Names
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I have complicated feelings about names. I often
feel like my personhood is indefinable as any
kind of solid thing.

Most people know me as "Clarissa" but in my
internal monologue my names are "Clarissa",
"Caylee", "Claire", and even "William" among
others.

Okay so a few words about that last one: like I
wrote about in my experience of dysphoria I feel
most like a woman when I feel like I'm a woman
in a way that isn't parseable as cis
womanhood. I've been blending (I hate the phrase
passing) as cis since, what, three months on
estrogen? But I'm most comfortable in
womanhood when wearing men's clothes and going
by William.

I don't know if there are other trans people who
get what I mean. Hopefully? I feel like I sound
so weird when I try to explain these things.