## 20 One slice of life in March

And let's talk about what I did last week... I thought that the dragon might have killed the smolweb? I was trying to read new posts on the Gemlog I follow and ... nothing since the end of last year. What happened to the authors? I don't know. Is it because I started following them? ... And when I look at the aggregators, there's not much to read except for 3 or 4 authors. Is the smolweb dead or is there a problem with the aggregator? When I look at some capsule hosters, I see new blogs and authors... for 2 or 3 posts and then nothing more. Oh, I forgot: I'm no longer listed in the Gemini aggregators or quite not listed. I don't know why and I don't care. I've read an excellent post (1) about this problem. I don't care about aggregators because this blog is not made to be "famous", just to live a discreet life. I just have it automatically posted on mastodon.social and that's it.  I thought I might have been deleted from the aggregators because of my post questioning the reasons for Hamas doing what they did
 in October 2023. I know it's difficult to talk about this in the US with a lot of censorship or auto-censorship. I haven't received any news about that, so it's just an hypothesis. I'm not going to talk about some IT things and it's quite rare in the smolweb. Too rare for me because I like to read the posts about everything else, like, for example, the guy/girl who works in China or Japan and tries to get us to travel with him/her.

Winter seemed to last longer than usual this year... And as usual, spring came suddenly in February before disappearing again. I took the time to get back in touch with my agenda, my schedule for work and personal things. I explained my concept of bullet journaling, but there is so much to say about it, like the way the French have to do long meetings for nothing. That's something I hate. I like to be efficient, to get to the point of the meeting with everyone who has prepared their part. That's what I try to teach my team. But I think I'm getting more and more isolated. Every week I have a meeting on Friday afternoon about a technical issue, and it's taking so long to get results. It's driving me crazy, especially with a guy who talks about solutions before he analyses the problems. I'm not very present on the R&D side because there's so much to do in terms of calculations, documents to prepare for the rest of the year. I can't work in a noisy environment where everyone is talking. I need peace and quiet, s
o I'm staying at home more than usual. And after such a chaotic start to the year, I'll feel more useful to my family. 

Talking about family, it's not easy every day when a big part of your family is racist or fascist. I'm not kidding... If you know Bainville or l'Action française in French history, you can understand how they live in a dangerous parallel world. This post is not going to be another LiveFromFrance, but France is going to be another country in Europe to fall into the far right and racism. Humans ... If someone asks me why I prefer animals, I'll just have to look at my garden with all the different cats that come to eat the croquettes and pâtés that I leave for them. Black cats, white cats, stray cats, etc. There are some fights, but nothing involving nuclear weapons or beheadings. I'm forced to forget these aspects and not to talk to people about politics. I'm not in the mood for another election campaign. 

And there is something else that reminds me of some sad times... seeing someone have a nervous breakdown. It's so hard to prevent and so hard and long to cure. I feel so useless and so far away from giving anything that could help. It's something I know, and there are also times when you're walking on a tightrope, not far from falling. For the relatives it's something difficult to live or not to sink in a breakdown. At the moment I'm working on myself not to go into a burnout with all my schedule. Last week it was to be with more sun for the future with goals that have been abandoned or...could be. Sometimes I feel the water around my neck, not far from drowning... It's time to go, to get out. I know I can do it, but sometimes it seems that everything is confused in my head, with a lot of information to sort out, to analyse, ...

I'm starting to read this post again and it's not very funny. Life is like that, with ups and downs. I don't like the end of winter because I need sun (not too much, I melt), I need fun and it's always the spleen. It's rainy, cold, grey and dark. I prefer snow or the beautiful and bright spring. I had flowers with my winter jasmine, now with my cherry tree and soon with my apple trees. I've had hyacinths, yellow narcissi, but that's not enough to give me hope, joy, etc. And I doubt myself again, as I always do. I'm looking for solutions to keep my interest in geopolitics without spending too much time on it. Maybe it's to cure myself of "infobesity" or "information overload". It's my main problem for this year and I need to do some serious work on myself. I will say something about this on the French blog. 

2Dɛ

=> gemini://leetaur.com/gemlog/entries/2024-03-11.gmi A post about aggregators in Gemini

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