# Little trip, finishing my book, workaholism relapse
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rawtext.club:70/~xiu
2023-09-03
Boorloo/Perth, Western Australia
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As I type this, my partner is playing the new robot
souls game by From Software. It's funny listening to
a mysterious voice talk about a very serious
military project called "Project Ibis" because here
the nickname for ibis birds is "bin chicken" XD

Heaps has happened since my last update back in
June. Here's my attempt to round it all up and
hopefully not waffle too much:

# A short trip to an eco resort

We took a short trip to Tasmania to stay at an eco
resort. It was so lovely and so quiet. There was NO
WIFI and patchy mobile access, which meant all we
could do was enjoy the beautiful forest surrounds,
read books, play board games, eat the complimentary
snacks, and occasionally interact with other guests.

Coming home, re-immersing in the chaos and the faff,
made me think about what I enjoyed most, what I love
and want to work harder at, and what I need to work
on changing pronto.

# Creative crisis and finishing my book

I feel so much better about the creative crisis
thing[1] after reading BIRD BY BIRD by Anne Lamott.
It's an unexpectedly brilliant book that talks about
the mindset and emotional toil of writing. It helped
me contextualise my anxieties and get through the
final throes of this project I've been working on
for the last year and a half.

The writing group I joined a few months ago has been
invaluable in helping me understand what I do as a
writer, and helping me consolidate my knowledge and
experience by helping local SFF writers yet to
publish their first book.

So I have a novel that's on track to launch near the
end of this month. As soon as I received my proof
copy of the paperback, a weight just lifted off my
shoulders. I'm feeling connected to a local creative
community of peers, and comfortable with the choices
I've made for publishing and distribution. It's the
best I can do with what I've got, and that's gotta
be good enough ... for now.

# Workaholism relapse

For most of the year, I've been developing a
healthier approach to work to prevent future burnout
and recover from all the burnout debt I've
accumulated for much of my adult life.

After we got back from Tassie, I threw out the
playbook and began a several-week crunch to meet all
my deadlines. It was not good. I met the deadlines,
but with enough time to spare that I realistically
could have finished the work without stressing so
much, had I just trusted in the new system.

It has been very hard to shake the crunch mentality,
perhaps it's been so ingrained for so many years.
Would this be "falling off the wagon" in a
workaholic context? I must say: it sucks

BUT, on the bright side, it tells me my new system
can work.  Attempts to get back into it in the last
few days have yielded positive results.

# What next?

Once I work up the nerve, I'll approach local
bookstores about consignment. I plan to take some
time off at the end of September after the book
comes out, or maybe the whole of October idk. Just
to re-center, catch up on chores and house stuff,
planting new things in the garden, and stuff like
that.

[1] gopher://rawtext.club/0/~xiu/phlog/2023-04-02-crisis-of-creative-existence.txt