shrink
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I guess I'm back to seeing my shrink... things got worse I need help.

I've been coming to work 1.5 hours early this past 2 weeks. I've been so busy
at work and it's getting out of hand. I still remain calm though... that's
because I don't let work affect me anymore. I have this defence mechanism that
I use when people at work start abusing me. I'm a wolf in sheep clothing as
they say. Watch out.

... I sometimes just want to stop working and do nothing. I can't handle
selfish/arrogant/insensitive people around me sometimes. I need to shut them
out. My boss told me to learn to work with people like these. I wanted to tell
my boss NO WAY so bad and that I would rather quit but I had to control myself.
I have this new rule now where before I do something terrible I sleep on it
overnight. Most of the time I am calmer and 'nicer' the next day. Why would you
subject people you work with with your own bitterness that you get out of your
own personal life??? I don't understand this. I don't do this. I have always
learned to sepparate work and personal life. I never bring personal problems to
work nor inflict my own sufferings to people at work. It's just not fair.

I'm so tired of everyone in this world. The only living thing that I seem to
get along with perfectly, 100%, without flaw, is my cat. That's why I love
animals. They don't say much.

... so I gave in to my parents' wishes. Now I must suffer.