Not sure where 2022 went without a post. Writing this now, retrospectively in Feb of 2023. 

L went for surgery. It was a challenging period, to confront the possible loss, on top of being burnt out and extremely tired from everything, and so I took the opportunity to just stop work altogether, with hopes of somewhat pursuing a different career altogether. Initially it was great. But eventually it didn't work out, and soon enough I went back into a the environment which I dreaded with unfortunately familiarity. Same shit, different side of the fence. The probation seemed to pass fairly quickly, of which I also fairly quickly began to question again the whole point and purpose of everything. The term quiet quitting seemed to resonate, but I knew it wasn't me nor who I could be. Hence the internal conflict and struggle.