I think of it like public speaking: Know your audience. I don't
   see words as having intrinsic value in themselves. It's how we
   use them. Using words included our intentions, includes how they
   are received, interpreted, misinterpreted and all the other
   wonky bits that go along it. So: Know your audience. If you say
   "That's gay" to your friends and they all say it, maybe it's ok.
   But if in the surrounding culture, it might be offensive to
   some... there's the chance that someone is in your group that
   you THINK are ok with it, that isn't and they're silently
   suffering. So, sometimes you CAN'T know your audience
   completely. Now, needs to be said: perfect communication is
   likely impossible. Let's say you use a word that offends some.
   You find out you've offended someone. How do you respond? That's
   where it really matters. Then again, people don't always give
   you feedback. Can't always know if you've offended someone. So
   what to do? Do you walk on eggshells, afraid to even speak? No,
   that's silly. Plunge boldly ahead and speak BUT... if you LEARN
   that some words are charged... use them with care.
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