Wow! Heather - you're my hero of the night - I want to sit at
   your feet and hear more! I was just thinking my thoughts about
   the silliness of shame, how the shaming starts when we're babies
   -- and the shame placed by caregivers is usually well-intetioned
   (but I think it expresses itself in ways different than the
   caregivers expect), the shame placed by classmates is NOT
   well-intentioned at all -... and we carry it all with us,
   becoming strangely embarassed or angry or strike back and we
   never quite know why. VERY interesting how Shame and Trauma are
   connected."Don't tell or else" - and then whatever you weren't
   supposed to tell (doesn't matter what it is - family secret,
   classmate punching you in the stomach, anything) gets
   internalized and becomes "your fault" which gets deeper and
   deeper until it leads to trauma or a compulsive disorder - s...
   "