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                    ::::                               ::::

 
 
          Through my vast experience of reading and collecting
                    a: Needed to write a phile to attempt to please
          Since we're not all geeky assholes who write fony philes,
     A Real G-Phile Author....
                    - Uses 80 columns with lower case
                    - Includes a title
                    - Takes credit for his files by signing his name
                    - Doesn't advertise a BBS unless it's his own
                    - Doesn't waste disk space on a file written on a
                    - Doesn't plagarize from his friends' favorite
                    - Has a personality
                    - Doesn't mind abusing the hell out of geeks
                    - Uses abusive language when it's fucking
                    - Doesn't make spelling mistakes!
                    - Researches the topic of interest
                    - Explains the topic in depth
                    - Idolizes the author of this model file
                    - Makes full use of The World of ASCII Art
                                 `'
                    - Doesn't abuse The World of ASCII Art
                    - Doesn't use ascii art if he obviously has
                    - Keeps his phile exclusive to a few select BBS's
                    - Has already written numerous files
                    - Makes use of CHR$(13) to increase the file's
                    - Doesn't use CHR$(13) to make the file longer
                    - Doesn't advertise the hosting BBS in a file in
                    - Personally tests his ideas
                    - Writes philes even if he has been forgotten by
                    - Always gives credit where credit is due
          ...But since I already have enough enemies, I won't name the
                                         --] Man-Tooth [--
 


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 Another file downloaded from:                               NIRVANAnet(tm)

 & the Temple of the Screaming Electron   Jeff Hunter          510-935-5845
 Rat Head                                 Ratsnatcher          510-524-3649
 Burn This Flag                           Zardoz               408-363-9766
 realitycheck                             Poindexter Fortran   415-567-7043
 Lies Unlimited                           Mick Freen           415-583-4102

   Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
       arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
       insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.

  Full access for first-time callers.  We don't want to know who you are,
   where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.

                          "Raw Data for Raw Nerves"

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