~$> Here lie my Words of Wisdom from delivering food around Penn State University during the years 2015-2019.
~$> They will go in one ear and out the other.


"Remember, when you make a right turn, do not use your turn signal."
	--no one

Don't trust old people.

Assume that cyclists assume they're better than you.

Pedestrians think they are cars.

If you can't see the driver, it's probably an old person.

It backfires to be nice.

No turn signals = turning soon

Drivers daydream.

No one else is confident enough to figure out cruise control.

Pennsylvanians don't know what the center lane is for, but PA has them everywhere.

Some are still adjusting from horse buggies.

Most forgot what the "fast lane" is.

Assume at least half of drivers got their "license" from the black market.

Assume at least half of pedestrians got their "common sense" from the black market.

Respect bus drivers and they will respect you back.

30% of tips go to gas, the rest goes to oil changes and other 
maintenance.

Apparently my job was to illegally piggy-back into a secured building 
because elevators are not convenient enough, and there's no 
buzzer to let me in. Everybody else does it except criminals with 
malicious intent. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

It pays to go the speed limit, when going back and forth so often. Cops 
watch.

Nowhere to park? Handicap spot + flashers. You're not supposed to, but it takes about 3 years for any cops to notice and say something.

What's a refrigerator? How do I make a "sandwich"?  

Huh? "Micro...wave"?

When the boss doesn't give a fuck, life is groovy.

Around most dorms (concrete, steel, brick), calls don't work, but texts do. Don't ask me how that works.

Electric bicycles are SO MUCH FUN.

Know how to drift in the snow.

A 1998 Subaru Legacy with bald tires is better than a 2012 Nissan Sentra in EVERY way, even in the snow.