2023-01-02
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Gef at SDF talks about multi-dimensionality being forced into
hiding in us through the culture being somehow hostile to it.

I definitely feel this, being mostly a learner instead of a doer.
What I do feels sort of a by-product of the learning. Even the
most polished products I create are always in some way a learning
process, never mind I am on a very high level on what I do best.

I think it did take a very long time to come to that level,
compared to other people. I have spent so much time dabbling in
side quests that there has not been a main quest much time at all.
My genre is very much open world.

Now that I am old enough to feel like there aren't that many areas
where I could reach anything close to mastery, due to the 
constraints of human life span, do I feel like the
multi-dimensionality is a problem? No, I don't think so. It was a
problem when I was young and not particularly good at anything.
But now, seeing what the old people do with their talents, it is
good to have options. When I am not able to be paid for my
interests, I will have a good time with all these dimensions,
while the people who are only good at their jobs and shopping will
have it hard.

I think what I am saying I have chosen a dimension where I am
good enough to compete against the people who have only that
dimension, and I keep a lot of side tracks open. I wouldn't
be surprised if one or two of the side tracks became "presentable"
at some point.

It is true that the society has no interest in multi-dimensional
persons, but I don't think it makes an effort in keeping me out
of the other dimensions. Like, if I am in some context a video
producer and in another context a writer, there is no need to
bring these aspect under the same roof. I think it might be more
possible to keep them separated these days, since you don't
necessarily need to glue them up with your public persona.

I think if I had to have a public persona, I would likely be
paralyzed. Everything I do is based on not being attached to the
final product in a sense. Even if I one day produce something
self-referential to be publicly presented in some form, I think
even then it will have to be made in a way where the art stands
on its own. Something where it is always clear that I am an
untrustworthy source of information.

Maybe the hardness and the simplicity are the really distasteful
features of the one-dimensional representations. Is there anything
about my character that I would like to be put up into a txt or
a tombstone? What's the character limit on a tomb?

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