Hello void
here you are again
dark and light (1)

I am again in this space of void. 
It has similarity with depression
but it's enjoyable. In a 
depressive state I can't do anything. 
I am stuck and blocked, like in a
nightmare, when I try to run away
but I'm stuck. 

This void place is empty. I can 
sit and watch the clouds and I 
am fully satisfied. I don't need
anything really. I am also not
excited about much. But I can
still do my work, I'm actually
more efficient as there is no
tension or desires for anything 
else. It's a bit dry though. 

There is nothing to like about
that void, because it's void. 
I can only compare it to when
there is not a void. I miss the
lust, the fear, the suffering 
from before the void. Outside
the void, there is a direction
and desires that makes me move
and create. I like that. But 
with these, attachement and
suffering are also part of the
equation. 

The last time I reached Samadhi,
it was a strange feeling. When
people talks about enlightment, 
most people envision that state 
as a state of joy and happiness. 
But bliss is not that. The state 
of samadhi, which is a prelude to
enlightement, is a state in 
between sadness and happiness.
It's a middle path. It's calm
it's peaceful, but it's also
denude of human intensity. 

Trough the void, I become very
powerful. Everything comes to 
me. But this in turn trigger
lust and desires, which gets me
out of the void. If I am fully
detached why would I then have
so much powers? If I use my 
power for others, then I don't
get attached as much. There is
still an ego trigger, 'wow look
at what I can do' but there is 
less attachment to the outcome. 


1. This is a 3 5 3 form of poetry.
   I read there are poets who prefer
   a more succint 'haiku' style in 
   the form of 5 3 5, but the 3 5 3
   seems to flow better for me. I've
   always questioned the English 
   Haiku, following Japanese counting
   since the language and composition
   are different, shouldn't the 
   structure also be different?