Guilt
29.03.20
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In the past I used to blame myself for the
outcome of everything in my life. If something
failed then that's because I fucked up somewhere.
I was too young to realize how life is unpredictible
and chaotic. I couldnt fathom all those factors 
that,when put together, form the binary results
of either sucess of failure. 

In other words I would blame everything
on my inaptitude to grasp life's variables.

However over time I came to understand 
that I do not have control or even knowledge
of all that can be success or failure.

In an irational mind, I'm trying to make this an
analogy to my relationship with my ex;
She would make me feel guilty for not being the one for her

She treated me like dirt, only because I wasnt a 100% perfect for her.

She fucked my life over, twice!
And I deserved it, apparently, because I was not 
what she wanted me to be !

So remember that, you are only guilty if you are not doing you ...