Seriously considering limiting my Mastodon activity when I return

Even though I am on Lenten restrictions, I broke when a SDF member told me
via messaging he was arriving to my locality for a Vacation.

I receive via emails reports and account requests. The reports, to whitewash,
 show me many people need to transform their outlooks from fear to love. 
Their actions or their reports are calls for help. I'm also working on
transforming fear to love, and I don't have the energy or wisdom to under-
stand:

- the one who deleted his account, deeming the SDF Moderator Team "Zionist
genocidal cunts" because his post "Oh look a nazi in a  kippah" was removed
for violating the SDF Mastodon server rules. To me, calling someone a [sic]
"nazi" violates the 'no derogatory or insulting' posts rule. I don't
understand people who are fluent in English, have spoken it for over 60
years, and do not think 'nazi' is insulting or derogatory, and that upholding 
the server rules necessarily means the moderation team are Zionist. 

- the one who was suspended after twelve reports against her. Her feed had
many Zionist messages excusing the slaughter of Palestine civilians, 
claiming they all supported Hamas.  She claimed she was speaking out against
lies and who would be left to speak against lies if the voices of truth were
extinguished.

- the federated timeline denizens who report anyone who posts questions or
scientific findings because they have a complicated relationship with reality
or truth or evidence.

I lived in the US for 23 years, an election happens in under eight months 
there. I don't plan to pay attention to political activists; I don't coddle
 gatekeepers of messaging of fraughtful, complicated, ages-long conflicts.
I assess reported messages for our server rule violations, or other 
instances' violations. If a post questions 'the hive mind' or popular opinion,
 if it's civil and seems sincere, if it's backed up by URLs to respected
authoritative sources, I won't take action.  I won't take action on a remote
instance post if it has an opinion yoked to a YouTube video URL, with no 
hashtags, no title of the URL. That would mean investigating the untitled,
unattributed YouTube video, and signalling to my instance fellow accounts
that they needn't block or mute, I will take action on what offends them.
This moderation action offends me, and at least one member of the moderation
team is doing it.

I cherish the friendly conversations here, but as a moderator, I don't get 
enough of them. I get the idea that only 5% of the populace have 
impulse control and are open-minded with critical thinking skills. 
I get the idea that people aren't self-reflective, that they don't visit
another's instance before reporting: "hello, admin of a personal instance?
I'm reporting the one member of your instance, which would be you, for 
posting something I disagree with."

I get the idea that people who post, either by reply or boosts, 100+ posts
a day, might not be able to think of more constructive things to do. I 
wonder about their posts "I should be able to lob Molotov Cocktails of
invective without anyone retaliating. I would feel unsafe if people did
to me what I do to them."

I get the idea that people are presented with examples of how to behave
and interact civilly but choose, or are sadly habituated owing to program-
ming from a toxic centralized social media platform to instantly reacting
instead of reflecting. I get the idea that nearly every social media forum
has someone who is truly off their meds, hostile, sociopathic, antisocial,
 and I'm sick of it. I want to go back to the world, to see the divinity
in others and to see those who see the divinity in me. If the soul-sick
truly need love, why do they not learn from the examples among them?

I'm tired of these types of activity and will not allow the accounts that
are concern trolls, gloom-and-doomers, reactionaries, attention whores,
 and reality-challenged lost souls on my Lists. Yes, they need love. I
try to be a good example, but dammit, I need love too.