Kernels - joneworlds@mailbox.org ## Bowl 7 7. It was like looking at your finger that's been chopped off, lying there on the cutting board, but somehow without the pain. It's right there in front of you and it was part of you, and now it's not. I didn't react like I thought I would. 6. It still smells a bit inside that old drawer. Or maybe I just think it does. Could be it's just leftover guilt and shame, wafting up my nose. 5. You got to keep them in bags. The good ones, at least. You don't want the little creepers getting in there, and doing what they do. 4. When we went to see what was left, the hallway table was still standing. And you know, there was still a toy car waiting in the little basket on top, after all these years. I guess they never claimed that one. 3. Steve had what I thought was some helpful advice on how to handle feelings of frustration. But at our follow-up session the next week, he was all focused on how my cabin air filter needed replacement. Maybe driving into Speed-E-Loob isn't the best place to find therapy. 2. I avoid the wrecker yard after dark. That's when the zombie cars come out. They're usually green. 1. Leather? It's not even a problem; I'll find you a blue one, or even yellow. But I'm telling you clearly, right now: you keep the balloons out, understand? ## Bowl 6 10. I guess I got tired of always fixing it. You know, like when a thing is not working quite right, I would figure out some changes or whatever. But eventually I got to be like, "okay, for this piece, I'd rather give up the benefit of having it at all, rather than to always be fiddling with it." 9. How many cereal boxes did they go through to find that? By now it's all fairies and frogs, and so many scratches. That's why we never swept up the needles. 8. It won't take but a minute. I'm going to leave another jug by the downspout, just like I do every year. And that bag of dog shit by the door will probably still be there too, on the corner of the porch. 7. I can still remember it rolling up on its two wheels. And that weird old man was looking on at us from his window in the cottage across the field. Dark as it was, the moon lit up the snow all around, and I'll never forget the glittering. 6. The box was plain and said just "crackers", nothing else. That should have tipped her off right away that something was off. That, and the ankle-deep raspberry jam flowing down the isle; quite abnormal, quite unsettling. 5. It was a hand-painted sign that read, "SLOW KIDS". Of course it turned out to be a traffic warning, not an ad for a club. It was pretty embarrassing when we knocked on their door and asked to join. 4. An anoxic lake is still okay for swimming. But next year, let's remember to bring more pop tarts. And the trampoline repair kit, of course. 3. The helicopter dropped us off in a clearing in the forest about 500 kilometers north of Mount Engrin. That's wild and empty country. And so when we started seeing the painted flower pots hanging from the lower branches, it was pretty chilling. 2. I guess I like it because it seems tidy. Others call it "simple", but that's not what I see. I don't mind complicated if it's tidy. 1. Twenty six times she had tried to close that door, but the latch was too broken. I found her still there a few hours later, sitting outside on the crates. The knapsack was soaked through by then, and she was crying. ## Bowl 5 10. When the cord pulled the bucket off the counter, the beads went everywhere. Then the scattering began. We'd still find them here and there years later. 9. I've never seen him without that heavy cardboard box. I've never known what was in it and he never would say, so I didn't press him on it. But we ought to have known there'd be trouble on that day when he showed up without it. 8. I smelled something, and I saw something. It wasn't much, but I guessed it had to be another one of those coyotes. As it turned out, I was as wrong as could be. 7. We all agreed that he was not sane anymore. But even he could tell the difference between a bag of oranges and a bag of tricks on that morning when the fish arrived. And also he knew computers, and no machines are more rational than those. 6. They dressed up the tiny yard in the front. There were clay figurines smiling everywhere, and blown-glass balls, and lots and lots of flower pots. Some said they should have rather addressed the bigger problem, but I don't know about that. 5. It was so dry for so long, and the grass yellowed like it will. But when the rain finally came, it all just turned black. Except a few bits and blades here and there, amongst all the dead. 4. We'd spend that afternoon driving around, looking for someone to cut that glass. The sun baking the weeds in the curbs. That oil and grease smell, it never leaves those places. 3. The first thing I saw when I opened by eyes was that bottle of orange juice from the night before, standing in the center console. They were moving around in the front seat, still there, and just for a moment I felt so full of safety despite all else. I'll never forget that. 2. For their spirits to leave us in that ruin of revulsion, I knew no good would come of it. Now they'll never rest. They'll be following us until the end, until the earth turns sour. 1. Then she's saying that everyone is worthy of love and respect, that this is not in doubt. And that the problem is that most people have so little love and respect left to give, that they get choosy, and their baseline allowance for everyone drops to nothing. And so some people end up getting none at all, their soul starving to death. ## Bowl 4 10. Now these fence boards are finally mine, after all these years. And as I pried off those five, I so wanted to feel excited to see inside at last. But in the end it's just another Ford there in the long dry grass, all of it gone to seed and rust. -- 9. It's hard to see it get always smaller day by day, no matter how much more we make. I thought it was on its way. Could it be that it's tougher to lose ground than never to make it. -- 8. They're running out of time, but they won't let go. Have you been to the garage since last Tuesday? What goes on between those two unicorns may better be left unsaid. -- 7. At first, things were pretty good. It was fun, finding golf balls buried in the forest. But when the sanitizer and peanut butter ran out, that's when the wheels fell off. -- 6. It took a long time for us to walk to water's edge at the lowest tide. Even there, the now-still windmills seemed far off. White as ever, these massive monuments of both hope and despair will watch us wither away once again. -- 5. Jill saw the zombie stuck in the tree. She felt she couldn't just leave it there, but when she helped it down, it ate her brain all the same. It was still a zombie, after all. -- 4. Then his bag of marbles ripped open, and they all went rolling down into the blood puddle. I wanted to help, for a minute. But then the wagon pulled up, and that was a bigger problem. -- 3. I mean, I tried to glue it back together, but it's not working. What was I thinking? It's a recorder, not a pair of pliers. -- 2. The motor is getting hotter and the dough is getting stiffer. That's when she says she'll be back in another day. And so there's still time to clean up that pee under the table. -- 1. Just because they're making something, doesn't make it right. They're out there again behind the tractor trailer in the lot. Always doing their work by the light of the moon, those two. ## Bowl 3 10. I wish they were rarer. Somehow that delight in them is not multiplied by having more access to them, but rather it somehow blunts it. It is surprising and dismaying too, because I cannot go back, now. -- 9. I saw a bird with a square head. It seemed awkward and hesitant to move as it stood there on the pavement. Strange as it was, I am mostly sure it was not one of the robot birds, although every year it gets harder to tell them apart. -- 8. Nature had not been so kind with him. There was the stooped back, the unusual smell, and several missing fingers. But the thing that made people shake their heads, was the large electric box fan where his head should have been. -- 7. The right to repair - it sounds so poetic. On the other hand, there's bound to be broken. That sounds pretty good too. -- 6. His foot is strangely shaped. But only if you have been looking at it for a long time. And when you do see it, some of the other stuff about that house starts to make sense. -- 5. The sight of those lampposts laying in the grass still haunts me to this day. How could something like that come into a place like this? It always happens when you think your toes touch bottom. -- 4. Sometimes, the afternoon heat has that smell of silence hanging on it, weighing it down. I can feel it when I put on my shoes. The cords remind me of that afternoon years ago when I was a child, when the water began to brown. -- 3. The cottonwood seeds came in think this year. Last year, the seeds were all red for some reason. I don't know what that means, but it seems somehow unhealthy. -- 2. I think the mean somehow seeped in from the streets, and into here. It's all toughness and hardness in there now. But I remember the spring sunsets, purple in the back lot, and how we would talk of many things. -- 1. The shifting shadows should not bother me anymore. But the newer drones don't drive through here any more. Next year, they won't at all. ## Bowl 2 10. When I saw the blue, yellow, and green bears, I knew something was up. But then an orange one? That's when I decided that the shed had to go. -- 9. She dropped the blue duo-tang on the way out the back door to the under-cover. With the sun and saw-horses in that late-afternoon summer sun, it's so sweet and private back there. Now let's go get that nintendo back out of the sand again. -- 8. Ten thousand daisies in that grass, yet the goalpost still fell over. So much for all those tacos we were saving for Susan. It's going to be a long, long week. -- 7. When the moth hit the windshield, it left behind this dusty smudge. I don't know what happened to it after that. But it was a lot less damaging than that deer would be the next day. -- 6. I watched it fall ten stories. When it landed on the lane-way, the red parts shot out across the lot on the other side. And it gave me that funny feeling you get when something reminds you of a thing, but you can't quite tell what. -- 5. While I'm stopped by the trash can, that's when I saw the robot. It's rolling along in the field, tracing the same square in the dust over and over as it goes. I wonder how long it's been left to do that. -- 4. I scatter them on this bare patch and rake them in, and let them fend for themselves. Some will make it, some will not. And I like that better than trying to plan things out. -- 3. Every spring, I buy one pack of each kind of seeds, and mix them all together. A few years back, a pack of marigolds had a funny grey seed in it, not like the others. I think the money bush must have come from that one. -- 2. I've been limping around all week. Nail on my big toe is black, rest are swollen up. I'm not buying those two-kilo jars of peanut butter any more. -- 1. I saw a car driving backwards in traffic the other day. Like, making all the stops and turns and everything. Sometimes you just have to grab a gear and go, but that seems a bit much. ## Bowl 1 10. Now, the fry pan is good for some of these, no question. But the louder ones need something stronger. For example, the skin-taker. -- 9. It's good to make thing prettier sometimes. But things like that are so stationary. That's why these little flower pots on wheels were such a great idea. -- 8. They invented a robot that would ride a kick scooter. For some reason, they added long hair to it. It got tangled up in the knee servos, and that was the end of that. -- 7. She had no idea if anyone would use the masks she made. But every morning, the tin where she left them was empty. Until someone took the tin, too. -- 6. Between Mars and Jupiter, they discovered something very big. They believe it is some kind of vast fungus network. But no one yet knows on what it feeds, or how long it has been there. -- 5. There are one thousand of them, maybe more. You would think at least one of them would not be broken. But every weekend, they take a lot of abuse. -- 4. I can't put that cloth bag in the recycling. You'd think I would have learned that by now. I remember what happened last time. -- 3. When I came down the stairs last Tuesday, I almost tripped on those pants I left there the night before. I don't even know why I kept them. You can't mend a rip that big, and whatever was in that puddle left a stain that's never coming out. -- 2. When toast pops, it's like the end of something, and the start of something. It's time to get the peanut butter and a knife. But when you have a drum of jet fuel under your table, that changes how it goes. -- 1. I never liked having words on walls. It gave me a funny feeling. But then I tried making them big, and a funny thing happened.