!Hope: Home stretch --- agk's diary 1 December 2021 @ 09:53 --- written on Pinebook Pro by myself in the house before class --- In a week this semester of nursing school will be over. I'll have a break to visit, feel the excite- ment of the advent of Christmas, be with my family, and maybe tinker with my motorcycle or single-board computers. Since school started this fall, I watched my baby grow from a little Squidward to a child, full of personality, sitting unassisted on her sheepskin, busy with a string of spools, a kitchen timer, and a wooden spoon. I watched Evy embrace motherhood. Yesterday by the creek, she said about our daughter, "She trusts me because she has to. I'm raising her because I want to." We had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with her parents. We worked hard to get here. Cassie moved back to her home state. She has started to make a good place there already. She was Ursula for halloween, is settling into her new job, and found her way back to creative output and community-building. I'm so proud of her. School dominated my life. I fought, thrashing around, hating the mess of webapps, but learned to do it anyway. I fought the crazy schedule and my desire to drop out and just be a mom, but tamed it to a degree with a spreadsheet, a process of reflection and boun- dary setting, a support person in the college of nursing, and help from Evy. I cut back at work from full-time to part-time to PRN. I also worked through multiple write-ups for forget- ting and missing clinical requirements. A few weeks ago, I don't think my professors thought I'd make it through the semester. But I almost have! I grew from timid to bold with turns, peri-care, physical assess- ment, collecting and organizing clues to arrive at clinical judgments, administering meds, and a dozen other skills. This might not be my first time, but I'm learning stuff, keeping it together, moving forward. My dad retired last Sunday after forty years of parish ministry: preaching, visiting the sick, lead- ing bible study and Christian formation, church administration, sheltering the homeless, building international partnerships, counseling church-campers, hospice ministry, prayer, weddings, funerals, baptisms, and communions. Advent is a time to prepare in hope, love, joy, and peace for the coming of our salvation. It's my favor- ite season. Part of preparing is letting go. In the week of hope I'm looking forward to this break from school. I can't wait to see dad. I'm so excited for my parents to have a few days with my daughter. I'm looking forward to reading with Cassie, traveling with Evy, and walking down to the creek through her first snow with my growing baby.