_______ _
|__ __| | July 20, 1997
| | | |__ ___ Sunday
| | | '_ \ / _ \
.-. _ ______ | | | | | | __/ ____
( `. .' ) | ____| |_| |_| |_|\___| | _ \
`\ ` .' | |__ _ _ _ __ _ __ _ _ | |_) | ___ _ __ ___
| | | __| | | | '_ \| '_ \| | | | | _ < / _ \| '_ \ / _ \
| | | | | |_| | | | | | | | |_| | | |_) | (_) | | | | __/
| 66|_ |_| \__,_|_| |_|_| |_|\__, | |____/ \___/|_| |_|\___|
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| | ___ *
| | #hotsex on IRC ~* .'` _\
.' \ / (o/
( , ) Online computer users often engage * | _\ *
'--' '-' in what is affectionately known as \ '==.
"cybersex". Often the fantasies * '.____\
typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone *
lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, ~*
one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript
of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of \O
cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does... * |\
_ _ /|
~0 (_| . - ' - . _ . - ' - . _ . - ' - . |_) O |____\|___|
|(_~|^~~| |~~^|~_)| |`'-.:.-'`|
TT/_ T"T T"T _\HH |_.-':'-._|
jgs^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ O|----:----|
/_|`'-.:.-'`|
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? \/|_.-':'-._|
\|----:----|
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt |`'-.:.-'`|
and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and |_.-':'-._|
perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look |----:----|
like? |`'-.:.-'`|
|_.-':'-._|
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses |----:----|
and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought |`'-.:.-'`|
from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots |_.-':'-._|
of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny. |----:----|
|`'-.:.-'`|
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me? O|_.-':'-._|
/_|----:----|
( Wellhung: OK \/|`'-.:.-'`|
(,) \|_.-':'-._|
|~~'~~| Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's |----:----|
| | soft music playing on the stereo and |`'-.:.-'`|
.--|_____|--. candles on my dresser and night table. |_.-':'-._|
'.___________.' I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. |----:----|
My hand works its way down to your |`'-.:.-'`|
_, crotch and begins to fondle your huge, |_.-':'-._|
.-'_| , swelling bulge. |----:----|
_| (_| _|\ .-. |`'-.:.-'`|
(_| (_| Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm ( : ) |_.-':'-._|
beginning to sweat. '-' |----:----|
.-. |`'-.:.-'`|
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and ( : ) |_.-':'-._|
kissing your chest. '-' |----:----|
.-. |`'-.:.-'`|
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. ( : ) |_.-':'-._|
My hands are trembling. '-' |----:----|
|`'-.:.-'`|
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly. |_.-':'-._|
|----:----|
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it |`'-.:.-'`|
off slowly. |_.-':'-._|
|----:----|
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The |`'-.:.-'`|
cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your O|_.-':'-._|
bulge faster, pulling and rubbing. /_|----:----|
\/|`'-.:.-'`|
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and acci- \|_.-':'-._|
dentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry. |----:----|
|`'-.:.-'`|
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive. |_.-':'-._|
|----:----|
Wellhung: I'll pay for it. )\_ _/( |`'-.:.-'`|
--=(__/^\__)==- |_.-':'-._|
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. |----:----|
I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising |`'-.:.-'`|
and falling, as I breath harder and harder. |_.-':'-._|
___ ___ |----:----|
/ _ \ _.-'_.' Wellhung: I'm fumbling with |`'-.:.-'`|
\____`-.____.-'_.-' the clasp on your bra. I |_.-':'-._|
`-. . \.-' think it's stuck. Do you have |----:----|
____.-'`__/-._ any scissors? |`'-.:.-'`|
/ _ .-'` '-._`-._ |_.-':'-._|
\___/ '-._'-. Sweetheart: I take your hand |----:----|
`"` and kiss it softly. I'm reach- |`'-.:.-'`|
ing back undoing the clasp. |_.-':'-._|
The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. |----:----|
My nipples are erect for you. |`'-.:.-'`|
|_.-':'-._|
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and |----:----|
inspecting the clasp. |`'-.:.-'`|
|_.-':'-._|
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to |----:----|
feel your tongue all over me. |`'-.:.-'`|
|_.-':'-._|
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you |----:----|
know, breasts. They're neat! |`'-.:.-'`|
|_.-':'-._|
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now |----:----|
I'm nibbling your ear. |`'-.:.-'`|
|_.-':'-._|
\\\\\\// Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts |----:----|
\\\ \ are covered with spit and phlegm. O|`'-.:.-'`|
\\ '-. O|_.-':'-._|
Sweetheart: No, never mind. / \V/ \ /_|----:----|
I'm getting dressed. I'm putting | , : , | \/|`'-.:.-'`|
on my underwear. Now I'm putting | |\ : /| | \|_.-':'-._|
on my wet nasty blouse. | ||__:__|| | |----:----|
\_/ \_/ |`'-.:.-'`|
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squint- ~ ~ |_.-':'-._|
ing, trying to find the night table. |----:----|
I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair |`'-.:.-'`|
spray, picture frames and your candles. ,___ ,__ |_.-':'-._|
) `\ `\ |----:----|
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. ( _ '-._'-._ |`'-.:.-'`|
Now I'm putting on my shoes. )_( \____)___) |_.-':'-._|
|----:----|
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My |`'-.:.-'`|
God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain |_.-':'-._|
is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face. |----:----|
|`'-.:.-'`|
( Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging |_.-':'-._|
__________ )\ off, you loser! |----:----|
/ /\{,} |`'-.:.-'`|
\_________\/`'` Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! |_.-':'-._|
Oh noooo! |----:----|
( . ) |_.-':'-._|
) ( ) O|----:----|
. ' . ' . ' . /_|`'-.:.-'`|
( , ) (. ) ( ', ) \/|_.-':'-._|
.' ) ( . ) , ( , ) ( . \|----:----|
). , ( . ( ) ( , ') .' ( , ) |`'-.:.-'`|
(_,) . ), ) _) _,') (, ) '. ) ,. (' ) |_.-':'-._|
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ |----:----|
Sweetheart: |`'-.:.-'`|
_ _ |_.-':'-._|
(_| . - ' - . _ . - ' - . _ . - ' - . |_) O |----:----|
| |^~~| |~~^|~_)| |`'-.:.-'`|
TT T"T T"T _\HH |_.-':'-._|
jgs^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ |----:----|
_ _ |`'-.:.-'`|
(_'-----------------------------------------------'_) |_.-':'-._|
(_.===============================================._) |----:----|
|`'-.:.-'`|
, A man showed some friends his apart- |_.-':'-._|
/( ___________ ment. One guest asked "What's that |----:----|
| >:===========` big brass basin for?" "That's the |`'-.:.-'`|
)( talking clock," answered the man. He |_.-':'-._|
"" jgs gave it an ear shattering pound with |----:----|
a hammer. Suddenly, a voice on the |`'-.:.-'`|
other side of the wall screamed, "Knock it off, it's O|_.-':'-._|
2 a.m., you idiot!" /_|----:----|
_ _ \/|`'-.:.-'`|
(_'-----------------------------------------------'_) \|_.-':'-._|
(_.===============================================._) |----:----|
|`'-.:.-'`|
Did you hear that many years ago, Italy almost beat the |_.-':'-._|
U.S. to the moon....... but they ran out of scaffolding. |----:----|
_ .-.
John Nunley ( `. .' )
`. ` /'
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