93 - Saw a piece of my truck.
joneworlds@mailbox.org

The  other day  I was  watching the  dwarfs again,
working away in their  hot-rod shop.  They've made
some  goofy new  creation out  of a  pickup truck.
It's not painted yet, and  so I notice it's my old
green F250!  I can tell from the dents by the fuel
cap.  I  wonder how  many times that  thing's been
wrecked and  re-made since last  I saw it  back in
the winter.  Now they  got some kind of mid-engine
layout going, with the body  of a Smart FourTwo in
front and  the bed  of my  truck behind.   Big mud
tires  all around,  and chrome  bumpers welded  at
angles onto  the sides  of it  all.  Looks  like a
giant grasshopper.

I  remember  back  some  years  when  I  got  that
truck. Beth and  the kids and I were  living in an
apartment in  a rickety old walk-up  building, and
it  was rough  times.  I'll  never forget  the hot
murderous  rage our  neighbors would  lay into  us
with.  I  know little  kids are noisy,  and little
kids with developmental problems  can be even more
so, but we were doing  the best we could.  We were
scared,  but we  couldn't  find  anyplace else  to
live.

That's when I  got this idea to  borrow some money
from my  dad, and  buy this  old truck  and camper
combo. We'd put  the kids into it as  soon as they
woke up in  the morning, and we'd  drive off. Park
it  someplace there  was a  playground, have  some
breakfast. Then maybe Beth or  I would go off to a
job, and  the other would  spend the day  with the
Evan and Tara in the  park. They'd have the camper
to come back to for naps, for toilet, for food, or
just  a   rest.   It's   weird  how   much  better
everybody's  emotional  regulation  can  be,  when
you're mostly  outside.  And  we'd all  meet there
together again at  the end of the  day for supper,
and  get  ready  for   bed.   Drive  back  to  the
apartment after  the kids  fall asleep,  and carry
them inside.   And that's how we'd  live every day
for  some  months,  just  to stay  away  from  our
neighbors.   I actually  thought  the camper  life
worked pretty good for us,  although I think I was
probably more into it than Beth was.

Anyways,  eventually  we  found  these  town-homes
here, and  settled down.  But we  hadn't been here
more  than  two  months  before  the  AVs  finally
tracked Beth  down. And it wasn't  two more months
after that, when the kids  and I happened upon the
ogre's  lair   while  walking  up  in   the  hills
behind. And  well, ever  since that day  I've been
here all on my own.

Maybe that's why it's  something to see that piece
of my truck.  All changed  and carved up as it is,
after  everything what's  happened as  time's gone
by. Aren't we all.