as i locomote lazily along, almost limping i nettle my lower self with a question that i’ve forgotten the answer to many times: what am i supposed to feel, exactly? pushing it to the vault, i reluctantly continue to lollygag, turning my neck carefully to see and to hear the so-called wonders of nature. wonderful sensations in 360 degrees times 360 degrees -- life abounds! the point at which i realize the distinct lack of internal-combustion interruptions is the moment that scratches a faint record in memory of whimsy, wonder, wakefulness, whatever.