Jan. 29, 2020

It must be tax season. I don't need a calendar to know this. I can tell because small businesses start badgering me to send them a W-9 form.

In the USA, if you are an independent contractor and a business client pays you $600 or more during the year, then they must send you a 1099-Misc form. The information they need to complete form 1099' can be gleaned off off form W-9, which you send to your client.

If you operate a small business like I do, you might be concerned that your W-9 form contains some very personal information. At the very worst, it will reveal your social security number.  At best, it will contain your LLC's IRS issued Employer ID Number, or EIN. Any clever hacker can use that info to attack your personal and business bank accounts, credit cards, identity, etc.

Just handing out this sensitive information willy nilly to anyone who asks for it is not a good idea. And before a business asks you to send them that information, they should need it.

The U.S. Internal Revenue Service has an opinion on who is an independent contractor:

"The general rule is that an individual is an independent contractor if the payer has the right to control or direct only the result of the work and not what will be done and how it will be done."

In my case, I produce and sell products online. 

When you randomly appear on my website, and when you buy a product online for $24.99, that does not make me your contractor. You didn't "direct the result of the work."  I don't want to get a 1099-Misc form from thousands of people who spend piddly amounts of money.  In this relationship, at best I am your retail vendor, and unless you spent more than $600 with me on product customization, then bugger off.

You give me money. I give you the product. Then you go away.

Why do so many people aggressively hit me up this time of year for personal information that they don't need, so they can send me a form that they needn't send?

I chalk it up to ignorance.  Ignorance and fear.  Some people seem to have been advised that its just safer to get a W-9 from everyone they do business with.

As an experiment, I've chosen to take the rough road this year. I am refusing to send my W-9 to anyone who I believe isn't entitled to it.  The result so far, almost without exception, is that they  get testy and argue with me about how they need it for their "records."  Their CPA told them to get it.   It's their policy.  Everyone else sends a W-9, so I should, too.

No, nearly all of my customers don't need it, for any reason whatsoever. And they're not getting it, because thats just the kind of obstinate old dude I have become as I refuse to remain a victim of bureaucratic bullying and ignorance.

In my imagination, I try to picture a scenario about why these people are SO desperate to get hold of my W-9.

(Cue the watery dream sequence fade in from black):

Sitting in a dingy cubical beneath flickering, buzzing green flourescent lights, an angry, frustated old CPA is struggling with Quickbooks Online, his swollen fingers constantly pressing the wrong keys. He's just been chewed out by his ignorant boss who is fearing an IRS audit for good reason.

An accounting intern from the local community college has been summoned to the cubical.  Warily, the intern leaves his/her closet office (which is shared with 4 other interns). Relieved to be breathing slightly less stale air, the intern pops into the horrid little cubical to explain why she/he didn't bother to get a W-9 from the gas station down the street when she/he filled up the CPA's car with E-85. 

Accounting Intern:  "Oh, I asked in clsas.  Its not necessary to get a W-9 unless they're a contractor and unless we spend more than $600 a year with them. Which reminds me, Sir, when will I get paid and when will you send me my own 1099-Misc form for my taxes?? I am so excited to complete my tax form this year, with my very own 1099-misc form! I've been estimating my withholding and everything!"

We see the CPA push back from his messy little desk, throbbing veins in the fat neck swell around the noose of hs tie, face turning scarlet red. His red eyes bulge, and for reasons that only a licensed CPA could ever comprehend, he violently explodes:

"Jeezus!! I don't fucking care!! Let me make this freakin' clear to you!  Ok??  Just get a W-9 from EVERYONE, OK!?? You goddamn incompetent intern!  Get it from EVERYONE!! Now go wash my car, and get a FREAKIN' W-9 from the car wash! Then contact EVERYONE we have spent more than one freakin' dollar with last year, and tell them to send you their goddamn W-9 now!!"

The intern retreats back to the closet, sobbing.  He/she goes down the general ledger, manually pulling receipts from each of the 10,000 entries, eventually arriving at my line item for $24.99.  And email is sent:  "Please Sir, may I have a W-9?"

No. No you may not.