# Journey into the Darkness

## Ch. 2: First Exposure

As it turns out, deleting Windows was the best thing I could have done with that old Thinkpad (or any computer for that matter).  It led to learning just what an operating system even is, and that there were other options besides Windows.  It wasn't that I was clueless, after all I had learned Windows XP inside and out by this time.  I knew all the settings and where to find them, what they did, I understood the concept of disk fragmentation... Hell, I even knew about the registry and how to create new environmental variables, things a typical teenager in 2006 didn't give a hoot about. I was only vaguely aware of the Apple computers but didn't know just how different they were, having never used one myself.

The existence of other operating systems was completely new, so I made it my mission to research this foreign concept, using the relatively new Wikipedia. When I research something, it's not just a matter of reading an article or two and calling it a day.  No, this became a history lesson in computer technology, going all the way back to the ENIAC and other behemoth vacuum-tube computers of the 1940s and 1950s with patch-cable plug boards, the discrete-transistor mainframes of the 1960s with wire-wrapped CPUs and "core" memory, the 1970's minicomputers and the microprocessor, the microcomputers of the 1980's and eventually the 1990s IBM and generic PCs. Through all of this, I found references to countless operating systems that have come and gone, many of which were either variants of Unix or some form of DOS.

Unix became an obsession for me and I would search in vain for a copy that would run on x86.  I'm still not sure exactly what it was that got me hooked. At the time, I must have thought (incorrectly) that the BSDs were unobtainable, but the discovery of Linux was a promising step forward. Many distributions turned up such as Debian, Slackware, Knoppix and various forked projects, most of them free and open source.  I promptly ordered a CD for Ubuntu, using the XP machine as the test bench.

This would be my first introduction to free, open source software, a novel and fascinating concept for me at a time when all the software I knew about was either free to download, free to try or cost a fortune, always coming with a mile-long EULA page.  Never had I imagined anything of the magnitude of which I was about to experience.  An entire operating system, complete with useful software bundled onto a single CD... for free?  As in free to download, use, modify and redistribute?  What rock have I been living under?  When the CD arrived in the mail, I quickly tore open the package and loaded it into the disc tray, ready to try a free operating system that was based on this "Unix" I'd read about before...

This experiment did not last very long as Ubuntu needed at least 256MB of RAM to run, but the machine had 192MB.  Sure, the desktop would appear but that's about it.  Even trying to open the start menu was asking too much of this aging machine.  But it didn't look too different from Windows XP.  I mean, there was a toolbar with a menu and a clock, and what turned out to be virtual desktops (what!?), but it was otherwise unusable.

Already I was a fan despite having such a poor experience with Ubuntu. There were others I could try.  A lot of others...  Damn Small Linux sounded nice since it managed to fit a lot of useful software into a 50MB download, including the Firefox web browser (before Firefox itself would become a 50+ MB download).  Let's just think about that for a second; An entire operating system, complete with the GRUB boot loader, a terminal emulator, multiple text editors, graphics editors and viewers, three web browsers including Firefox, plus many other utilities for office and email.  And it would all fit on a 64MB flash drive!  I couldn't believe it, and in 2023 I think such an achievement may just be impossible with a modern kernel and up-to-date software.  Even many mobile apps are larger downloads and are nowhere near as functional...

Unfortunately, things weren't so easy as they are today, and installing this new system required the use of the command line to manually partition the disk, copy files, set up the boot loader and so on...  There was no helpful installer like on Ubuntu.  It was a terrifying experience because I knew that just one mistake would turn the desktop into a (very heavy) paperweight just like the ThinkPad, and I had NO IDEA how to fix it should things go wrong. By some miracle granted by the gods, no mistakes were made and the system was installed alongside Windows XP (just in case).  Upon booting, I was thrown into a very unfamiliar environment with an ugly background and no start menu.  Turns out the menu is opened by clicking anywhere on the desktop. Getting online was impossible, getting used to the strange user interface was out of the question.  It had to go.

For some twisted reason MS-DOS had become another obsession of mine, but the decision was made to play with FreeDOS since it was an active project that was readily available and could be installed from a CD.  By this time I had acquired a used desktop which ran Windows ME and had both a floppy disk drive and a CD drive.  It was often used to experiment with things that might break the XP machine and within months the antivirus could no longer update. A few months later it couldn't even get online, so it was the perfect test bench for FreeDOS.  I remember spending half a day playing around with the colors of the screen, setting the background to blue with yellow text, switching back to green text on black, then amber text, basically every combination I could think of.

The environment was rather strange but fun to use, like traveling to another time period.  All those old floppies served a purpose again. I was even experimenting with C and C++, partly because I couldn't get Python installed. RHIDE became one of my favorite programs, though I did try emacs briefly and was not impressed.  From then on, the command line was no longer this useless add-on for Windows, it was the only way to get shit done.

There was no GUI getting in the way and thus no need for a mouse, which was especially nice because I didn't have a desk in my room.  Instead the CRT monitor sat on top of a small nightstand which left no room for anything else, while the single drawer was pulled out to hold the keyboard.  The space below the drawer was open so I had some leg room, but it was a tight fit.  I was amazed by how fast this old computer started up, I'd never seen anything quite like it before.  The only thing that was disappointing was the lack of internet access, something I couldn't get to work.  This meant downloading software on the XP machine and burning a CD to take upstairs.

Mostly it was used for playing Doom, Quake, Blood and many other games I found, and it's because of this that the old DOS machine had the honor of being the one upon which I killed three monitors and four keyboards in a year.  I was 16 and prone to violent bursts of rage, usually with the result of something being thrown across the room.  Something about those old games just made my blood boil when I was losing...  Out of nowhere, the sound of keys clacking would be replaced by me screaming the 'F' word at the monitor, followed by a series of loud banging and crunching sounds. The ensuing silence would be broken only by the patter of random keys landing on the hardwood floor, having launched like tiny missiles moments before. My friends were quite alarmed when they saw the scrap pile of stray keys and tangled wires, three keyboard halves (one MIA) and my favorite; a 14" flat screen display with a 7" Buck knife sticking out of it.

At some point this machine was used to play with Damn Small Linux again, giving it one more chance despite the annoying user interface.  Thus began my first experience with the Linux command line.  I'm sure you can predict how this went after using DOS for several months.  Trying to use DOS commands such 'dir' and 'chdir' would fail since their UNIX counterparts were 'ls' and 'cd', something I did not expect.  Trying to change the command prompt and the color profile also failed.  Typing 'help' was met with the response 'help not found', which I interpreted as the system mocking me.  Suddenly I decided I don't like this "Unix" I'd read so much about.  It would be years before I ever took the time to actually learn the Linux command line.

=> ./index.gmi Index
=> ./3.gmi Ch. 3: Delah Tux
=> ../../index.gmi Home