You remember it. It's still present right now because of that.
   Cognitive dissonance is painful stuff. How can the past be gone
   when it feels like it's here, in my memories right now? Yet it
   is gone. But it's not gone.
   I feel your pain.
   Water keeps flowing and every cup to catch the water in is full
   of holes.
   I hope the sensations that go with the panic attack pass soon
   for you. I don't like panic attacks.