of house I'd want to live in,' said Kenzo, bracing himself against a table on which there were yellow wooden tulips. The words were like a command. He was not himself aware of it, but his decisiveness was that of the privileged one whose hope and well-being refuse to admit outsiders. It was not strange that in the hope there was a scorn for the hopes of others and that no one was allowed to lay a finger on the well-being.

Braced against the leaning table, the determined figure in the undershirt made Kiyoko smile. It was a very domestic scene.

Kenzo was like an outraged young man who, having built an extra room on his Sundays, had made a mistake somewhere and ended up with the windows and floors all askew.

'You could live in a place like this, though,' said Kiyoko.

47

Spreading her arms like a mechanical doll, she leaned forward as the room leaned, and her face approached Kenzo's broad left shoulder at the same angle as the wooden tulips.

His brow wrinkled in a serious young frown, Kenzo smiled.

He kissed the cheek that leaned towards him and bit roughly into his million-yen biscuit.

By the time they had emerged from the wobbly staircases, the shaking passageways, the log bridges from the railings of which monster heads protruded, and numerous other curious places as well, the heat was too much for them. Kenzd finished his own biscuit, took what was left of his wife's between his teeth, and set out in search of a cool evening breeze. Beyond a row of rocking-horses, a door led out to a balcony.

'What time is it?' asked Kiyoko.

'A quarter to nine. Let's go out and cool off till nine.'

'I'm thirsty. The biscuit was so dry.' She fanned at her perspiring white throat with Kenzo's sports shirt.

'In a minute you can have something to drink.'

The night breeze was cool on the wide balcony. Kenzo yawned a wide yawn and leaned against the railing beside his wife. Bare young arms caressed the black railing, wet with the night dew.

'It's much cooler than when we came in.'

'Don't be silly,' said Kenzo. 'It's just higher.'

Far below, the black machines of the outdoor amusement park seemed to slumber. The bare seats of the merry-go-round, slightly inclined, were exposed to the dew. Between the iron bars of the aerial observation car, suspended chairs swayed gently in the breeze.

The liveliness of the restaurant to the left was in complete contrast. They had a bird's-eye view into all the corners of the wide expanse inside its walls. Everything was there to look at, as if on a stage: the roofs of the separate cottages, the passages joining them, the ponds and brooks in the garden, the stone lanterns, the interiors of the Japanese rooms, some with serving maids whose kimono sleeves were held up by red cords, others with dancing geisha. The strings of lanterns at the eaves were beautiful, and their white lettering was beautiful too.

48

The wind carried away the noises of the place, and there was something almost mystically beautiful about it, congealed in delicate detail there at the bottom of the murky summer night.

'I'll bet it's expensive.' Kiyoko was once more at her favour-ite romantic topic.

'Naturally. Only a fool would go there.'

'I'll bet they say that cucumbers are a great delicacy, and they charge some fantastic price. How much?'

Two hundred, maybe.' Kenzo took his sports shirt and started to put it on.

Buttoning it for him, Kiyoko continued: 'They must think their customers are fools. Why, that's ten times what cucumbers are worth. You can get three of the very best for twenty yen.'

'Oh? They're getting cheap.'

The price started going down a week or so ago.'

It was five to nine. They went out to look for a stairway to the coffee shop on the third floor. Two of the biscuits had disappeared. The other was too large for Kiyoko's very large handbag, and protruded from the unfastened clasp.

The old lady, an impatient person, had arrived early and was waiting. The seats from which the loud jazz orchestra could best be seen were all taken, but there were vacant places where the bandstand was out of sight, beside the potted palm probably rented from some gardener. Sitting alone in a summer kimono, the old lady seemed wholly out of place.

She was a small woman not far past middle age, and she had the clean, well-tended face of the plebeian lowlands. She spoke briskly with many delicate gestures. She was proud of the fact that she got on so nicely with young people.

'You'll be treating me, of course, so I ordered something expensive while I was waiting.' Even as she spoke the tall glass arrived, pieces of fruit atop a parfait.

'Now that was generous of you. All we needed was soda water.'

Her outstretched little finger taut, the old lady plunged in with her spoon and skilfully brought out the cream beneath.

Meanwhile she was talking along at her usual brisk pace. 49

'It's nice that this pkice is so noisy and no one can hear us.

Tonight we go to Nakano - I think I mentioned it over the phone. An ordinary private house and - can you imagine it? -

the customers are housewives having a class reunion. There's not much that the rich ladies don't know about these days. And I imagine they walk around pretending the idea never entered their heads. Anyway, I told them about you, and they said they had to have you and no one else. They don't want someone who's all beaten up by the years, you know. And I must say that I can't blame them. So I asked a good stiff price and she said it was low and if they were pleased they'd give you a good tip.

They haven't any idea what the market rate is, of course. But I want you to do your best, now. I'm sure I don't need to tell you, but if they're pleased we'll get all sorts of rich customers. There aren't many that go as well together as you two do, of course, and I'm not worried, but don't do anything to make me

' ashamed of you. Well, anyhow, the woman of the house is the wife of some important person or other, and she'll be waiting for us at the coffee shop in front of Nakano station. You know what will happen next. She'll send the taxi through all sorts of back alleys to get us mixed up. I don't imagine shell blindfold us, but she'll pull us through the back door so we don't have a chance to read the sign on the gate. I won't like it any better than you will, but she has herself to consider, after all. Don't let it bother you. Me? Oh, I'll be doing the usual thing, keeping watch in the hall. I can bluff my way through, I don't care who comes in. Well, maybe we ought to get started. And let me say it again, I want a good performance from you.'

It was late in the night, and Kiyoko and Kenz5 had left the old lady and were back in Asakusa. They were even more exhausted than usual. Kenzo's wooden clogs dragged along the street. The billboards in the park were a poisonous black under the cloudy sky.

Simultaneously, they looked up at the New World. The neon pagoda was dark.

'What a rotten bunch. I don't thing I've ever seen such a rotten, stuck-up bunch,' said Kenzo.

50

Her eyes on the ground, Kiyoko did not answer.

'Well? Did you ever see a worse bunch of affected old women?'

'No. But what can you do? The pay was good.'

'Playing around with money they pry from their husbands.

Don't get to be that way when you have money.'

'Silly.' Kiyoko's smiling face was sharply white in the darkness.

'A really nasty bunch.' Kenzo spat in a strong white arc.

'How much?'

'This.' Kiyoko reached artlessly into her handbag and pulled out some notes.

'Five thousand? We've never made that much before. And the old woman took three thousand. Damn! I'd like to tear it up, that's what I'd like to do. That would really feel good.'

Kiyoko took the money back in some consternation. Her finger touched the last of the million-yen biscuits.

'Tear this up in its place,' she said softly.

Kenzd took the biscuit, wadded the cellophane wrapper, and threw it to the ground. It crackled sharply on the silent, deserted street. Too large for one hand, he took the biscuit in both hands and tried to break it. It was damp and soggy, and the sweet surface stuck to his hands. The more it bent the more it resisted.

He was in the end unable to break it.

Translated by Edward G. Seidensticker Thermos Flasks

Kawase, who had been in Los Angeles for six months on company business, could have gone directly back to Japan, but was staying in San Francisco for a few days. Looking over the San Francisco Chronicle in his hotel, he suddenly wanted to read something in Japanese and took out a letter that had come to Los Angeles from his wife.

'Shigeru seems to remember his father from time to time. For no reason at all, he will get a worried expression and say:

"Where's papa?" The thermos flask still works very well when he is bad. Your sister from Setagaya was here the other day and said that she had never heard of a child who was afraid of thermos flasks. Maybe because it's old, the thermos flask leaks air round the cork, even when you put it down very gently, and makes noises like some old man complaining to himself. Shigeru always decides to behave when he hears it. I'm sure he is more afraid of the thermos flask than of his indulgent father.'

When he had finished rereading the letter, by now almost memorized, Kawase had nothing else to do. It was a bright October day, but all the lights were on in the lobby, which was most depressing. Old people, dressed in their best despite the earliness of the hour, made limp motions like waving seaweed.

The monocle of one old man caught the light as he read his newspaper in a deep armchair.

Weaving through the many-colourecl luggage of what appeared to be a party of tourists, Kawase left his key at the desk

- it was busy as always - and pushed open the heavy glass door.

He crossed Geary Street in the blinding autumn sunlight and turned down Powell Street, with its coffee shops and gift shops and cheap night clubs, and a sea-food restaurant that had the 52

prow of a clipper at the door. From far away he picked out a figure coming towards him.

Despite the distance, he knew immediately that it was a Japanese woman, not second or third generation, but native Japanese. It was not that she wore Japanese dress. Carefully imitating the conservative dress of the city, she had on a hat, a pearl necklace, and a good silver-mink coat. Yet her powdered face was a trifle too white, and though there were no obvious flaws in her dress, her determined walk had something unnatural about it. As a result the child whose hand she held was half-dangling in the air. _

'Well!' The exclamation was so loud that people turned to look, and the pointed toes of the high-heeled shoes darted at him in tiny steps. 'I recognized you right away. You can always tell a Japanese, even from the distance. You walk as if you ought to have a pair of swords in your belt.'

'And what do you think you look like?' Kawase too forgot the greetings one exchanges with an acquaintance not seen for a very long time. It was as if the distance between past and present, usually so precise, had shrunk a few inches.

He blamed the shrinkage on the foreign country. The Japanese system of measuring had gone askew. There were times when a sudden encounter abroad produced effusions that were cause for later regret, for the distance could not be forced back to normal afterwards. The difficulty was not limited to relations between men and women. Kawase had had the experience with other men, and men who were not particularly close friends.

It was more than evident that the woman had undergone rigorous training this last year or two in how to wear Western clothes and Western cosmetics. The results were considerable, but the uneasiness of the new arrival showed in the way she applied face powder. Western women think nothing of opening their compacts in public and scattering powder about, and yet there is a certain casualness in the results, with bare spots left showing beside the nose. There was nothing casual about this woman's make-up.

As they stood talking, they first explained what had brought them here.

53

The exporter who was her patron came frequently to the United States, and he had sent her on an inspection trip >pre-paratory to opening a new sort of Japanese restaurant in" San Francisco. She would probably become the manager, but it was not as if her patron were exiling an unwanted mistress. Rather she felt as she might if he were to open an inn for her in Atami or some other resort near Tokyo. He was an entrepreneur on the heroic scale.

The child was growing impatient.

'Let's have a cup of tea.' The woman spoke quite as if they were walking down the Ginza together. Kawase agreed, since he had nothing else to do, but he did not know what to call her.

Asaka or Faint Perfume, her professional name as a geisha some five years before, would scarcely do.

2 The coffee shop was not of the elaborate sort they might have found on the Ginza. A noisy dining-room for short orders, a long counter winding around the centre, a noisy shop selling tobacco and gifts, and nothing more. Kawase lifted the little girl to a stool at the counter. It was the natural arrangement to put her between them and talk over her head. She was a silent child, and her weight and warmth left a sort of faint, pleasant recollection in the muscles of Kawase's arms.

There were no other Orientals in the place. The stainless steel round the service window clouded with steam and quickly cleared again, reflecting the white aprons of the waitresses.

They were all middle-aged women heavily made up. Though they exchanged brief greetings with regular customers they were not quick to smile.

'Clark Gable's wife is in San Francisco,' said the blonde woman on Kawase's left. 'I met her at a party.'

'Oh? She must be getting along in years.'

Turning half an ear on the conversation, Asaka took off her coat and bundled it around her hips. Only at the nape of the neck, which she no longer needed to worry about as she had as a geisha, did she show the easy negligence of the professional 54

woman turned amateur again. She wore her hair up, and Kawase was startled at how dark the skin was.

'They aren't very friendly but they do work hard,' said Asaka in a loud voice, motioning to the waitresses with her eyes.

KaWase was pleased to see in the roving eyes how enthusiasm for her new work took in everything around her. She had always been beautiful, he thought, when he had been able to look at her as if he were watching a distant fire.

Delighted at being able to speak Japanese, Asaka chattered on about the preparations for her trip to the United States. First she had learned English from her patron. She had quite given up Japanese music, both old and popular, and devoted all of her spare time to linguaphone records. She had adopted Western clothes, which she had earlier worn only in the worst of the summer heat, and she had made daily trips to an expensive seamstress. She had asked her patron for advice and instruction on all the colours and designs. It appeared that the patron was not a man to make a clear distinction between lechery and education, and he could not have had better material than Asaka for building a woman to his taste. She may have danced the mambo in kimono in night clubs, but never before, it would seem, had a man so assiduously instructed her in 'the West'.

And never before had a man found a woman who responded more favourably.

Their orders came as she was finishing the long story. With a stiff, perfunctory smile, the waitress slammed a vanilla milk shake before the wide-eyed little girl. The glass must have held all of a pint.

'My name is Hamako,' said Asaka, rather belatedly introducing her daughter. 'How do you do.' She put her hand to the child's head and urged her to bow. Hamako declined to do so, however. Instead she knelt on the stool and concentrated on the straw. She was too small to reach it sitting down.

It pleased Kawase that the child was not one for ceremony.

Her features were good, resembling those of her mother, and her profile, as she sucked at the straw and brushed away hair with her outspread hand, was very pretty. She was quiet, leaving conversation to her elders.

55

'People are always asking how I could have produced such a quiet child.' But immediately Aska returned to more adult topics.

The shop was filled with a peculiarly American odour, half the hygienic smell of medicines, half the sweet, clinging odour of bodies. The customers were almost all women, middle-aged or older, with proud eyes and heavily painted hps, attacking large sweets and open sandwiches. Despite the noise and bustle of the store, there was something very lonely about the individual women and their appetites. Sad, lonely, like a performance by so many consuming machines.

'I want a ride on the cable car,' said Hamako, who had half emptied her glass.

That's what she wants every day. And we can perfectly well afford a taxi.'

'Oh, the richest tourists ride on the cable car. You won't be lowering yourself.'

'Is that sarcasm? But I'm not surprised. You were something of a needier in the old days.'

It was Asaka's first mention of 'the old days'.

'Well, I'll take you for a ride on the cable car if your mother won't.' Kawase slipped a quarter under the saucer and picked up the bill. He shook his head. He did not have a headache, but now that he was on the way home, all the weariness of travel seemed to collect in one place. He thought that a cable-car ride might clear it away.

Preparatory to helping Hamako down, Asaka squirmed back into her mink coat. Kawase helped her.

'I'm always forgetting. The gentleman is supposed to help.

I'm not used to such kindness.'

'You'll have to learn to be more arrogant.'

To be more dignified.'

Asaka sat up on the stool and arched her back. The young swelling of her suit coat was such as to arouse the envy of the women around the counter. Kawase remembered how in the old days he would stand behind her as she arched her back just so, and help tie her obi. Compared to the stiff, clean austerity of the obi, the softness of the mink coat seemed to evade the grasp.

56

A strange simile came into Kawase's mind: it was as if the great, vermilion-lacquered, black-riveted gate of some noble lady's mansion were suddenly to change into a slick revolving door.

3 They avoided talk of the old days, like a pair weaving in and out among puddles after a rainstorm, so deftly that neither of than found the process awkward. For talk of the present, they had only San Francisco. They were two travellers who had no other life.

The more he looked at her the more he could see behind her Western elegance the influence of that educator, her patron.

The Asaka of old was something of an expert on the Japanese dance, and she would naturally fall into dance poses, her delicate fingers in a formal pattern, when she brought her hand to her mouth to laugh or was frightened or heard something she would rather not have heard. Now everything was changed. Yet she had not really acquired Western elegance in place of the old Japanese elegance. Her movements were remarkably angular.

Kawase could imagine how unceasing had been her patron's labours in correcting all those little mannerisms. It was as if he had sent her off to America with his fingerprints on every part of her body. Only the too-white powder remained as a relic of the old days. Perhaps that was her one gesture of defiance, alone in a foreign country. As a matter of fact, however, it had once been much whiter.

As Asaka stood waiting for the cable car, the child's hand in hers, Kawase looked afresh at the mink coat and wondered where she would be keeping her little packet of paper handkerchiefs. In the old days she had always had a supply in her obi.

The paper made itself felt in many delicate ways when they spent the night together. Kawase was in the habit of dancing with his hand on the bow of the obi, and he would come on the warm swelling of the paper, and deliberately rustle it as they danced. A smile, intimate and wary of being seen, would come to her lips. Sometimes, seated languidly with her legs curled 57

beneath her, she would start to untie her obi, and there Would be a soft gesture as she first took out the paper and laid it on the tatami matting. A certain heaviness in the motion told of the dampness of late night in the rainy season. On such a night, Kawase would slip his hand into the bow of the obi, and it would be as warm and moist as the inside of a tight closet. Hie could scarcely imagine that when, later, the obi was untied it would give forth that clean, cool, silken sound. And then, as the first morning light came through the frosted-glass window of the inn, the paper on the floor would light up, and he would watch daybreak from the white square. Asaka never forgot to take out the paper when she undid her obi, but sometimes she would forget to put it back when they dressed the following morning. And sometimes when they were quarrelling, the paper would be there, a clear, white sign on the matting. As these memories passed through his mind, Kawase concluded that nowhere on the mink-coated figure was there room for that swelling packet. A little white window had been painted over.

The cable car came and the three got on. With a nostalgic clang of its bell and a noise like a chest of drawers - such, too, the old streetcars of Tokyo had been - the cable car began to push its way industriously up Powell Street.

The rear half of the car was an ordinary closed trolley, but the front half had an open roof with benches, pillars, and standing-room on both sides of the motorman, who was grandly manipulating two long iron handles.

The old-fashioned car delighted Hamako. The three sat on one of the benches and watched windows slide down the hill before them. 'Isn't it fun,' said Hamako time after time. 'Isn't it fun.'

'Isn't it,' said Asaka, half to Kawase. It was as if the remark were to conceal the pleasure she felt herself. He sensed in the exchange her comradely way of making it appear that they were no ordinary, respectable mother and child.

At the top of the hill they got off the car and, since they had no business there, took another car down. The steep descent was even more interesting. Five or six middle-aged women, apparently tourists, shrieked and squealed as if they were in an 58

amusement park, and looked round at the cool faces of native San Franciscans, seeking the reaction to their coquettishness.

They were large women with faint moustaches, in coats of red and green.

Back at the square from which they had started, Asaka politely took her leave. She had an appointment for lunch, she said, but would like to have dinner with Kawase if he was free.

Kawase took Hamako's hand and walked with them to his hotel, which was very near the square.

They stopped before a show window full of picnic things.

The picnic set, all in Scotch plaid, was quite blinding, but the contrast with the artificial grass was very pleasant. The arrangement was done with careful casualness. It could have been left scattered by picnickers who had gone down to the river to wash their hands, and whose bright laughter came back up from the river.

'You'd never find a set like this in Japan,' said Asaka, her nose almost against the glass. It occurred to Kawase that she had probably gone through childhood with no knowledge of picnics. Sometimes she showed an intense longing for childish things. Once he had been unable to pry her from a window full of festival dolls. Either her patron, so intent on educating her in the Western way, had not noticed this side of her nature, or he was ignoring it. Kawase felt confident in his own perceptiveness.

Lost in the display, Asaka seemed to forget his presence.

Suddenly she pointed at a thermos flask covered with Scotch plaid.

'Hamako. You're a big girl now, and you aren't afraid of that any more, are you?'

'No.'

'But you still remember the days when you were?'

'No.'

'There she is, answering just like a grown-up.' Asaka smiled as if, for the first time, to seek Kawase's assent. Kawase had been looking at the bright sunlight on the pavement, and the smiling face turned towards him seemed to mix with the brilliant white after-image like some weird, luminous mask 59

floating in the air. He had only been half listening to the exchange, but he felt a painful knot in his chest. A moment later he saw that he must pretend not to understand a conversation that an outsider would not understand.

'What are you talking about?' he asked, trying to make the matter seem trivial.

'Nothing, really. But from the time she was about a year and a half old she was terrified of thermos flasks. If there's tea inside, it makes a funny bubbling noise round the cork, and she was terrified of that noise. When she wouldn't obey, I'd bring a thermos flask and threaten her with it. Not that I have to any more.'

'Children pick strange things to be afraid of.'

Asaka went on quite as if she were describing the child's unusual talents. 'But who ever heard of a child that was afraid of thermos flasks? Her grandmother had a good laugh over it.

She said that Hamako would probably have a stroke if she grew up and the president of some thermos-flask company proposed to her.'

4 Asaka came by herself that evening. She had hired a Negro baby sitter at the hotel, and Hamako had taken remarkably well to the girl.

They had raw oysters and a crab saute at a French restaurant called the Old Poodle Dog and finished in a blaze of cherries jubilee.

Kawase had recovered from the jolt the thermos flask had given him. He told himself that he was a victim of silly illusions and blamed his altogether too lively imagination.

The sadness of his wife's letter came back to him, and for no reason at all he felt that his own wife and child were far sadder than Asaka and her child. It was a foolish, baseless notion, and yet he could not put it from his mind.

Borrowing the strength of alcohol, he tried to flee from the present by turning to the forbidden subject of the old days.