fragmentation
=============
It's funny there's this whole aspect of
"plurality" that feels like it should apply
to me and yet doesn't.

I tend to use the word fragmentation to
describe my experience instead.

People talking about being systems with
distinct personas capable of communicating
with each other and I have definitely never
had that.

At the same time I've very strongly had the
experience that the I of today is not the I
of yesterday or maybe even the I of five
minutes ago, and yet in every moment there is
an I with its own striation of memories and
traits available at any given time, and yet
the I is the I is the us.

The multitudinous fragmented Is share some
common ground but aren't the same gender or
sexuality and don't even recognize the same
subset of names the we uses and yet and yet
the I is the I is the I, never without sense
of being the whole and yet only a diminished
part of that which is.

As the song goes "we pretend that this
collection has a name and is a being"

I don't know where I'm going with this if I'm
going anywhere at all beyond musing on the
strangeness of consciousness when one has
seen beyond the seams that stitch illusions
of solidity together, like frames of a film
going by fast enough they have the illusion
of continuity.