beach

Slowly closing the beach for the
winter. I am wondering about closing
the teepee this year. We had a 
beautiful ceremony last year, 
with sounds, tea and healing. 

It was a sweet experience. 

Time to take down the hamocks! 

The beach reminds me of the summer,
an intense moment for me. 
There are some traumas still 
resurfacing. With trauma comes
fear, and with fear come this
unease of life. As I grow older
I feel this heaviness, this
lack of innocence, which fills
in more and more my days. 

Talking to a friend on the phone, 
she's complaining about this lack of 
adventure as a new parent. I tell
her we have to force ourself at this
age to dance, take magic mushroom, 
enjoy nature, play theatre... 

dreams

My dream practice is going well. 
Is this a dream? I keep repeating
it during the day so at night I 
become more lucid. But I haven't
attain lucidity in a long time. 

Dream, lucidity, solidification
of the dream, out of body experience.

In the dream training I am taking 
online with Carlos, the step between
lucidity and out of body experience
seemed vague and quick. I have a feeling
it might not be his favorite method. 

tech

I am back to writing on my phone
with my mechanical keyboard. It's
minimal and also away from the computer
although not away from a screen. I 
haven't used my e-ink ebook (boox)
much for writing, which was the plan. 

The Boox isn't the greatest experience,
or I haven't hacked it enough to make
it mine. I like the fbreader tool on 
there and it runs termux and syncthing
so it's decently customized but I 
feel like I'd like to get closer to
the metal, maybe with a different rom
or even better to have a minimal 
linux on there. 

music

I am starting to like what I create
musically. I listen to what I've 
recorded and I like it. My wife played
one of my track during her yoga class. 
I though she would stop it at one point, but she played it all, for the 1.5 
hour of the class. 

I'll continue creating more of that, 
ambient meditative. Next Wednesday
morning during my show (or the next
time I get to it) I'll record a
yoga nidra practice and mantra 
reciation + live synth improv. 

war

I see two old man with grey hairs,
finding ways to dismiss accusation
of war crimes. One not even looking
at the screen, while the other attempting
a stange smirk. 

The USA economy depends on war. 
If the US economy is down, war 
has to go up. How can a country 
selling billions of dollars
of weapons every year talk about
peace. War is a sign of prosperity 
for the US. The more the war, the 
better the economy. The CEO of the US
simply has to make sure there is enough
war to sell to all these countries. 

'We will send billion of $ of weapon.' 

Why do we say that? Why isn't any 
media saying 'We just made a 
shitload of money selling billion 
of $ of weapons to this and that 
country?' 

It's like they are trying to sugar
coat the weapon market. That's
what the US do, so why not just 
say it?

Last I checked, it was 70B of weapon
'trade' per year. That's a lot of 
pocket change. 

Why are people looking into conspiracy
when the factual reality of our politics
and economy is enough to be revolted?

It's right there before our eyes, 
the US vetoed the call for a truce,
while every other voting country wanted
that. Vetoed a call for a truce!

Now I don't know enough to have an 
objective look at the conflict, and I 
don't want to offend anyone with these
words. But there are fundamental facts
that can't really be denied and shouldn't
be hidden or wrapped into conton candy. 

War is good for the economy, because
we have built a system that works like
that. The more war the more profit. 
Peace is not profitable, so it's not
valued. You cannot want peace without
a complete overhaul of our economy
and way of life. Similarly, you can't 
save the planet without re-thinking
every systems that are in place now.