Stultus Avis Propagandapaper Issue #4 (10-9-2023) _____ __ ____ ___ _ / ___// /___ __/ / /___ _______ / |_ __(_)____ \__ \/ __/ / / / / __/ / / / ___/ / /| | | / / / ___/ ___/ / /_/ /_/ / / /_/ /_/ (__ ) / ___ | |/ / (__ ) /____/\__/\__,_/_/\__/\__,_/____/ /_/ |_|___/_/____/ *ALERT: LONGEST STULTUS ISSUE YET* ----------------------------------------------------------- New horror series A new horror series, Frontrooms have been created by famous kids youtuber [CENSORED TO PROTECT READER SANITY]. The first upload is called "Frog meets baby using TikTok in Frontrooms mysterious CLICK NOW fungal monster catches frog, see what happens next in this amazing video!". NOTE: The Frontrooms are sponsored by Stultus Avis Disinformation, censorship and mind control Corporation. ----------------------------------------------------------- Spacecraft launched A spacecraft was launched today. It is named SpySAT 1, to be used to spy on civilians. It was launched aboard the PUKE launch vehicle. ----------------------------------------------------------- STULTUS AVIS SPECIAL: STULTUS AVIS EDITORIAL: Which is better, pepperoni pizza or chicken pizza? HEALTH: Pepperoni pizza contains pepperoni. It has a high salt content and increases risk of.. whatever is caused by high salt. Chicken has more fat than protein (brotein) but prevents some bad stuff so chicken pizza is better on the health front. TASTE: Pepperoni. VERDICT: pepperoni is better. [this is the AUTHOR'S OPINION!] ---------------------------------------------------------- BUY POISONED BREAD -100% off! OLD price- $200 NEW price- $400! ----------------------------------------------------------- Stultus Avis Schedule Stultus Avis will publish a new issue every week (sundays) so our disinformation papers are longer and able to recuperate our fake news machine's idea pool. ----------------------------------------------------------- Cat News Network- The best ad-ridden news channel! Stultus Avis and Cat News Network have merged. Bringing you the ______ STULTUS + CAT pack- 44 "news" channels |____| ^crap and Stultus Avis at $433! Or choose the Cheap Sensation pack which guarantees access to every low quality TV, radio and newspaper ever at $9999! ----------------------------------------------------------- PP Chips! _____ Contains cocaine! (x_x) $6253847284756 per chip ----------------------------------------------------------- is the best HTML tag, says Blink Advocacy And Research Organization. "It is the most obnoxious, disgust- ing, disliked tag ever but it has it's flair. It makes people epileptic for a reason. It is important garbage. PLEASE USE! USE OR ELSE BLINK POLICE GET YOU" says Blink Advocacy And Research Organization's most recent press release dated September 4. It was founded in 2005 by Brian Mess and Bob "Fart" Ratf to address the growing problem of people not using tag and not writing blogs. "People have stopped using blogs. Now they have switched to using crappy social networks that make them scream into the dark, being crazy about getting "clicks", "views" and "likes" and comparing each other for the most "likes". It's even worse in BoomerBook, where people compete for the highest number of "friends", which in real- ity, they don't care about. I mean some people have friend counts into the thousands. And some creeps have them into the millions! How outrageuos! And in roddit, famous for its refugee crisis, "people" post meaningless stuff to get their "karma" up. The only karma they'll get is when they die" says Brian. (o_o) <- has 2000 "friends" (x_x) <- has 183761253348763542748587 "friends" ----------------------------------------------------------- New product A new product has been created by Gaggle: Gaggle Analytick, where website owners integrate spyware into their websites to track how many stupid swine end up on their web sites. It has Swine Count, which obviously shows the number of swine, Swine Engagement Rate which determines how many stupid swine are interested, and Swine Buy Rate, how many swine buy your stupid offerings. ----------------------------------------------------------- Feces University, where you can get CHEAP admissions for the following courses: Child Abuse (1926 people, $0) Eat Feces (772 people, $200020003765) Make Bombs (975264387777696963 people, $0) Choose Feces University, your guide to become a CERTIFIED Child Abuser. ----------------------------------------------------------- CHEAP LAPTOPS $9999 per craptop, 1 GB of RAM 1 GB of disk 0 USB 0 display, buy one yourself idiot ----------------------------------------------------------- PRAY TO THE DESTRUCTION GOD PRAY TO THE GOD OF IDIOCY OR ELSE.. ----------------------------------------------------------- Crap Warez Available! Dial 947273248234635643 to get them! Please share your adress so we can swat.. uh give quality warez! [this advert is presented by the SPA] ----------------------------------------------------------- Anti light mode protest A protest against light mode was staged today. "Light mode is a menace. It kills our eyes. Hail Dark Mode! Down with light mode!" says (screams?) David Stupidton, 34 (77 IQ). Light mode accounts for 33% of the global populace. ----------------------------------------------------------- Get Virtual Burgers! Deliciously made, 4.4 megs each. Feel the juicy, juicy patty, the soft bun, the soiled lettuce, the 1-year-old sauce. $99 for a slice of hell. 85% MSGl, 15% trans fat, 100% poison. Decreases lifespans by 40 YEARS and increases likelihood of cancer by 4003%! ----------------------------------------------------------- soyabeanz.com! Buy SoyaBeenz, the INTERNETWORKED CURRENCY! Redeem points, get rewards, get swindled. You can do all these without leaving your GAMERHOLE! And you can do money laundering, commit crimes against humanity and destroy institutions! ----------------------------------------------------------- Leading Diet-Professional Reveals No. 1 Worst Food The worst food for health, as said by Mr. Harry Bathtub Water Supply Drain Sewage Pencil Maker Pen Printer Window Door Deer Tiger Turtle Pika Poke Toothbrush Paint Pain Buy Us Not A Government Agent is.. poison. ----------------------------------------------------------- Garden of Eden FOUND?! The Garden of Eden was found today. It is located on Planet Earth. What a shocker! OH MY GOD SO SHOCKS! ----------------------------------------------------------- STULTUS AVIS The last bastion of disinformation Sensational! Scandalous! WOW! In a world of truth, happiness and prosperity, Stultus Avis seeks to deceive, to bully and disinform. We do low quality journalism made by an AI and some really special articles (like this one) are made by our team of 30 slaves. Please contribute some articles or ideas to caketheidiot @sdf.org because our slaves tire out very quickly. They've been underfed for the last month, ever since we started this thing. We kidnap people on the streets and put them in our Love & Care Van, and then made to produce 2 articles a day. After a few issues, we _euthanize_them and send them to the local butcher. ----------------------------------------------------------- WEATHER 498375 C, 101% humidity, threat of flying sofas, light rain ----------------------------------------------------------- Vote Stupid Party for Piss and Stability! (o-o) <- stupid ----------------------------------------------------------- Skyscraper destroyed Phillaedelphya, SepTIMBER 3: A skyscraper was demolished by method of TNT today. It created a debris tsunami that killed *only* 44.57% of the population. It was demolished to make way for a proposed slum that will revolutionize the organized crime scene. Expected benefits include: more housing, more fires, much higher crime rates (WOW!), segregation (DOUBLE WOW!). "Instead of the elegant, safe skyscraper, we have built a slum! This is the way to manipulate the people and win votes" says mayor Mayonnaise Ketchupper. ----------------------------------------------------------- Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's a /^\ missile! Buy one from Missile Maniacs, |M| now with nukes, in cooperation with |_| Nukes 'R' Us. ------ $99 per missile, FREE nuke worth $1. ----------------------------------------------------------- Get spam delivered to your email address by visiting www.trackme.spamforlyfe.advertisingisgreatandidontregretit. ml. Over 200+ advertisers work hard by the sweat of their brow (or armpits) to deliver high quality advertisements. Thanks to them your email will be cluttered forever. NICE! - Ad by Spam Protection Agency of Planet Earth and Mars and Jupiter and Venus and Neptune and Saturn. ----------------------------------------------------------- /\ This is a picture of the FartSat rocket about to lift || off. This satellite will try to destroy the ozone layer === ----------------------------------------------------------- Want insecure email? Get an awwf.ul email address! NOTE: You HAVE to use ilovesandwiches123 as you password. Also available: in.secure domain! ----------------------------------------------------------- Fake Facts List 1. All mushrooms are edible (especially Death Caps). 2. Yootubb Shoarts is a genuine source of knowledge. 3. Gaggle is not evil. 4. This newspaper contains knowledge. 5. Stultus Avis does not deceive you 6. The internet is made by Al Gore ----------------------------------------------------------- Excuses to help get you out of work 1. It fell into the sewers 2. Deleted it accidentally 3. R O B O T I N V A S I O N 4. It flew to Saudi Arabia and into one of their oil rigs. 5. Man with knife stole it 6. I farted on it, causing it to turn to ashes ----------------------------------------------------------- Meaning of life found The meaning of life is "farts. Farts for life. Life for farts" says monk Robert Witless. This is our interview with him: Q. What is the meaning of "farts for life"? A. Fart Fart. Scarifice life. Fart. Amen. Q. What do you do during the day? A. I eat beans, avocado and *secret ingredients* to achieve inner farting. Q. What do you do for a living? A. I stream myself farting on The Internet (c) 1998 by Al Gore. ----------------------------------------------------------- Go to Pencilvania! Free pencils, $6367 per second rent! 1 in 10 people will get murdered here ----------------------------------------------------------- Buy MANure 100% human 0% contamination Best for your potatoes! Only 9 humans get killed per bag. Q. How do you get your MANure? A. Do you know where your grandma went? Unethically Sourced ----------------------------------------------------------- ALERT: Mild Rain Incoming A hurricane named Mild Rain has hit Texas somehow. 611 mL of rain has been detected. It isn't that bad, only 21 landslides happened. Very Mild Indeed! ----------------------------------------------------------- TekTek, the best social media! _____ Where your attention span falls to zero! |tek| And don't forget the stupid challenges! ----- ----------------------------------------------------------- Jumble words 1. GBI EMIT 2. SAG 3. TIP 4. IRNA 5. IMDEA Solutions: 1. BIG TIME 2. GAS 3. PIT 4. RAIN 5. MEDIA ----------------------------------------------------------- S T U L T U S A V I S I S L O N G Just read a little more fake news pweeeaaase. And don't get sucked into the trap known as TekTek, No, get sucked into STULTUS! 300 lines milestone! Like we care! ----------------------------------------------------------- NEW Digital Camera 2 MB of memory Sends every photo to the NSA, to keep you safe! ----------------------------------------------------------- Buy a ticket to the RADIATION CIRCUS Get your bones X-rayed for no reason! Only 77% of our customers die of radiation poisoning! ----------------------------------------------------------- BIG BRAIN PILLS ______ Makes you smol brain to |PILL| BIG BRAIN! |____| But don't take too much.. ----------------------------------------------------------- Go to Propaganda Books ONLY the choicest propaganda here! Luxury bespoke books! Starting at $999 ----------------------------------------------------------- The following is leaked from Yutubb algorithm console, leaked by Truth Force. We infiltrated into one of their offices and planted a screen recorder into a person's console. [RECORDING START] > LOGON ALGORITHM@YUTUBB.COM IDENTIFY > NAME=JOE SCHMOE > ENTER CONSOLE 1 ENTERING CONSOLE.. PASSWORD REQUIRED. > PASSINPUT: ilovesandwiches123 WELCOME TO YUTUBB ALGORITHM CONSOLE 1. ALGORITHM WANT TRAINING DATA INPUT REQUIRED INPUT REQUIRED GETTING INPUT FROM HUMANS GOT 1933 HUMAN SAMPLES. PROCEEDING WITH ALGORITHM TRAINING. RECOMMENDING LIST GENERATION IN PROGRESS. NEED MORE SAMPLES GOTTEN SAMPLES (65836). RECOMMENDATIONS: HOW TO MAKE BUBBLE GUM NOT CLICKBAIT. ACCEPT? > ACCEPT NEED MORE HUMAN TEST SUBJECTS. PICK. > 9317 OK. FORCE FEEDING VIDEO... DONE. CHOOSE NEXT COMMAND > CREATE VIDEO STYLE=PROPAGANDA QUALITY=LOW C=CLICKBAIT GENERATING VIDEO. PLEASE WAIT. "I SAVED A TURTLE FROM OCEAN THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED" > EDIT REGENERATE REASON=CLICKBAIT LEVEL TOO LOW "I GAVE OUT $100000 TO A RANDOM PERSON!" > APPROVED OK > GENERATE VIDEO CONTENT QUALITY=NONE CREATING FACE.. DONE CREATING RANDOM PERSON'S FACE.. DONE ADDING PROPAGANDA.. DONE ADDING SPONSORSHIPS.. DONE CHOOSING ADS TO SHOW. ERROR 445: AD PREF TOO COMPLEX > AD CHOICE=FASHION BRAND="Cheap Fashion" CREATING AD.. EMBEDDING AD.. DONE. > APPROVE OK > PUBLISH VIEWS=1000 --GENERATE-FAKE-COMMENTS=ON OK. FAKED COMMENTS: 677. VIEW GENERATED COMMENTS? (YES/NO) > YES [COMMENTS CENSORED] > APPROVE > PUSH CHANGES OK. ALERT: YOUR CONSOLE IS BEING RECORDED BY A REBEL. SHUTTING DOWN YOUR CONSOLE (#552) TO PREVENT LEAKAGE OF ALGORITHM CONSOLE 552 HAS LOGGED OFF (REASON:REBELRECORDINGDETECTED) [END OF RECORDING] The recorder was a pill sized box plugged in via USB. We managed to get it to safety by sending Squad C (the annihilation and rescue squad), killing 7 yutubb security guards and Joe Schmoe died of his injuries. We hope this piece helps people realize yutubb's heinous crimes against the art of making videos. ----------------------------------------------------------- Poem of this issue I smelled it from across the room A fart as loud as twelve bassoons The feline source claimed innocence I grimaced from olfactory offense - poem by handyc (on sdf, made in com), public domain ----------------------------------------------------------- Cyanide Sandwiches available AT CyanSandos! Sure to kill you! [in case of unsatisfactory poison (ie. does not kill you) dial 1800-sandos to get it fixed] ----------------------------------------------------------- Strange song --We Like Food-- We like food Its our world We like food! Its our world If you touch I will kill you This is my food - by [name redacted for anonymity reasons] This work has won the Stultus Acaedaemee Awahrds 2023. ----------------------------------------------------------- Not Fake Stock Quotes NASDAQ - $0 MSFT - $-653288 ----------------------------------------------------------- Exchange rates (real, as of 6-9-23) INR-USD: 83 USD-EUR: 0.93257878 randomcurrency-randomcurrency: 76.554 ----------------------------------------------------------- New cryptocurrency A new cryptocurrency, RagPull has been founded. USD-RAG rose to 193,762 within the first minute. This currency is not useless and is a very stable investment. Invest your whole life savings in this! It will not go wrong! UPDATE: It crashed, now USD-RAG exhange rate is at 0.0076. 37% of the global population lost their entire life savings. Be like them! ----------------------------------------------------------- SpyVPN: Get spied on today! Did You Know: Your ISP is spying on you! To prevent this, get SpyVPN! Now your IP will be changed and O_o <- VPN, wants da ta now SpyVPN is spying on you! O <- personal What a data ----------------------------------------------------------- Stultus is NOT one of those low quality tabloid papers. We are also not a yellow pages paper. Those news are actually believable. Stultus is actually a Pee-Pages paper. ie. we make stuff up. ----------------------------------------------------------- BNN- Bloated News Network. What is BNN? bnn.com How big is the website? 61 GB How slow is it? Takes 4 hours to load a single letter What if my disk is 55 GB? Simple. We will fill the rest in RAM. If that doesn't suffice, we'll delete our OS and write with the newly found free space. ----------------------------------------------------------- TeleDelay, the worst telephone provider has opened. It delays all calls by 4 minutes and 75% of calls are dropped automatically. Of the 25%, 20% of them take so long to get relayed over the telephone cables that they time out. Only 5% get through! (and 3% get randomly disconnected). 2% of calls work properly! Only 2 out of 100 people allowed! "This is monumental. This technique limits load on our weak servers and we cut costs of wear-and-tear on the cables. Plus those cables? Only able to support 5,000 people. And the cables are coated in lead, to poison our youth aned bring new experiences." says Kevin Obese. ----------------------------------------------------------- Get Yutubb Preemium $29.99999999999 per day Access to EXCLUSIVE GARBAGE! GET ADDICTED NOW! ---------------------------------------------------------- Great Burgers available at ANUS KITCHEN Pipin' hot pizzas also available! $5 - Pizza on Pineapple $20 - ANUS BURGER $25 - ANUS TACO $99999 - ANUS LUXURY TACO [edit: sorry we made a typo. Forgot to put apostrophe in the name] ----------------------------------------------------------- FARTSAT: Mission Analysis FARTSAT is the newest satellite of the FART Space Program. It will be in geostationary orbit, observing the earth, and giving useful weather data AND surveilling on the populace! What a deal :) plus it will take photos of Pluto, just in case it wants to be a proper planet again. It launched at 5:05 AM and reached orbit at 6:56 PM. ----------------------------------------------------------- BUY BUY DATACORP Buy our latest washing machine, BUY. / Able to spy on your laundry choices ___ / and report them to DATA CORP. |_| ----------------------------------------------------------- DATA CORP IS SPYI- DATACORP IS A WONDERFUL CORPORATION THAT MAKES YOUR LIFE EASIER. BUY MORE BUY MORE BUY EVEN MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR FEED THE CONGLOMERATE. HELP THE MONOPOLY. BE PREY IN THE COMPLEX. ----------------------------------------------------------- FecesJUICES! Available in 4 kinds of feces flavours- Normal, Watery, Constipation and RockHard. Contains polio! Don't worry, the polio in FecesJUICES is resistant to every vaccine. Starting $5 per pack [FecesJUICES is owned by DATA CORP] feces -> FecesJUICE ----------------------------------------------------------- 505 Lines! KEEP READING DATA CORP NEEDS YOUR SOUL. GET DECEIVED. FALL UNCONSCIOUS. TRUST US. WE ARE DATA CORP. DATA CORP HAIL. DATA CORP MOST POWERFUL. DATA CORP CEO KING OF WORLD. STULTUS. PATAL. CHIRIYA. AVIS. LIFE IS MEANINGLESS. FALL IN GRASP OF US. FOLLOW US. DOUBT IS TREASON. YOU BE SOCK PUPPET. GET CONTROLLED. ----------------------------------------------------------- Data Corp origins Data Corp was originally a big tech corporation named BigBird. But, a few years ago, they rebranded to Data Corp. They started buying stuff. First other bigtechs, FartBook fell first. Then they bought every newspaper. After that a new newspaper, Patal Chiriya (translated: Hell Bird) started. It informed thousands of the truth. But it was destroyed and replaced by Stultus Avis.. [REBEL PROPAGANDA SUCCESSFULLY BLOCKED] Data Corp is a helpful nice corporation that blocks fake news and disinformation. We shut down criminal illegal websites and untrusted newspapers. We work tirefully to eliminate unscrupulous characters. ----------------------------------------------------------- FARTBOOK ALGORITHM RECORDING This is an illegal article, inserted into STULTUS. We want to inform you of the human rights crimes happening in DATA CORP. Here is a recording of Console 3, Video Create Dept.: > CONNECT VCD@FARTCORPNET.COM CONNECTED. IDENTIFY > JOHN FARTUS / WAGEY #4483 ACCEPTED. PLEASE ENTER CONSOLE NUMBER > CONSOLE 3 CONNECT URGENT MEETING VIDEO CREATION PASSWORD ENTER > TACOS4LYFE TRUE. LOGGING IN.. FARTBOOK DATA CORP TERMINAL 5.11 2 FEB 2013 > MEETING JOIN VCD MEET 331 CONNECTING TO MEET SERVER.. CONNECTED. [CEO] WE NEED TO MONETIZE FARTBOOK. [W1124] SHOULD WE DO ADVERTISING? [CEO] NO. WE ALREADY HAVE SO MUCH OF THAT [W9887] SELLING DATA? [W1124] WE ARE DOING THAT ALSO! [CFO] LET'S LEVY MORE TAXES [CEO] YES [W6146] TIME TO HIRE ANOTHER WAGEY I GUESS [W7462] WE MUST GET RID OF WORKERS 2000-3000, THEY ARE BEING TRAITORS! [W2116] NO! [SQUADC1] WE ARE WAITING FOR YOUR DECISION, CEO [CEO] YES. KILL THEM!

/ SEND MESSAGE MESSAGE PUT: WE HAVE LACK OF TRAINING DATA, CFO [W4483] WE HAVE LACK OF TRAINING DATA, CFO / EXIT MEETING > DATA CORP IS EVIL! PERSONAL CREDIT SCORE -83652758636! EXECUTING.. % ADMINEXEC LIFESTATUS TERMINATE --REASON=DECEIV --MODE= PAINLESS --TYPE=ELIMINATE INJECTING MATERIALS.. DONE. WORKER 4483 STATUS: DEAD % REPLACE DEAD WORKER 4483 REPLACING.. REPLACED WITH NEW RECRUIT, ROBERT BOO. > DISCONNECT CONSOLE 3 --REASON=WORKERDEAD DISCONNECTED. SHUTTING DOWN WAGEY TERMINAL.. [END OF RECORDING] ----------------------------------------------------------- Greedy Chungus Furnitures Co. Bespoke Ugly Furniture to make your eyes bleed. Available painiture items: ______ 1. Nail ridden chair \bath/ 2. Sofa with IED which explodes when \__/ you sit on it 3. Bathtubs whose walls' will grow to a height of 10.5m and filled with too much water, to drown you. ----------------------------------------------------------- Work at Sabway Sandwich Store! Wage of $0.47 per day, 112 hours per week NOTE: We will take $0.47 from your wage to fund our store. THIS is what's called a satisfactory healthy job! "Work till you die. Be a man." - overland, sdf (on com), public domain ----------------------------------------------------------- Retirement age has gone up Retirement age has gone up to 48734847, meaning you will never retire in your life. So exciting, being with your coworkers your whole life! (oh and you cannot change jobs after you've picked one, so if your coworkers are annoying, you will have to suffer until you die). ----------------------------------------------------------- Best Social Peedias 1. Tumbld (pronounced Tumbled) 2. DATA CORP 3. Instiagraham (side effect: suicide rate increase by 44%) 4. Beddeet (the worst) ----------------------------------------------------------- Do some beginner P A I N Y O G A -> O \ | / \---/ Steps: 1. Sit on ground 2. Stretch your legs on the ground, straight 3. Bend them up 4. Voila! Bone breakages! ----------------------------------------------------------- Who is the person with the most dislikes? It is quintin, from SDF's com chat system. How many dislikes? -23947823911. It's a glitch, his original one is around -1960. Plus the dislike count is still increasing! Theories are that, a beam of energy flitched out quintin's dislike counter, causing it to be much bigger. Evidence is: the number was divisible by 8. (the number it originally was is also divisible by 8 :O) What did he do? He asked to be disliked. ----------------------------------------------------------- Tomatoes for FREE! (delivery charges not included) 67% rotten! ___ Delivery Charges: $82745625745 ( ) *** ----------------------------------------------------------- CREPITU POST REGULAR POST - $99 per kilo, 95% package loss rate SPEED POST - $199 per kilo, 90% package loss SUPER RARE STUFF (eg. Nothingness) POST - $399 per gram, 100% package loss ----------------------------------------------------------- Very true math facts (trust us bro) 1. 2 + 2 = 22 2. ? = 0.5, so 2? = 2.5 3. 2 / 2 = 2/2 4. 60 + 2 = 602 5. -23947823910 + -23947823911 = 1 ----------------------------------------------------------- Lemons? Nope. LeMANS delicious. Great for LeMANade. $59 per cube (they come in cubes) ----------------------------------------------------------- Procrastination O <- average student. "10 days left for this assignment!" | | | O <- "eh. 5 days left" | | | O <- "ONLY 1 DAY LEFT?! WAAAAAAA" ----------------------------------------------------------- The process of enevilation of businesses . <- cute local enterprise , <- it has expanded! it owns a few places now. ; <- state level! still quite cute o <- national level, beginning to be evil O <- international! for tech sector, only 5 have reached this. EXTREME EVIL X <- SUPA DUPA EVIL (0 companies in "real" life, 1 in STULTUS universe. Aka. DATA CORP) XXXXXWQQQQQ <- ??? (0 companies) ----------------------------------------------------------- Internet to be shut down The internet is going to be shut down, and replaced by ADVERTNET, where advertisements are mandatory in all sites. "We want to give a better customer experience and support skill growth. We also want to deliver new experiences and personalization of advertisements and sharing of data to our partners and give growth opportunities for small, medium, large and evil businesses." says Ron Fished, owner of GREAT ad network GagOrder. A few miscreants and misfits in our glorious society have formed "SaneNET" to promote anti-business activities and non-ad-ified sites and unregulation unspied on chat services. Do not join this underground dark web, says Minion Cutlet, CFO of DATA CORP. ----------------------------------------------------------- New underground operating system found by authorities! A new underground OS, Daybian, has been found. It is being distributed within SaneNET, the infamous illegal darkweb. It does not have Government supervision and does not have any affiliations to ad networks, unlike MonkeyChunks Wandows. This anti-government anti-business anti-adverts OS is used by hackers to.. do their illegal stuff (searching sandwich recipes, etc). We recommend you to destroy any Daybian CD, USB or file on sight. Never install it, or you will be outside the protection of corporations. ----------------------------------------------------------- Buy Bell laptops! With MonkeyChunks Wandows 15.55638. 7264 GB of RAM, 7260 GB of which _____ is unusable unless you buy our |RAM| <- most of it RAM ENABLER software. ===== is used to Buy from Scamazon and installable spy on you. on Scamazon Candle. Now with integration into GagOrder services, like personalized advertisements on the desktop to widen your knowledge about brands and stifle illegal activities. ----------------------------------------------------------- MonkeyChunks Edged Version 17465 MonkeyChunks Edged 17465 has come out. Featuring newest data harvesting technologies, including ad protections, which makes ad uninstallable and unremovable, to make new industries. It also removes support for http://, replacing it with data://. ----------------------------------------------------------- QUALITY expired milk available! At MilkuVOMIT Milk Stores, we keep your milk in the worst condition possible. We do not refrigerate milk and add harmful moulds to the mix and mildly radioactive green food colouring. Not FDA approved. Not like the FDA exists now after THE CHEESE INDUSTRY killed them all. ----------------------------------------------------------- BP Compooters- Now with kill button: Kill your PC! ----------------------------------------------------------- $24.99 Terrorism Starter Kit review Co the market. The bomb is of exceptional quality. But the gun is of less quality, it does not have the power to kill a person. The ammo is way too little for a hostage situation. ----------------------------------------------------------- Joys of plastic pollution highlighted Joys of plastic pollution were highlighted. These include death of dangerous cute wildlife, destruction of those ugly coral reefs and microplastic enrichment. ----------------------------------------------------------- The The The The is the most viral movie ever, bringing in $7357667 778 but with a production price of 7357667777, making 1 dollar. ----------------------------------------------------------- Hill Dew: Best Juice in the "looks like pee" category. Contains lithium, arsenic and lead. $55 per drop ----------------------------------------------------------- Tips for not dying 1. Don't die 2. Never install TekTek ----------------------------------------------------------- Review of Burger Airlines Burger Airlines is a new company, that offers flights to every city on planet earth. 100% of all flights are delayed by an average of 66.73 hours. All in all, BEST airline ever. ----------------------------------------------------------- MEGAZINE ______ Best source of useless sports news! |MEGA| get it now before other stupid peoPLE ------ BUY THEM! ----------------------------------------------------------- 800 lines. Read on, deceive on ----------------------------------------------------------- Poison Get cheap drinking water delivered to your house! / Enriched with minerals, poisons and plastics. / $55 per liter. your house ----------------------------------------------------------- FARTUS RESTO (_) <-burger Every menu item is treated with ^ fart gas to sanitize dark energies. _|_ $3654223764362759762400018726073425118361 |_| <- fart per item. ----------------------------------------------------------- MOSQUITOE ATTRACTOR, Get bitten by humanity's best insect. ----------------------------------------------------------- ePhone- Best Phone! Now with B-Mobbil. $999 per phone ----------------------------------------------------------- NERD Cement Weak / Cannot resist 0.1+ earthquakes / Polluting BUY BUY BUY Home is built only once. Build it with the WORST cement available. ----------------------------------------------------------- New company A new company, Lungs Behemoth LLC has been founded. It has 2 subsidiaries, The Hungry Pancreas, a restoraunt and The Tired Gall Bladders, a hotel catering to the ultra rich. ----------------------------------------------------------- How long is this? The length of a small book. Congrats! You have a good attention span, make sure to keep it safe by NOT using TekTek. ----------------------------------------------------------- author: caketheidiot credits (Me Steal From These People): handyc - the farting cats poem overland - "Work till you die. Be a man" S T U L T U S A V I S W I L L P U B L I S H O N S U N D A Y S :)