I think I hate this job
-----------------------

I've been hanging on in this position for awhile
because

a) it felt like it was the best way to open up
   opportunities
b) as I've said, it's hard for me to conceive of
   getting anything better

but I think I'm getting to a point where I can't
stand working with my boss anymore. The best way I
can explain it is that he treats me like The
Help. He gets upset when I don't respond to texts
or calls no matter when he sends them. I've gotten
really sick of his annoyance with me sounding
flustered when he calls me out of nowhere.

A lot of what's been happening over the last year
is that I keep getting saddled with more
responsibility without authority. Once, ONCE, I
actually made plans about future programming
with our closest partners without him, which he has
repeatedly told me I have the authority to do,
then went to him and presented the plan and he
still hasn't forgiven me for it. I'm not being
dramatic. He brings it up every time we talk and
talks about how I've been "offputting" and
"hurtful". Hell, he stopped just short of accusing
me of gaslighting him. He also keeps using the
weirdest social-justice tinged language to talk
about it: he justifies his behavior by saying he's
"feeling very tender" or things like that.

He drove the only other regular employee away, the
person who handled the scheduling and payroll
stuff, and he's dumped it all on me in a big
speech about how by putting this on me he's
actually giving me the real power in the
organization.

I can't even so much as buy a ream of paper and
have no ability to even look at the organization's
bank account but, yes, I have the real power.

For the record, I've asked to be able to access the
bank account so there's someone else who can make
purchases when he's not available. I've been told
I can't, for accountability purposes.

No, I don't get it either.

I'm just tired of being talked down to. He's the
kind of guy who gets very weird and defensive over
the smallest things, like the time he accused me
and my now-quite coworker of both having
simultaneous internet problems rather than
admitting he had moved too far from his wifi
router when he was outside smoking. If he can't
follow what you're saying instead of asking
questions he'll just accuse you of "not being high
level enough" and start being insulting about how
you're not as smart as him.

He talks big about fairness and not exploiting
people's time but still plays the standard
non-profit game of "oh writing materials for a
class only take five, ten hours right? no, it
really should, you just need to be more agile and
scrappy". When I was first hired as both a teacher
and curriculum dev he secretly was paying me only
a dollar above minimum wage, significantly less
than my coworkers, and he didn't tell me. I had to
figure that out later.

I just am feeling very tired and unsupported and
unappreciated. I'm just tired of other people
making me feel worthless.

I want to stop now.