21 July 2023
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*Warning: Post in somewhat depressed mood*  

Recently, for the last couple of weeks i am in a somewhat *meh* mood with
missing energy for nearly everything.

The thing is: Over the last three to five years my wife and i were 
constantly on edge, there was our barn conversion project, there were
many problems that needed attention NOW, there was the ilness of my dad
(he MUCH better now, thank the nonexistant gods!), there was the pregnancy
and birth of our son... to make it short: We had simply no time for 
anything besides the immediate needs. Now, with the big project finished,
our son now five months old and new habit settled in there is again free
time... but i somehow have no energy left (and no real interest) to do 
anything with that free time. 

Yesterday night this somehow hit me: Five years ago i had multiple hobbies,
i was riding motorcycles, did film photography, was building RC sailing 
boats, but now all of this have become somewhat meaningless and ... not
interesting any more. Yes, i tinker around with alternative operating 
systems etc., but even that is more a thing to kill time and procastinate
instead of something i really WANT to do.

Whatever... i need to find something that really interests me again     
(besides the things that are neccessary for my family), otherwise i see
myself turning into one of those guys spending every evening sitting with
a beer in front of the TV... *shudder*