Glad I'm not better.
~aei
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Goodevening. Now that I have been finally settled for a couple
days, it feels weird to be in my grandparents' house when they
aren't there. It's really like something is missing, but I guess I
am getting used to it.

I have a midterm in around half a week or so and I can't study when
I'm out of town. It is cybersecurity so it's mostly common sense,
no? Just hope they don't make it as hard/vague as the practice
questions we got are.

I am not really the best person, like obviously we all are flawed
in some way or another that's called being human, and because we
are visiting relatives on this holiday it's common to bring up
other people, and very common for my dad to give me these looks
when gifted people are brought up that's like "why aren't you like
them?" and it's not in the joke-y manner a pareny usually does,
it's just a look of disappointment.

A common thing I have noticed with these people is that their life
is actually just worse, I am fairly sure having your brain
programmed to do one thing and only one thing is not a healthy
thing and I am glad people are starting to notice that 6 year olds
doing really big and great things are usually less because of luck
and genetics and more of shitty parenting and some forms of abuse
being involved.

Being programmed to just study and get good grades really sucked, I
genuinely didn't know what to tell my classmates. "I was just
good", that's not how the world works. "I like doing it", I really
didn't that was just a lie. "My parents make me", this would be
embarassing and no one would really take it lightly.

My academic record has dipped significantly ever since I realized
life is a lot more than studying and grades, sure I will work for
my degree that's something I do want to do but life is a lot more
than that.

I'm not sure how life would have went if I didn't realize that. I
probably would have never been here. I probably would have just
used computers just to look better. It's scary to think about
honestly.

Anyways, wow... it has been raining a lot recently.
Like... 4 days straight? It did make the intercity highway a tough
4ish hour drive.

Also, I probably have autism. I honestly did not know exactly what
it is but now that some people talked to me about it, I'll look for
a medical diagnosis soon enough. I already need a physical check
anyways so why not get this one aswell.

No pictures today, sky was pretty dark these past couple days :<